Thank you for harming other children

CrunchyKnitter · 11-07-2009, 09:01 AM

This is what I get when I talk about not vaccinating our child. I am a horrible, irresponsible, stupid mother who is not only putting our child at risk, but I am putting their children at risk and then it's usually followed by a big old "F you".

This bothers me on soooo many levels and I don't even know how to respond anymore. I won't shut up about my choices so it's going to continue. I hate that people think I am putting my child and theirs at risk. How do you get around this issue?

fruitfulmomma · 11-07-2009, 09:12 AM

Is their child vaccinated? If so, how is *their* child at risk? Or did it not work???

CrunchyKnitter · 11-07-2009, 09:46 AM

haha that's exactly what I say to them usually! Then I get "well vaccines are only truly effective if EVERYONE gets them". So basically they believe that their child is more protected if we're all vax'd, that whole herd immunity thing.
I also can't stand when people think we don't vax b/c we can "get away with it" due to herd immunity. Um no, we don't vax b/cI am not comfortable putting that in my tiny 2 month old son's body,nor do I believe they are good for us. I just hate the assumption that we're "getting away with something" and not that we're choosing to not vax b/c I believe they are detrimental and not necessary or effective.

Martha83 · 11-07-2009, 09:53 AM

This one gets me also....I think maybe to those rude people you should turn it around...say...well my child isn't carrying many viruses from vaccines around on them infecting those who have yet to be vaccinated against it or to those who aren't vaccinating. Go into..did you know that the MMR shot can shed and they can spread that to those around them....or the flu or whatever the case may be.

Then go on to say...I'd limit who my chid could be around if I didn't have so much faith in his/her immune system....but I know if she were to come down with one of the many illnesses they "vaccinate" for then not only would I keep her home, but she'd also be immune for life....

Dont know if all that came out right...but this one ticks me off, too....how can my UNvaccinated HEALTHY child...be spreading diseases to your "Immune" child?! Hmm?

And like I said...if she did have the measles...or flu....or chicken pox....I wouldn't be taking her out in public infecting everyone...we'd be home....(and only inviting over those who wished to get chicken pox off their list

LOL)

**amnesiac** · 11-07-2009, 05:46 PM

Please remember that this forum is intended for hosting discussion about your life as a non-vaccinating family but we will not permit posts which criticize or denigrate those who do vaccinate.

evermore82 · 11-07-2009, 06:30 PM

There are a few things I bring up when I respond.

1. If vaccinations actually work, and their children are vaccinated, then there should be no risk of your children passing any vaccine-preventable illness on to their children.

2. We live in a free country, and we have the right to make what we believe to be the best decision for ourselves and our children. Their decision, whether researched or not, is the decision they believe to be the best for their family, and is their decision to make. Same goes for you.

3. I also ask the parents if *they* are caught up on their recommended vaccinations and boosters themselves; if they are not, then I turn the accusation/question back on them.

4. I ask for their researched resources so that you can look them over to help you make the 'right' decision.

I find that one or all of these responses usually tend to ease any arguments. Hope that helps!

**chaoticzenmom** · 11-07-2009, 07:38 PM

I would respond "well, I guess I'm not a very good communist."

That'll get 'em thinking.(and I'm not accusing vaxxers of being communist, just that they might rethink criticizing your choice if you put it to them like that.) Would anyone really suggest to someone that they harm themselves for the greater good? We're such an individualist society, but when it comes to vaccines, it's like our individualism just flies out the window. We're not supposed to make a decision based on what's best for our child, but instead are asked to be a part of the herd. But maybe it's because so many people really don't think there could be any harm in vaccines.

Also, if it only works if everyone does it, then it doesn't really work at all, does it? Ask said person if they've every actually looked at the ingredients of any of the vaccines and if they know anything about the diseases it prevents. People just sign the form and assume that their child will not be a statistic. It only takes being a statistic (in any form) a few times before all of a sudden, we look at the statistic and think of those numbers as being possibly us. Maybe those trusting people are lucky. Personally, I've been a statistic too many times.

**chaoticzenmom** · 11-07-2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrunchyKnitter

haha that's exactly what I say to them usually! Then I get "well vaccines are only truly effective if EVERYONE gets them". So basically they believe that their child is more protected if we're all vax'd, that whole herd immunity thing.
I also can't stand when people think we don't vax b/c we can "get away with it" due to herd immunity. Um no, we don't vax b/cI am not comfortable putting that in my tiny 2 month old son's body,nor do I believe they are good for us. I just hate the assumption that we're "getting away with something" and not that we're choosing to not vax b/c I believe they are detrimental and not necessary or effective.

This bothers me too. I'd prefer that nobody vaccinate because I believe that they cause chronic illnesses. I'm not thankful that they are vaccinating so that I don't have to. I feel that in the long-run, we are going to have to spend more money and resources on helping all of these people who have been harmed by vaccines.

Deborah · 11-07-2009, 08:18 PM

Focus on the inconsistency here:

Vaccines are safe, and not vaccinating is just being paranoid and silly...

however...

people who don't vaccinate are getting a free ride on herd immunity and not taking their share of the risk...

What? What risk would that be? You mean vaccines can be dangerous?

SunshineJ · 11-08-2009, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evermore82

There are a few things I bring up when I respond.

1. If vaccinations actually work, and their children are vaccinated, then there should be no risk of your children passing any vaccine-preventable illness on to their children.

2. We live in a free country, and we have the right to make what we believe to be the best decision for ourselves and our children. Their decision, whether researched or not, is the decision they believe to be the best for their family, and is their decision to make. Same goes for you.

3. I also ask the parents if *they* are caught up on their recommended vaccinations and boosters themselves; if they are not, then I turn the accusation/question back on them.
4. I ask for their researched resources so that you can look them over to help you make the 'right' decision.

I find that one or all of these responses usually tend to ease any arguments. Hope that helps!

Honestly the bolded one is one of the best replies in these situations. Find out what the CDC recommends, and when they reply that they are caught up (per their childhood schedule most of the time) then point out that to truly be up to date they should have received about 12 vaccines not couting flu after they turned 19 and graduated HS. Look them straight in the eye and ask them when THEIR last MMR was (CDC recommends 2 shots as an adult). When they stammer, you can raise your eyebrows and point out that if you didn't trust your child's immune system, they'd be considered a much greater threat than your childl

freestylemama · 11-08-2009, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma

Is their child vaccinated? If so, how is *their* child at risk? Or did it not work???

It works because some kids have major reactions and/or are medically fragile and cannot receive immunizations. These kids rely on herd immunity to stay healthy.

Proud2BeAnAmerican · 11-08-2009, 10:46 PM

I try to be respectful of the fact that some children(and their parents) don't have a choice to vax due to chronic illness or allergies. Babies too young to be vaccinated are also at risk of VPD's as well.

I'm thankful that I have healthy children and am able to make the choice to vax or not vax them. I also don't feel the need to talk about my children's vax status with strangers or even most relatives. I feel confident enough in my choices to be able to "shut up" about them

**JamesMama** · 11-08-2009, 11:33 PM

My aunt jumped me one time...something about "Well, it's a good thing you're homeschooling because if I had kids in school with yours I'd be ticked!" I asked her "If your children are fully vaccinated what do you have to fear?"

Since then I just don't mention it. My children's vaccine/non-vaccine status is no ones business but my own.

I have friends that vax and they don't believe I'm 'mooching' off their kids vax status...just that I made a different choice than them.

And to some vax'ers I want to say "Thank-you for putting my DH at risk." He basically has no immune system so the live vaccines put him at risk.

WC_hapamama · 11-09-2009, 03:12 AM

My kids are mostly vaccinated, so I don't get my panties in a bunch about being around kids who are unvaccinated. If anything, I worry about exposing the unvaxed kids if my kids have just received a vaccine that sheds a live virus.

The only "live virus" vaccine my kids have received in the last 10 years has been varivax though, and the 3 of the 4 I did vaccinate, I vaccinated to protect the one that couldn't get the vaccine.

BeckyBird · 11-09-2009, 08:05 PM

What about babies catching a disease from a child who was just vaccinated, from the shedding vaccine?

Or the flumist LIVE vaccine, which can potentially infect those of us who did not get the vaccine? Shedding all over the place, *shudder*. I tell you what, that makes me very upset, as a non-vaxxer!