Remembering Our Loved Ones~A Memorial

lisamarie · 01-26-2004, 11:33 AM

This is a Memorial Thread to remember our loved ones who are no longer with us here, but touched our lives with their presence and love and are with us in spirit. This is a place to remember our loved ones on their birthdays, special holidays and on anniversery dates or even just because they are heavy on our hearts today. This is a memorial post honoring our loved ones, but not a discussion or support thread. If you would like to post more about issues surrounding your grief and loss, we would encourage you to post a new thread below so we can support you further.

Please come and light a candle in honor of your loved one and celebrate their lives with us.

Warmly~

Lisa:bf

KaiandAidensMama · 01-26-2004, 12:17 PM

Well, I guess I will be the first since the 2nd anniversary of my mother's death, January 5.
On that awful day, she was murdered along with two other people, while they were sleeping. My family and I consider ourselves rather lucky, because the man who did this sits in jail for life, with no parole possibility. SO we do not have to deal with any more hearings, etc....
Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that she died brutally at only 46 years old. That my 6 year old will barely remember her and my 2 year old will have no memories. My children, especially the oldest, remember the day when I was told, my reaction, everything. They now know, first hand, how cruel and violent the world can be. That is probably one of the hardest things, trying to raise them believing that life really is beautiful when something so terrrible has happened. Another great reason to AP, I am so glad I am, I need them close as much as they need me. We cherish every single second together, no matter how "miniscule" because I know those are the things they will remember. These are the things I remember about my mom, like baking oatmeal cookies, an ordinary day. I will write more about her as the moment directs. I am glad you started this forum, thank you.

applejuice · 01-31-2004, 12:39 AM

My children set up a memorial to their Poppy, my DH, when he died.

There are pictures, and personal effects and his medals.

There is one in the living room and one in their room.

Greaseball · 03-20-2004, 06:16 PM

March 16th would have been my brother's 23rd birthday. This was the first year I didn't do anything special. I just couldn't think of anything to do and didn't feel like going anywhere. I just prayed that he would show up in my dreams and he did.

04-08-2004, 03:05 AM

Joyce in the mts. · 04-27-2004, 08:56 AM

Soon it will be time to take my mother to my dad's and my sister's graves, Just as my parents did for my grandmothers, to go and plant a flower, place a flag, have a thoughtful, silent moment of communion and remembrance.

My sister is buried on the shore of a lake. Her gravestone is white marble, carved into the very old fashioned arched shape, with the image of a weeping willow, a traditional mourning motif, carved into it along with the phrase, "She was truly loved".

It's true, she was truly loved. She was everything I am not: organized, a good student, studious and serious about education. I was a senior in High School when she died.

She most feared, before she died that I would end up marrying young, having babies and living in the boonies. She wanted me to aspire to an education and a career. I managed to manifest everything she feared...but the context is different. I married young, yes, but to a lovely and loving man, who honors mes still over 26 years later. I did have babies...3 of them, and while I chose to be a SAHM, I also did so very consciously weighing the values and the options and deciding what my goals as a mother were. So in a way...there is irony to her fears...as they turned out to be a fulfilling path for me.

Like her, I returned to the old ways. She became a museum interpreter, learned to spin and weave, used herb teas, did plant dying, and practiced those sorts of old home arts. But all these were mere motifs in her life, decorating it, while I took another path: to integrate old ways into my everyday living...using herbs and making my own preparations for healthful living, having homebirths, making do with subsistance living to keep our family footprint on the land, lighter; growing my own food some, using wild plants to supplement diet when we were very poor, and so on. She did pave a way for me...and my path is a simply variation taking what she learned some steps further...the older ways for me, were not studied toward a degree or diploma, but they illuminated a way of life. She showed the way though. I am grateful.

My dad died when I was living out west for a while. That was hard, but I made it through it.

Over the years since he died, I learned many things about him. Some very dark and unpleasant, and in fact, he had touched me inappropriately once and only once, because I avoided any opportunity to be with him alone, till I left home. I forgive him, but still don't understand it. It's been implied over the years that he attempted some inappropriate act with my sister also, but I never did hear more about that, and I will never really know. It's as if with both of us he had momentary loss of sanity and did weird stuff...once, and either by our own actions to counter any further contact with him alone, or by chance or whatever...it never happened again.

But the good stuff...all the laughter, the singing, the appreciation of nature, the love of animals, the values of honesty and kindness...he really did teach my sister and I so much that was good. He also loved to grow a garden of flowers and vegetables. I value that too. He gave us good basics as a parent.

He served our country in the South Pacific in WW2, and was deeply and invisibly wounded and damaged. He could never talk about it...except to share about the funny stuff, about his buddies, about the travels, and wonders of that part of the world. There was also an allusion to some prisoner guard duty he pulled and hints of bad things he had to do to the prisoners. He never could get that off his chest, to lighten his heart. In the end he had a massive heart attack. Ironic that his heart just couldn't carry the burdens anymore.

But over the years, I have passed through many emotions at him...and have come to forgive the stuff about me, and my sister and the things about my mother also... bad things he did to her on all levels.

I can't confront my dad for all the offenses, but he, like my sister, has come to me in dreams...and I realize that where they both are, the negativity of the past is already gone...and it is healed if I let it be. They have let it be. They have both shown me that clearly.

So I value all the good that they brought to my life and while I acknowledge the bad, I choose to glean the lessons from the bad and let the rest be chaff in the wind. The good enriches me even now and I share all that with my children...and they hear it all, the bad and the good, because there is value in both when put in perspective. But it takes lots of time to get there.

Sorry to have rambled so much.

Joyce in the mts.

ksjhwkr · 04-27-2004, 01:04 PM

I am writing in memory of my sweet daughter, Emma. She died August 23, 2003. Most days I still can't believe she is gone. When I was pregnant with Emma, I knew that this child was very special. I just felt it deep inside of me. When i found out I was having a girl, I was sad because I wanted a boy so badly, but then I realized what an amazing opportunity this was, to give birth to a daughter. Someone who I could understand, someone I could bond with and help her make decisions in her life. I was thrilled. I thought she would be named Grace. But, when she was born, we knew she was Emma. After she died I read a definition for her name, "Embracing Everything." That was my daughter. She loved life, she loved everyday that she lived.

In her 8 months and 8 days on this earth, Emma taught me so many things. She taught me how to be a Mom. She taught me about homebirth, cloth diapers, vaccinations, and a whole other slew of natural things. She helped me to see that just because the doctors say something is right, doesn't mean it is. She gave me new perspective on life.

Emma loved the outdoors. She would put her face into the wind and just smile. I think she liked the wind blowing her hair. She loved the grass and to watch the leaves blow in the trees. She helped me to slow down and really enjoy nature. Emma loved the water. She would stay in the bathtub for as long as I would let her. sometimes I thought I'd given birth to a fish!

Emma loved to nurse. She loved to wake up in the morning and crawl up and play with her Daddy's face. She was happy, so so happy. She loved her cousins, she loved her Daddy and her Mommy. She only cried if she was hungry, tired, or poopy. I could always fix what was wrong with her. She either needed Mommy or the Boob. Her last activity here on this earth was nursing. she nursed for an hour, then I laid her down for her last nap. She never woke up. My sweet princess.

Emma's smile and eyes could light up anyone's heart. People often say she glowed, it's true. You could see the happiness that just radiated from her. Her soul was too good, too perfect for this Earth. She has a much larger purpose than any of us will know.

She is forever my baby, my daughter, my joy.

I miss my baby girl. I will miss her until the day our souls are reunited. Until then, good night my angel, now it's time to sleep...Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know. I love you my sweet baby girl...forever.....

gossamer · 04-27-2004, 01:09 PM

I am so touched by everyone's story and so sorry for your losses. Of course I am here because I miss my daughter so much. I was blessed to carry and nurture her for 24 weeks, before she was taken from me. Those are 24 weeks I will never forget, they changed me forever.
Gossamer

Raven · 05-22-2004, 06:44 AM

I have tears in my eyes from reading all these posts...

My Mother-in-law passed away on the 27 December 2003. She was 45. I miss her so much. She was an amazing woman and a good friend and support to me.

She was a chronic asthmatic and she spent many many months in ICU throughout her life. But she never gave up. She was a warrior.

She did so much in her short life and I admire her strength, convictions, passion and dreams.

I miss her so much...

tracymom · 05-22-2004, 10:41 PM

It's nearly summer and time to plant the garden. Oh, that's right, there is no garden there anymore. No garden, no uncle taking a small girl through the beans and showing her how to pick them, no aunt to sit with and snap the beans with or watch can them.

She taught me to make spaghetti sauce when I was 14. I always meant to have her do it again so I could write it down this time. I wanted to know how she canned her beans so they tasted so good. I was going to take time to do that when the kids got old enough, when we had enough money for me to quit my job, when, when, when....

But time ran out. He got cancer, she had heart surgery. She died. He wasted away from cancer and grief. Childless, but they left us all so lonely.

I wish she were here to fish with my oldest son. I wish he were here to show my youngest son how to drive his boat. I wish they could see what wonderful human beings my children are turning out to be.

My candle tonight is for Martha and Dennis Warren. How I miss you.

Greaseball · 06-10-2004, 06:42 PM

Well, today is the day he died. My sisters are here from out of state and have not mentioned him at all. I guess that's OK with me. But sometimes I have this fear that everyone else is forgetting him, that their lives are all going on and only mine is affected by the loss.

I was so afraid the baby would be born on this date. I wanted her birthday to be only a day of joy, so I'm glad it all worked out that way.

I keep thinking about what I was doing as he died. I got the police report for the time of death and it was sometime in the afternoon. At that moment 3 years ago I was listening to a voice recital, I think. I didn't have any weird feelings or anything like that. I often wonder if he felt different when he left the house that day. His friends say that on the day before he died, he said that since he had "a new job, a new girlfriend, the best friends anyone could ever have, and new socks" that if he died tomorrow, he'd die happy. So I'm glad he at least got to die happy, but I don't believe he saw it coming.

I don't plan on doing anything special today; maybe next year it will work out to visit the place where he died again. I just wanted to stay home with the baby today.

rachelle-a-tron · 06-29-2004, 12:59 AM

For my Son Carson Jerome.

Carson died of SIDS in my arms while we were sleeping on feburary 15th 1998. He was 55 days old.

We love you sweet Baby Boy. I wish so badly that you could meet your brother Chase, he adores you, he talks about you & to you every day. Whenever he has a balloon he lets it go for you.

He tells anyone who will listen all about you & your life.

I can not wait to be with you again. I love you.

Greaseball · 06-29-2004, 12:25 PM

It won't let me into the site...

rachelle-a-tron · 07-01-2004, 11:47 AM

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thestephens/

try this maybe?

blueholly · 08-02-2004, 08:09 PM

My Aunt Vicki's birthday is today. She would have been 54. We were like sisters and she died Oct. 29 after fighting pancreatic cancer for 2 1/2 years.

I still can't believe she's gone. She was my best friend, my confidant. I miss her terribly and have dreaded the approach of today.

Happy birthday, Vicki. I'll talk to you in my prayers and memories.

Love,
Your favorite niece Shannon

lisamarie · 12-15-2004, 02:15 PM

Within the past two months, I have lost two very important women in my life. In October, my dear, sweet, loving Mom and then today, I just lost my Grandmother.

I am here to light a candle

in honor of their lives and the love they gave to me and my family

. They were amazing women

, mothers

and grandmothers

.

In their honor and memory~

Lisa

elyice · 12-27-2004, 02:51 AM

My dearest Tamika Winston died in april 2004. She was 36 weeks pregnant Baby Mariah died as well. Eclampsia snatched her life away in the night. Mika was just 28 years old. The awesome mother of two little boys. She was and will always be the best friend I have ever had. Her goodness was so unique and her spirit so pure...
She is woven into all that I am and her voice resounds within me. I adored her.
I will mourn her until I meet her again.John 5:25 “Most truly I say to YOU, The hour is coming, and it is now, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who have given heed will live. -- 28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life
please vist
www.rememberingtamika.com

asherah · 12-27-2004, 03:50 AM

Be at peace Ossian Gilbert.. Irish troubadour, charmer, story teller, friend.
Died of lung cancer 11/04.. way too young.. 52 years old.
We will remember you every time we hoist a Guinness, sit with good friends at a pub, or tear up at a great ballad.

Be at peace FIL who I never met. Died when ds was a young man.
I hear you were a great person, an honorable, fine southern gentleman.
Your son inherited your idealism. You have two beautiful grandsons.
I wish I had known you.

Lucky Charm · 12-27-2004, 08:28 AM

My beloved father passed away at the age of 54, in Aug of 99. We miss him terribly, especially my 14 yr old. My dad was very close to all my kids, but with my middle boy, things were different. He called A his best friend, his soul mate (my son was 9 when he died).

In the past 5 years, i have lost not only my dad, but my best friend (34 yrs old), and all 4 of my grandparents, two of them since this October.

So i will light candles for them.

Simple · 12-27-2004, 03:38 PM

Just over two years ago we lost our one and only child our son due to E. Coli (at two years of age) it is assumed that he contracted it in a daycare facilty, poor handwashing etc.

His Spirit is with me, standing beside me right now, watching every breath I take. He knows I miss him, he knows I love him and he also knows that we will be together someday.

I also know there is a little bit of him inside my wife right now taking care of the new one on the way, and that he says it is ok for us to love another child the way we loved him so dearly.

Rest in peace son, I'll show you how to throw a football in time.

Gerritt.