Paying Children Money for Chores

Naomi Aldort

What do you think about kids earning money by doing things in and around the house? I read many families do that like giving 0.10$ to 0.25$ daily to brush teeth, make there beds, clean play room, etc. Some other will pay more to do the laundry, cutting the grass, washing the dishes, clean the car, help on the farm, help to do renovation or construction, help in parent business, etc.

Do you think its ok to do this or it leads kids to never want to help and expect money in exchange of doing anything? Can it destroy the natural willingness to help there parents?

Is there some things we could pay for and some others not? Could we choose specific things that we would pay for and for the rest just continuing asking for services and help for free and letting them free to refuse helping (like I actually do right now, I ask help if they want they join me, if they don't want its ok and I respect that not showing any more love in exchange than the normal love I give).

Is there a balance we can find to be able to give them the opportunity to earn money while working to get it?

Thank you so much, I recommend your book to everyone I know, it is so eye opening and heart touching!

Dear Parent,

Be authentic: Are you paid to brush your teeth? Are you paid to wipe the counter, drive, do laundry? Until you are, why should another family member be paid to serve themselves in their own family?

If you don’t want to teach your children that nothing is worth doing without an external reward, I do not recommend paying children to care for themselves and to participate in self-care as a family. If they are too young to feel ownership and belonging, it may be too soon to ask them.

As for business, as teenagers, two of my children often edited my writing happily, but when I asked one of them to do secretarial work in my office, I paid him for his time. He was seventeen. Likewise, my husband hired our oldest to do electrical work in other people’s home and paid him for his time.

Asking children to help you before they have the authentic desire to do so is not productive either. They learn to refuse and feel comfortable refusing most of the time.

Again, be authentic. If you are asking them to help so they learn to do chores, you are no being authentic and they will learn about manipulation more than about participation. If you are asking for their help because you need it, then say so and they will most likely help you and feel useful.

For more on chores and on money and children, read the two articles on these themes in Life Learning Magazine.

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Paying Children Money for Chores

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