Why can't DS nurse to sleep anymore!?

ihathi · 11-06-2009, 10:42 PM

My DS2 is about 19 m/o and has nursed to sleep most of his little life.

As of about 3 weeks ago, he suddenly couldn't nurse to sleep effectively. Actually, at first, he would nurse to sleep, but he would wake up as soon as I broke his latch. A couple times, he let me break his latch, but he'd wake right up when I laid him down in his bed.

At this point, I'm not even trying to nurse him to sleep. Now, when he nurses at night, his eyes don't automatically start to get heavy like they used to. Instead, when he's finished nursing, I put him in the sling and sing him to sleep while pacing the apartment.

Is this a normal stage? Is there any chance that he'll ever be able to nurse to sleep again? I hate to think that I'll have to walk him to sleep every night from now until he's capable of laying down and falling asleep on his own (mostly because that feels like a looong way away!)

Would appreciate any perspective...

rocketgirl96 · 11-06-2009, 11:07 PM

I'm interested too. this is happening with my 20 month old as well and it's really hard to rock him to sleep now that he's bigger.

Qestia · 11-07-2009, 10:35 AM

I remember this happened with ds around this age--we bottle fed him and around 18 months he stopped falling asleep with the bottle. It made me a little crazy. I don't understand why some peoplethink nursing to sleep is bad- it's great while it lasts! But we had to find other ways to get him to sleep, I just laid w him awhile, eventually got him to go to sleep alone. It was rough while we worked it out.

Megan73 · 11-07-2009, 12:25 PM

Right there with you - I actually logged on to ask this question!
DS is 15 months and nursing to sleep now works only about half the time. DH can rock him to sleep but I just don't seem to have the knack and he's getting so big and heavy.
DH went on a business trip and I nursed him to sleep half-a-dozen times only to have him wake up each time I lay him down.
If anyone has any tips I REALLY want to hear them!

kristinekristine · 11-07-2009, 12:29 PM

this is happening with my 16mo as well. it sucks

he just doesnt fall asleep at the boob anymore. he will either want to nurse for an hour + which i can not stand or i can offer him a pillow and he will fall asleep with me laying next to him but this also takes nearly an hour. i have no time to lay with him for an hour every evening! i have so much to do! last night it took almost 2 hours and he kept waking up to nurse more more more i eventually just had to rub his back while he cried it out becuase i could not stand to nurse him any longer (we had switchedsides about 10 times too). this is a crappy sleep transition. i miss nursing him to sleep and he would be out in 20 min and that was that.

paulamc · 11-07-2009, 01:37 PM

Wow, it's interesting that you are all having this problem. I wonder if everyone does or if some other babies keep nursing to sleep much longer. We don't have this problem as yet, at 13 months, but if we did, I think I'd take the opportunity to get DH involved in getting DS to sleep, since I've done it every single night since birth on my own. Of course DH helps with the bedtime routine - bath etc. - but I'm the one that actually gets him to sleep.

ihathi · 11-07-2009, 02:07 PM

Well, at least I see I'm in good company!

Quote:

Originally Posted by paulamc

I wonder if everyone does or if some other babies keep nursing to sleep much longer. We don't have this problem as yet, at 13 months, but if we did, I think I'd take the opportunity to get DH involved in getting DS to sleep, since I've done it every single night since birth on my own. Of course DH helps with the bedtime routine - bath etc. - but I'm the one that actually gets him to sleep.

Paulamc, I can attest that this doesn't happen to all toddlers in the second year. DS1 kept nursing to sleep at night until after he turned 2. By the time we started doing some gentle, mother-led weaning with him, my DH already had developed tricks for getting him to lay down and fall asleep on his own.

Unfortunately, this time around, DH works nights so it's really up to me to set up and carry out the regular night routine.

blizzard_babe · 11-08-2009, 01:33 PM

DS (18 mos) does this too. We're working through it, but it's tough. I don't have any real advice because we're just sort of figuring it out as we go...

Lydiah · 11-08-2009, 03:31 PM

I took advantage of it when it happened to us. I learned other ways to get DD to sleep. I would nurse, read a story, tuck her in and put her to bed. To my surprise she would go to sleep most nights with little to no fussing. Sometimes she whines a bit after tuck in time but its never a full out cry. She is 20 months now and this is how she goes to bed. If she does cry at bed time, I give it a moment and then go into her room, rub her back and tell her its bedtime and try again. I give it a moment before rushing in because she does stop on her own and go to sleep. I like now too because after I nurse DH can put her to bed too.

mi_amor · 11-09-2009, 12:55 PM

My DS stopped nursing to sleep when he was 12 months old. He would nurse before bed, but wouldn't fall asleep. So I hand him over to DH who rocks him every night in the rocking chair to put him to sleep.

Sometimes he falls asleep while nursing if he's really tired, but most of the time he likes being rocked.

pumpkinseed · 11-10-2009, 01:45 PM

My dd is 17 months and is going thru this. She gave up rocking first-she would either rock or nurse to sleep. But then all of a sudden she would start screaming if I rocked her so I tried laying her down and she stopped screaming. She now wants to lay down and have me rub her back. We go back and forth. We cycle thru nursing, laying down and rubbing her back, nursing, laying down and rubbing her back. It used to be most days she would still fall asleep nursing-but try to fall asleep with me rubbing her back-but latch back on and fall asleep. Now its more of her falling asleep while me rubbing her back-but we still go back and forth. It has definitely been a process with her-and its interesting how its progressing. She is still in it. Every child is different and sleep is developmental-all kids in their own time want to try to start falling asleep on their own-its our job to follow their cue and help them. They will tell us when they are ready for the next step! My older dd by this age was putting herself to sleep-this one is quite different

**monkey-lamb** · 11-17-2009, 03:27 PM

My DD is 14 months old, but we ran into this problem right before she turned a year old. It was so sad! She now sometimes falls asleep nursing when she is really tired, like right after her swimming lessons or in the middle of the night. I cherish these nursings and remember our early days of nursing. <sniff>