Father's Day Link Round-Up, Part Two

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Jeremy Adam Smith

Author and journalist Jeremy Adam Smith tackles diapers, paternal leave, preschool, and more with the eye of an expert and the heart of a dad.

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President Obama Speaks to Dads About Fatherhood:  "Just because your own father wasn’t there for you, that’s not an excuse for you to be absent also -- it’s all the more reason for you to be present. There’s no rule that says that you have to repeat your father’s mistakes. Just the opposite -- you have an obligation to break the cycle and to learn from those mistakes, and to rise up where your own fathers fell short and to do better than they did with your own children."

Mother, May I? Helping Moms Back Off So That Dads can be Dads: "Negative gatekeeping by mothers -- grimaces or criticism when men try to change a diaper or feed or play with a baby -- can block out even fathers who believe they should be involved, says a 2008 study in the Journal of Family Psychology... Gatekeeping can be positive, too: When mothers encourage dads, the men tend to shoulder more child care."

A Father's Day Assessment of Recession-Era Dads: "By now, pretty much everyone, their brother, and their mother have weighed in on how the recession is—and isn't—shaking up gender relations here at home. Journalists and researchers alike have questioned whether the downturn might change the balance of power and responsibility for good. They've offered bold pronouncements: Yes. And, well, no. They've dug up real-life tales of men and women for whom layoffs have hit hard, trotting outsagas of lost men and bitter wives one day and forecasts of a revolution in parenthood the next. I've followed the research and soaked up the reporting. I've got just one more story to add to the pile: my own."

Princess Parenting: "Are you a princess parent? Does your baby girl have more princess paraphernalia than you can fit in your mini van? As a parent, it’s nearly impossible to avoid the inevitable onslaught of princess culture."

Devoted Dad key to reducing risky teen sex: "The more attentive the dad — and the more he knows about his teenage child's friends — the bigger the impact on the teen's sexual behavior, the researchers found. While an involved mother can also help stave off a teen’s sexual activity, dads have twice the influence."

Raising Hell: For ella, my daughter, who asks why?: "I want to call on fathers everywhere to make a commitment to all youth and not just their 'own.'"

Links related to the release of my book, The Daddy Shift:

Daddy on Board: "I would like to say that there's this revolutionary movement of fathers who are going to take back fatherhood and change the face of public policy. But social change happens in stages, and I think where we're at is in the consciousness-raising stage... The logical way to close off this stage is to begin asking ourselves: How can we get public policies that will support our role as caregivers? How can we get paternity leave, which only one in 10 men have access to? How can we get flextime?"

Defining the Daddy Track: "The United States has never had a situation where so many mothers worked and so many fathers were capable of taking on caregiving work. People have a new image in their minds of what a good mother is and what a good father is, and that's a strength people are bringing into this economic crisis."

Why Working Mothers (Sometimes) Envy Stay-at-Home Dads: "Many career-oriented women marry men who become primary caregivers, and they are extremely happy with the arrangement. What’s their secret? In an age when gender roles are open to negotiation, the first trick, I found, is to identify what you want and find a partner who knows what he or she wants, bargain openly for roles as changes like parenthood loom, and clearly identify what strengths each partner brings to the table."

New Dad-itude: Today's fathers are hands-on, pressure off: "Compared with pressure that many moms say they feel, 'the bar is set pretty low for father involvement and father engagement,' says Jeff Cookston, an assistant professor of psychology who studies fatherhood at San Francisco State University. He calls the current group of younger dads a 'pilot generation' because they're trying to figure out the transition from dad as a breadwinner to the hands-on pop who doesn't shirk from diaper changes or carpool runs."

Father's Day Recommended Reading: "It's an empirical fact that fathers are comparatively rare in children's books — when economist David A. Anderson and psychologist Mykol Hamilton studied 200 children's books in 2005, they found that fathers appeared about half as often as mothers. Mothers were ten times more likely to be depicted taking care of babies than fathers and twice as likely to be seen nurturing older children. No surprise there, of course. Moms are still the ones most likely to be taking care of kids. But where does that leave families who don't fit the traditional mold? And how does that help parents who want to provide caring role models to their sons?"



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