Recovering from c-section

[jenak]

I'm so sorry. I was there last time around. Thinking about DD's birth still has the ability to make me cry sometimes and it's over 2 years ago... but it's not the same pain that it was in the beginning. It is really hard emotionally to accept an unplanned c/s, no matter how necessary it was. I also felt strongly that it was just one more way my body failed me.

And people who belittle your emotions with the "at least you have a healthy baby" line should be whacked upside the head with a very large stick. Seriously. I always wanted to tell them "Of course I wanted a healthy baby most of all, but thanks for implying otherwise."

Once you're more healed physically I hope you can go to an ICAN meeting, it was very therapeutic for me just to be in a room full of women who understood why I was upset because none of my real-life friends understands it at all.

[shenanegans]

Hi there...the women here are all in the same mind set as me luckily. I totally understand your feelings. My son was born by "emergency c-section" in Japan 2.5 years ago. I truly believe if I had been with a midwife I definitely would have had the natural birth that I so wanted. It would have been a slow labor yes, but a healthy mom and baby in the end.(on all aspects, emotionally and physically) I am terribly saddened by the blatent abuse of c-sections and interventions that often lead to c-sections in the current medical system.
I just found out I am expecting again, due July 2010. I have done a lot of reading and probably not enough talking but I hope my last birth experience won't get in the way of my vbac. I am really hoping to be with a midwife, but here you have to get on a waiting list at one of the 3 birth centers and hope for a stroke of luck to get a spot. Luckily it is covered by national insurance but there is no private midwifes if I don't get a spot so that is the only option. I am afraid to be in a hospital for a birth again. I was lucky enough to be with a good friend of mine while she gave birth in the birthcenter and it was wonderful to see how birth should be, gentle, peaceful and fast!
It is such a confusing thing to experience, the mix of emotions after an unwanted c-section but a very much loved and wanted baby.
I feel your pain. Enjoy your new baby and talk to someone special who you know won't say "at least you got a healthy baby"

[fyrebloom]

Originally Posted by TanyaS

http://www.birthtruth.org/grateful.htm

Very well put!

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by TanyaS

http://www.birthtruth.org/grateful.htm

Thanks for sharing that!

[Norasmomma]

I've had 2 c/s, the first an emergency after major decels of DD and then my uterus stopping contracting. Then to add another blow was told a VBAC would never be an option because of the fact I had pushed DD so far a T-incision was on my uterus and that it carried a higher chance of rupture(about 12% I was told by the nurse midwife who checked me in for this one). I did labor with DD(30 hours, 3 pushing) and had a c/s-I was beat up, I did realize that until this c/s how messed up I really was. I recovered fine with DD's, but it was much harder than this one. I'm done now, I didn't want to have another c/s(or more kids).

I guess my biggest thing is don't feel like a failure, you can grow a beautiful healthy baby, and that is a powerful thing. Life doesn't always go as planned, I know that myself-I had a beautiful vision of a waterbirth that will never happen for me.

I know it sounds like a broken record, but the housework just needs to be put on the backburner, your mom needs to back off on your DP. I hate hearing about someone telling a new parent they are doing everything wrong, that just chaps me-give him a break, uh he's also a new dad.

I have to add, please keep up with your pain meds, that helps with things. Take a nap, and yes again forget the house(I know easier said than done). drink plenty of water and try to be positive in light of the negative things, I fully believe that's what helped me through my c/s experiences. I know it sounds hard and maybe others will think it's lame advice, but I swear it worked for me.

[kathleen_mary]

Hi - I just got home from the hospital after a totally unexpected c-section and it is really good to hear some other stories.

I have a really great midwife, who stayed with me through the surgery and I don't really feel like my care was mismanaged at all...everyone on the surgical team from the OB to anesthesiologist was awesome through the whole thing. I spent a long, long time in active labor and got stuck at 6 cm. When they pulled the baby out they found her tangled up in her cord, so she was sort of tethering above the birth canal, and descending into it at a weird angle with every contraction. We opted to do the cesarean before it was a real emergency, so I was awake and everybody explained things to me and my husband was there, etc. I wouldn't call it traumatic, but now I feel sort of weepy about the whole thing. I cry every time I think about it.

It was just so different from what I prepared myself for. And it really freakin' hurts now! I am not a person who even takes tylenol for a headache usually, so it's hard to make myself take pain meds. And not being able to really bend over and pick up my baby is hard.

And now my milk is really slow to come in and she lost some weight so I'm breastfeeding and then supplementing with a bottle of pumped milk and then pumping again for the next feeding. Every two hours. Eek.

I feel like my body is "broken". I had a completely healthy pregnancy and was very active, did prenatal yoga, was walking in the park every day, etc. This was just so unexpected.

[Spiralshell]

Originally Posted by kathleen_mary

Hi - I just got home from the hospital after a totally unexpected c-section and it is really good to hear some other stories.

It sounds like we had very similar experiences.
Please DO take the pain medication -- it's good to take it because it lets you pick up the little one and move around a bit without feeling such pain.
I hear you on the milk thing -- getting started with breastfeeding has been very difficult for me too -- it was complicated by him being trapped in the NICU but just having a c-section makes it hard in general.
The whole thing was so much different from what I prepared myself for too... I really believed I could and would give birth naturally that I never imagined myself getting a c-section or mentally preparing myself for that possibility. And then, of course, it happened. Sigh...
Hang in there -- it's two weeks for me today, and aside from some bad stabbing pains if I move the wrong way, I really am feeling a lot better now.

[kathleen_mary]

What pain meds were you prescribed?

I was given Ibuprofen and Hydrocodone (vicadin?) - but I just read that hydrocodone should not be used during breastfeeding. My baby is really sleeping a lot and it's kind of hard to wake her up to feed. I just called the doctor to find out what the deal is with that, but I know they are aware that I am breastfeeding.

I was told to alternate the two, but maybe I can just alternate Ibuprofen and Tylenol?

She was really good at breastfeeding the first day, and I think maybe because I was still on the morphine from the surgery.

[hildare]

sounds like we had very similar experiences. for 9 months all i did was read ina may books and visualize a perfect vaginal birth. it's hard not to feel somewhat betrayed by an uncooperative body (my cervix never even effaced after 24 hours of labor).. and i fluctuate between being upset about it to being ok with it.
the nurse that we liked the most said you never know, too, what would have happened otherwise-- she's seen people have (in her words) "totally destroyed vaginas," and vaginal births that ended up in sections halfway through,etc. so, i guess things could always be worse. personally i too am having major problems recovering because i feel ok most of the time, despise a dirty house, do too much and end up bleeding more than i should be. i was on bedrest (i remember i think you were too) for so long, it's SO HARD to not do anything.
i've just been trying to journal a little about my feelings about the birth. i don't want to deny the sadness and loss of a natural birth, but i also don't want to keep thinking about it either. (which is also a tendancy i have when i lie around doing nothing!)
the worst part for me is that i bought an awesome baby book for her and i can't get past the "my birth story" page. i don't know what to write or what to tell her about her birth.
i hope you get better physically and emotionally very very quickly. maybe if you ask friends/ relatives SPECIFICALLY what you need -- everyone wants to help but may not think about sweeping or changing your sheets or whatever. get better and enjoy your babe! (and know you're not the only one!)

[joyakshi]

Originally Posted by Charlize

I wish I had pushed for an external version or anything to try to turn her, but I trusted my OB and thought she was doing what was in my best interest.

i've decided that every woman is different and each birth is different, and is the baby's choice. i had a version to avoid c-section and ended up with c-section b/c i believe baby wanted to be breech. in this day & age there is no choice but c-section for breech. but i think we may have delivered vaginally if she'd been left breech - if anyone would deliver breech here.

[joyakshi]

Originally Posted by Spiralshell

I really believed I could and would give birth naturally that I never imagined myself getting a c-section or mentally preparing myself for that possibility. And then, of course, it happened. Sigh...
Hang in there -- it's two weeks for me today, and aside from some bad stabbing pains if I move the wrong way, I really am feeling a lot better now.

i think maybe i was at least somewhat prepared for c -section b/c we were breech for so long and agonized over doing a version. even though we did the version, I had already accepted a possible c- section and given myself over to whatever happens, happens. even though we expected a natural birth with a vertex baby in the end, i think I was ok with the section b/c I was prepared for it during weeks 33-37. i guess that does help. when it's totally unexpected, it's probably much harder to accept.
I hope you're feeling better these days.