Single/double+ mama families: father's day?

max_4477 · 06-19-2005, 12:58 PM

What do you do for father's day? I've never done anything except call Grandpa, but a single mama I know mentioned that she considers it Mother's Day II each year. A nice idea, I thought. I thought about having one be my day and one be my partner's Mother's Day, but don't like the idea of one of them being linked with Fathers (too reminiscent of "who's the man?" - blech) Anyone do anything special for you or othermama?

Kincaid · 06-19-2005, 02:05 PM

I think there is something about holidays that we don't want to miss out on. I was thinking the same thing yesterday about Fathers Day... should we do something? should my partner get fathers day and me get mothers day and divvy it up... and I came to the same conclusion as you, that it's too reminiscent of "who's the daddy?"

We decided we are totally sitting out father's day. No cards to grandpa because grandpa isn't daddy, and there is a grandparents day. When baby is older I think we'll nod to the fact that Father's Day is a holiday, a neat one, but one we don't celebrate. Kind of in the same spirit we'll talk about Yom Kippur which we won't celebrate not being Jewish. Point out what it is, what is good about it, and that it's a reflection of other people's lives. But not ours. I guess we want to send the message that it's a positive thing for others but reinforce the fact that we aren't missing out.

I do wish we could have two seperate mothers days, though. Cause we had an argument over who got to sleep in

mamajama · 06-20-2005, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kincaid

I do wish we could have two seperate mothers days, though. Cause we had an argument over who got to sleep in

:LOL That's reeeeally cute. And it gave me a chuckle too.

I just kinda skip over fathers day. My kids do know their dad but somehow he's never been around for one fathers day. I guess he's always on his summer-long vacation/roadtrips. My girlfriend and I went out for a beer though. That's gotta count for something. We even "Happy Father's Day" 'd eachother and clinked our glasses together.

Diane B · 06-20-2005, 08:28 AM

Our first father's day was this year and I always get my dad something, so this year I donated money to an organization that helps families in Guatemala (where our daughter was born.) He seemed really pleased with that. Our daughter's day care likes to do little art projects so I asked them to please have her do one for Grandpa. There are three families in her class without dads, so it wasn't a big deal.

For mother's day this year, my dear partner sat at home with Anna throwing up on her while I took my mother out to brunch with the rest of the family. So there's no where to go but up for next year!

Faerieshadow · 06-20-2005, 08:37 AM

I may be odd woman out but we celebrated "Mim Day" yesterday. DP and I discussed it while still pregnant, and her view on it was that once DS is in school and has to deal with everyone else celebrating Fathers' Day, she wanted him to be able to say he was celebrating too. I dont think we've made any connection about "Who's the man", but we did prefer to "celebrate" our roles in the family on different days. Her reasons for picking the day she did I thought were really caring of her so I'm thrilled to do it.

mamimapster · 06-20-2005, 09:56 AM

Actually This year we got to celebrate Mama's Birthday which just happened to fall on father's day, so it didn't really hit the radar. Not all of the kids in DD's daycare have dads either, so there wasn't any pressure in the way of school to deal with yet. Our dd does have two Grandpas so we went over to see Grandpa Billy on Sat, and had a Video conference with our DD's other Grandpa sunday morning (as well as sending the required Kid decorated card). Were very lucky to have to involved and loving grandpas in our DD's life, so I figure celebrating them a little extra can't possibly be a bad thing. For us Mama's day is a day where we try to take turns doing nice things for each other. I do have to confess though that I was the one who got to sleep in last Mothers day :LOL

Medusa · 06-20-2005, 12:57 PM

We spend fathers day with my dad. Which honestly wouldn't be my first choice, but i'm not going to get into a huge fight with my parents about it. My little family doesn't have a "father" so in the end it isn't our holiday. In the past we've spent fathered day with another single mother family, went out had fun and just sort of glossed over what day it is.
Do do gotta say, as a single mom and I feel like my son and I get roped into a lot of holiday cook outs and dinners because we're not a "real family" KWIM?

:

A&L+1 · 06-20-2005, 02:12 PM

We went out for the day with another two mom family. We also sent cards to our daughter's Grandpas, an uncle (because he's a local male role-model) and to our best gay friends who have named themselves as my daughter's "fairy godfathers". I hope that we can treat Father's Day as no big deal, but I hope my daughter gets fathered by a LOT of people. We try to acknowledge that.