Best Parenting Advice You've Ever Received?

[Bluebird9]

So we have a worst parenting advice thread, I thought people would like to share the best or funniest in a good way parenting advice they've ever received.

[MamaChicken]

Best piece of advice? Focus more on loving and nurturing, less on what everyone else thinks is important!

[Ellien C]

I've got 2 -

From my sister: We are teaching our children how to be imperfect, not how to be perfect. So if you screw something up or don't behave well yourself, it is an excellent opportunity to model how to handle things.

From these boards: You can't really focus on "outcome-based parenting." Doing X thing to get Y results or avoid getting Y results. Because for everything thing an expert tells you to do, another expert tells you to do the opposite. All you can do is what is right, and correct and good in that moment.

[aprons_and_acorns]

I can already tell this is going to be a great thread!

[aprons_and_acorns]

I'll have to think about what's the number one best parenting advice I've received, but I'll share the quote I have taped to my refrigerator door. It's attributed to Toni Morrison.

"Children find love or not in their caregivers' faces. What expression do you wear?"

Here's the expression I try to remember to wear:

[sebandg'smama]

"This too shall pass"

[sdbeachy]

This is a Nel Noddings quote I've used more in teaching than in parenting (so far, since my son is only 6 months old), but I really like it: “Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.”

Actually, it works well in all human interactions if you replace "children" with "persons".

[triscuitsmom]

Originally Posted by sdbeachy

This is a Nel Noddings quote I've used more in teaching than in parenting (so far, since my son is only 6 months old), but I really like it: “Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.”

Actually, it works well in all human interactions if you replace "children" with "persons".

I love all of these, especially this one

Originally Posted by sebandg'smama

"This too shall pass"

This is said to me as needed by one of my dearest friends and it's good to remember.

[Birdie B.]

I'll never forget this one: "To raise your child to be a good person, you must be a good person."

I take it to mean modeling the behavior you want from your children; you can tell them something 1000 times, but actions speak far louder than words.

[shanniesue2]

After we found out about the hole in DS's heart, I was so worried about everything (him, what surgery was going to be like, how long we would be in the hospital, recovery, the fact that I couldn't plan for anything, etc etc) Anyway, I was talking to my wonderful MIL about it and she told me something that I find amazing.

She told me that when she was growing up, her mother worried about every. little. thing. And she (MIL) just decided she wasn't going to do that. She wasn't going to worry obsessively. So she told me that every time she found herself worrying about something, she would pray. She told me that she ended up worrying a lot less and praying a lot more.

(if you're not the praying type you could substitute some other calming action--like breath or meditate--for pray)

[Sierra]

"All behavior is communication."
-Judith Bluestone (neuroscientist, author of several books, and founder of the HANDLE Institute)

[mrsfussypants]

I tend to be a little paralyzed by fear that I'll screw up in this parenting business, like I'm not being AP enough or strict enough or whatever. So instead of parenting by instinct I overthink things and research and research and research instead of what's in my gut. It get ridiculous at times. So in this regard, the best advice anyone ever gave me was "Don't worry about it. If you find you did something wrong, you can always fix it later."

[momtoS]

While pregnant my friend told me...if someone offers you help take it because they only offer for a short time. With a newborn if someone asks if they can do something....think of something. After about two weeks...if you are likely the offers disappear....

[_betsy_]

She won't be 2.5 forever (courtesy of my mom)

Parent the child you have, not the child you want (these boards)

Somewhere along the way, here or in a book, I read and figured out that this idea is true (at least with DD1 and me, we tend to butt heads): The more I talk about something, the more room DD believes there is for negotiation. She was very, very young when I started saying things like "This is not up for negotiation" about things I wasn't willing to get into fights over - like car seat safety, playing in the litter box.

[MadiMamacita]

Let your monkey do it!
-Ina May Gaskin

(“It’s a short way of saying not to let your over-busy mind interfere with the ancient wisdom of your body,” she writes in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.)

She's talking about birth, specifically, but i take it as parenting advice. if it feels wrong, it probably is.

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

"This is not up for negotiation" about things I wasn't willing to get into fights over.

that too. I got "this is a non-negotiable" from my mom over my more ridiculous childhood plots.

[lifeguard]

My Mom told me that when you have a baby everybody & their sister will have an opinion or piece of advice for you. She said to nod & smile & then ignore them all & do what feels right.

[InMediasRes]

"Read your baby, not the book."

A friend told me that right before DS was born.

[vegemamato]

When my first was 6 mos or so (before I discovered AP- even though that's essentially what I was doing) my grandma said "Children are never bad. Their behaviors may be less than ideal, but that doesn't mean they're bad."

It's simple, and along the lines of what most (if not all) of us are about.. but very worthwhile, IMO

She also told me that a martini will fix anything.. but that's another thread

[Kismet_fw]

Some anthropologist or sociologist (or something) named Smith has a good quote that I take for advice:

"Those who sit at meals together are united for all social effects, those who do not eat together are aliens to one another, without fellowship in religion, and withough reciprocal social duties."

I posted it on my fridge door for a LONG time, especially when it seemed that the four members of my family never sat down to eat & talk together. They didn't complain when I started making special occasions to go out to dinner with them, just two or three of us, or all together. The "dates" continued even when the kids moved out, it keeps us doing more than just touching base by phone call every now and then.