I wish I wasn't so embaressed - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 90 Old 09-01-2010, 02:34 AM
 
KMK_Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunamegn View Post
Tom's only makes my smell worse.
Tom's makes me smell FOUL!! After reading this thread now I know it's not uncommon!

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
KMK_Mama is offline  
#62 of 90 Old 09-01-2010, 08:36 AM
 
The4OfUs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 5,102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by riversmommy View Post
I like patchouli and coffee smell together! Maybe I'm in the minority, but ain't that why we are on MDC anyway?
If patchouli is one of the reasons we're here, I'mma have to turn in my card. Smell is such a subjective thing.

Natural =/= good to everyone, especially in matters of the 5 senses; and this is coming from a woman who just MADE her own deodorant, toothpaste, and shampoo using no EO fragrances, just natural ingredients....so I'm not a poster child for Johnson & Johnson. I just - I am not a fan of natural heavy, musky scents any more than I am of manmade scents. I find a lot of natural scents to be heavy and musky/spicy, kind of 'hot' smelling, and I am not a fan AT ALL.

And as others have said, I take exception to the idea that a person's 'natural odor' is how we're "supposed" to smell - since ancient recorded civilizations have existed, we have been using products to make ourselves more appealing/less offensive to others. And I mean "offensive" as in, "I can't be around that smell", not "You're a horrible person" - 'smelling bad' has zero correlation to your worth as a human being. Scent can often make people sick, and that's not something you have a lot of control over, it's pretty involuntary to be made queasy/get a headache from a scent, it just happens.

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
The4OfUs is offline  
#63 of 90 Old 09-04-2010, 07:52 AM
 
Ethelpea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: NE OHIO
Posts: 275
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I use coconut oil mixed with patchouli oil daily on my pits, after washing them, as my deodorant and I have no odor (except for the coconut/patchouli blend). It works great and is still working even at the end of a very long day.

Mother to 6

12, 11, 9, 6, 3, 1

Pray, Hope and Don't Worry

Ethelpea is offline  
#64 of 90 Old 10-06-2010, 01:22 PM
 
sosurreal09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(((hus))) what a jerk. they sent you home?!?! come on...

i dont like using product, hoevwer i have funky BO and am aware of this....DH thinks i smell "sexy" lol but i know the general public will be "offended" by me natural smell...so i suck it up and wear Tom's of Maine natural deoderant in lavender.

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

sosurreal09 is offline  
#65 of 90 Old 10-07-2010, 07:31 PM
 
Mulvah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I lived with someone for a year (or more?), but I could not handle her scent. It was her natural odor and honestly, it just was not a pleasant smell to me. Smell is very subjective.
Mulvah is offline  
#66 of 90 Old 10-07-2010, 07:43 PM
 
Queen of Cups's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: super-crunchy-town, VA
Posts: 2,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Out of curiosity, how could a boss handle this subject without embarrassing an employee? I think pulling you aside, explaining there have been complaints, and asking you to leave until you found a remedy for the situation was absolutely appropriate. I just don't think there's a way to explain to an employee that their smell is offensive without embarrassing them. A boss who would loudy shame an employee in front of customers or other employees would be a different story, or a boss that just fired someone without giving them the chance to fix the problem would be inappropriate.

I wear unscented anti-persperant. I know its not popular in crunch circles, but I have never, ever ready any studies that actually link anti-persperant to any negative effects. If anyone can direct me to a peer-reviewed published study, I'd love to see it!
Alenushka likes this.

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
Queen of Cups is offline  
#67 of 90 Old 10-11-2010, 10:49 AM
 
sosurreal09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well i dont use antipersperant b/c i cant find any aluminum free ones but i use deoderant so i dont smell bad. yes he did it in an appropriate way but nonetheless i didnt know you could be sent home for smelling....

 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

sosurreal09 is offline  
#68 of 90 Old 10-11-2010, 12:03 PM
 
StrongBeliever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest MO
Posts: 712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For the record, I would have quit as well. I would not have compromised on my stance as to what I am free to do with my body. Go you, OP! That being said, it sucks that society as it stands is so adverse to "natural" and so absolutely hung up smelling fake. I am really smelly... Like super gross my self out funky sometimes. I know in my case it caused by toxin build up... After supplementing a certain combo of nutrients for a while, the smell went away. I would still smell sweaty, but not nasty. Of course it is back, I am preggo and hard-core detoxing is a no-no... But I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I DO think that people can smell nasty when going au naturel. I don't think smelling perceivably yucky is a natural state that we are supposed to smell like... I think that due to environmental exposure to nastiness(chemicals in our daily life, food, chemicals our mothers were exposed to while pregnant ect) are at the root of why people smell grody. There will be some that are less toxic=less stinky and more toxic=more stinky. Do I think that makes it okay to be rude and call them out for it? NO! Would pull someone aside and tell them to go home because they have cancer? It's kinda the same thing... no one asks to smell funky, no one asks to get cancer... It can't be helped. Impeccable hygiene and all the deodorant in the world aren't going to help someone who is toxic and excreting junk that makes them smell.

I occasionally use JASON brand in the Lavender scent. Alcohol works wonders. Witch hazel helps. But nothing truly gets rid of my "natural odor". Commercial/conventional antiperspirants and deodorants make me smell outright DISGUSTING. Putting toxins on top of toxins can't help. In fact, before starting my detox regimen but after stopping with conventional ap/do the level of my noxious stink went down. I stopped using conventional ap/do for my health(breast cancer in the family, not worth the risk to me) and I really think just based on how I was gag worthy while using it but less-so after stopping was enough proof that it was a good idea. I would NEVER start using it again just to fit in with the norm.

For the record, I would like to say that synthetic, overpowering, all encompassing fakey "good smells" make me physically ill. I would complain about that before I would BO. Of course, if hygiene seemed to be the source of the BO I would complain about that too. I don't want someone with organic filth making my food anymore than I want someone with flowery smelling synthetic filth making my food. Honestly, I think it is really sad that it is okay to gang up on the natural crowd who choose not to douse themselves in chemical substances, just because most everyone else chooses to do so. It seems to me like that was probably the case with the OP... Her female co-workers who couldn't get right with her being different decided to get catty. Not cool.

So I've got some funk sometimes... Big deal. I just warn people who I work with that I am "all natural" and might occasionally be a little off. I CAN notice when I get "strong" and that gives me room to say "whoa nelly, can you excuse me while I run and fix that?". That way THEY understand that I WON'T be folding under scrutiny but I WILL be taking care of anything that might potentially be offensive. It works.
StrongBeliever is offline  
#69 of 90 Old 10-14-2010, 12:07 PM
 
hram's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Where the navy sends us
Posts: 267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongBeliever View Post
Would pull someone aside and tell them to go home because they have cancer? It's kinda the same thing... no one asks to smell funky, no one asks to get cancer... It can't be helped.
As someone who has lost quite a few family members to cancer and having my mother and grand mother survive cancer, I find this totally offensive and disrespectful.
If you pits stink, you can go in the bathroom and wash them with soap and water. You cant say, "let me run in the bathroom and take care of this cancer" They are not compareable at all. Im quite surprised anyone would say something like that.
hram is offline  
#70 of 90 Old 10-14-2010, 01:07 PM
 
puddle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 910
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You seem happy with your current regimen, but just in case you find yourself in another situation where you do feel the need to prevent your natural odor, I thought I'd throw one more deodorant alternative out there. I use Milk of Magnesia, and it works great. I just pour some in a tiny spray bottle and give my pits a few squirts, and there is no odor or fragrance of any kind. Another bonus is that the skin absorbs some magnesium, and most of us are magnesium deficient.

Good luck to you and I hope things work out the way you want them to careerwise!
puddle is offline  
#71 of 90 Old 10-15-2010, 09:38 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A bit of baking soda with or without tea tree oil is useful. I don't use deo if I am staying home,but I will if I am going in public because I don't want to smell offensive. I found some natural deos that work well enough. I don't like all that body spray and perfume or chemical anti-pers.Gives me a headache when someone all sprayed up passes by,but a stinky person will make my head pound as well. I just move away if I can.

Best wishes whatever you decide to do!
mattemma04 is offline  
#72 of 90 Old 10-17-2010, 07:56 PM
 
StrongBeliever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest MO
Posts: 712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hram View Post
As someone who has lost quite a few family members to cancer and having my mother and grand mother survive cancer, I find this totally offensive and disrespectful.
If you pits stink, you can go in the bathroom and wash them with soap and water. You cant say, "let me run in the bathroom and take care of this cancer" They are not compareable at all. Im quite surprised anyone would say something like that.
I have also lost dearly loved family to cancer. I am sorry you felt offended. I certainly did not intend it to be. I don't take it lightly. I also don't take lightly discriminating against people for things that can't be helped. I was trying to illustrate how futile it is to ostracize people for body odor, when it is often just as uncontrollable as any other illness. Sure, the world at large thinks that washing and slapping on some chemicals is going to take care of BO, but that just isn't the case for everyone. Same as it isn't the case that just anyone can undo a disease to make others around them more comfortable. If it were as easy as soap and a little antibacterial action, we'd not have this thread.

When strong body odor is caused by toxic build up in our bodies from chemicals we didn't know we were coming in contact with, couldn't help coming in contact with, then what makes people who suffer from BO any less deserving of sensitivity than people with cancer or any other disease they didn't ask for? Cancer is often caused by environmental factors, therefore my reference. Sure, smelling bad won't kill you(though I can't say that for the chemical overload making you smell), but judging by this thread it can be crippling... Emotionally, socially. I am sure there are probably some cases where people where picked on for it and possibly committed suicide. Is that any less tragic? Let me tell you, if washing my stinky pits and putting on deodorant were all that was needed to control MY chemical induced BO, the world would be a happier place for me. I find it offensive and disrespectful that there are people out there who assume those of us that suffer from this must be dirty and expect us to douse ourselves in toxic chemicals in order to fit in.

Like I said, I am sorry you missed my deeper point, for many reasons.
StrongBeliever is offline  
#73 of 90 Old 10-17-2010, 09:33 PM
 
justmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: beginning anew
Posts: 5,821
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
I might be unpopular here but I really would be grossed out by someone who smelled strongly of natural body odor if they were serving me food. I know that it's irrational but if someone smells strongly of body odor, that equals "unwashed" in my brain. And unwashed arm pits might equal unwashed hands serving me something I'm putting in my mouth. I realize that may seem irrational but it's how I feel and I guarantee you it's how a lot of your mainstream customers would feel. I'm sorry you felt embarrassed and upset and singled out by your boss and I bet I would feel the exact same way. I am all for natural ways of dealing with body odor but I personally would go to normal deodorants/antiperspirants if the natural methods didn't work. And obviously the method you are working with right now isn't working. I think you need to work on something else. I'm sorry. s

treehugger.gifjog.gifgreenthumb.gifknit.gifnamaste.gif

justmama is offline  
#74 of 90 Old 10-21-2010, 06:11 PM
 
Naturalyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 721
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
I have been the manager that has to tell someone that people are complaining about their - body odor, patchouli oil, smoke lingering on their clothes, strong perfume, etc. It is not fun. There is no nice way to do it, the best you can do is not do it in front of other people and get it over as quickly as possible.

What smells good or even acceptable is different to different people. You keep saying that you while you do have A smell, it is not a BAD smell - but in the same posts you complain about things other people find good-smelling that you dislike so clearly it is all subjective.

In my experience, people complain about body odor and body product odor equally which is why a lot of service jobs (retail, food) have details about fragrance in their dress codes now.
Been there too ... there is no gentle way to make the point.

Smell is a big part of taste. Many food and beverage establishments take the position of no perfume, no body odor. When I ran a small catering business, I was very strict with servers about 'no perfume' and no smoking on breaks. If I could smell it, so could the customer - and, I wanted the customer to smell and taste my food, not my server.

I'd respectfully echo the suggestion that if several co-workers are smelling you, it's likely your odor was stronger than freshly washed body odor.

You have many options beyond quitting. And, unless you intend to work from home or with like-minded people, the issue may not disappear with this job. I think it is worthwhile note your boss didn't fire you. He could have fired your without a discussion about body odor, avoiding what-I'm-sure was his own discomfort in the conversation. Obviously, he values your contribution.

Not only are there many unscented products (and homemade formulas) to consider, you may consider washing mid-day - those parts that sweat. My natural, unscented deodorant doesn't always carry me through a full day during the summer. So, I carry a washcloth and underarms get an extra cleaning, with mild soap and water, mid-day during summer months.

In an interview with Oprah, either Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock (I forget which lady) mentioned she doesn't wear deodorant and, instead, washes her underarms periodically during the day.

A couple of years ago, I posted after an incident where I smelled something foul and blamed it on everything else ... until I realized it was me! I had tried going without deodorant for a couple or weeks and thought the experiment was going well. But, the experience made me wonder how many times before I had smelled offensive without realizing - appreciating that it is hard to judge one's own odor.

Whatever you decide,
Naturalyst is offline  
#75 of 90 Old 10-27-2010, 08:34 PM
 
A_Random_Phrase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So many replies; not sure if this was mentioned, but I just got through reading a thread that said milk of magnesia works well and doesn't add its own smell. So, if you used it, you'd still be natural.
http://mothering.com/discussions/sho....php?t=1268039
A_Random_Phrase is offline  
#76 of 90 Old 11-01-2010, 01:02 PM
 
Carma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 910
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apricot View Post

I do think some people confuse patchouli and BO smell. That's a problem if you use patchouli for cover.
Posted via Mobile Device
That's also what I think. It might have been the Patchouli smell.

Carma
Carma is offline  
#77 of 90 Old 11-01-2010, 03:30 PM
 
Denvergirlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Foothills west of Denver
Posts: 2,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
That's also what I think. It might have been the Patchouli smell.

Carma
I would concur, Patchouli is one of the most revolting scents I have come across over the years.

True story, we had a choice between a cabin that had a lot of patchouli incense burned in it, or one that had been sprayed by a shunk a few years before.
We took the shunk smelling cabin over the patchouli smelling one.

Perhaps the OP can try a different scent that wouldn't been as strong and polarizing as patchouli.
Denvergirlie is offline  
#78 of 90 Old 12-15-2010, 08:28 PM
 
ThreeJane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northern Idaho
Posts: 181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm going to have to agree that while I *love* patchouli, for some reason LOTS of people find it offensive.  Most of them comment by asking if I'm wearing patchouli, and then tell me they hate it.  (Really?  I don't even know you!)

 

For whatever reason, patchouli is definitely a polarizer.

 

Sorry for the embarrassment, it may be that you don't smell at all, but people are mistaking the patchouli for offensive odor, as one PP noted.

A_Random_Phrase likes this.
ThreeJane is offline  
#79 of 90 Old 12-15-2010, 09:36 PM
 
Jade's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Be careful with Toms of Maine and Jason. They use synthetic ingredients.  I've used Miessence Aroma free deodorant and been happy with it.  It's all natural and helps control bacteria but doesn't add any aroma...synthetic or otherwise.  It only has 4 ingredients.  

 

I haven't read all of the responses so I apologize if someone already covered this but it could be that your bacteria balance is off.  If your ratios are where they should be, many people find their odor issues go away. Just be aware not all probiotics on the market are created the same.  In fact, many are pretty poor quality.  I can help you with that, and with the deodorant if you need.

 

Best of luck!


treehugger.gif
Jade's Mom is offline  
#80 of 90 Old 12-26-2010, 03:10 AM
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

so much patchouli hate on here! dang .... i LOOOVE patchouli. the oil (well, any oil like that) can be strong -- so I have often put it in my sandals, or maybe behind the knee. hee. anecdote: i had seven weeks of daily vomiting in my the first trimester of my current pregnancy. i was sooo sensitive to bad smells, and everything smelled AWFUL (and would trigger waves of nausea and vomiting) .... thank goodness for the bottle of patchouli oil next to my bed. it was the only thing that smelled good for weeks!

 

i think deodorant and chemically perfumes are nasty! goes to show how subjective smells are, i guess. i much prefer a normal, healthy, clean body smell.

 

congrats on getting out of that job! 


hi!

homestyle is offline  
#81 of 90 Old 12-26-2010, 03:52 AM
 
sublimeliving's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 109
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think it was a rude to send you home. Did he pay you for the day? Um, I'm a pretty conservative looking, 40ish, suburban mom, and I would not be offended by someone's natural smell (BO or otherwise). He might of said people complained to give an excuse. I would forget what happened, and tell him if he wants to send you home again, he will have to pay you for the day. If he wants to fire you, he will have to pay for unemployment. And, if he wants to discuss your body again, he needs to have someone else present. I'm sure he was smelling the patchouli oil, and wasn't familiar w/ the smell. I think you would know if you had BO.  Ugh, this makes me mad. : ( 

 

A_Random_Phrase likes this.
sublimeliving is offline  
#82 of 90 Old 12-30-2010, 09:40 PM
 
A_Random_Phrase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This thread reminds me of when I was a very little child. I could smell my mother and my oldest sister. I mentioned that to someone (within the last ten or so years) and they started mocking my mother and sister, saying they had b.o. That really hurt because I knew it wasn't true. My mother and sister were clean. That keen sense of smell disappeared as I grew older, but people really do have odors that have nothing to do with stink. (I liked the smell of my mother and sister; it made me feel secure.)

 

 

This thread in a nutshell:
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post

Odor is such a subjective thing -- what smells natural to you might smell really strong to someone else, many people don't like synthetic fragrances, many people don't like patchouli, etc. That more than one person noted your body odor that day tells me that maybe something else was going on. Do you have to wear a work shirt made out of synthetic fibers? Are you coming up on PMS week or in your cycle? Are you maybe coming down with something gastrointestinal, or a virus?

I've noticed that my odor changes a lot when I'm getting sick or when I'm getting my cycle. When I'm getting my cycle, it just gets stronger but isn't "bad," persay. When I'm getting sick, my body odor is just bad. But because it's me, I don't notice it as soon as other people might. I think this is true of most people. Your odor will change gradually, so your nose adjusts up to a certain point, but someone coming into your space for the first time will get hit with it all at once -- big difference!

I'd avoid strong-smelling cover-ups like patchouli, because a lot of people aren't fond of that scent, and it really doesn't mix with body odor (or coffee) very well. Something more neutral would probably work better, especially if you have to wear a synthetic fiber work shirt, since those hold odor so badly, and people tend to sweat a lot more when wearing something like that. There are deodorant brands that don't have a lot of crap in them, like Jason and Tom's of Maine. A deodorant crystal or Thai deodorant would be another good alternative, depending on your body chemistry. If you're really opposed to putting anything on your armpits, you may need to find a way to do a quick swipe with a wet washcloth every hour or so while at work.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post

Thanks Earthmama. I was wearing a synthetic shirt yesterday which could have added to my smell. That is probably what it was.

I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.

Nonetheless, I will try to temper my smell but not try to cover it up completly. I also will be quiting my job because of how embarressed I am and the fact that I feel hurt by my boss.

No customers complained, it was some employees. And even before this insident happend I was aware of one employee who was very rude to me (maybe because I smelled But I doubt it.)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie Mac View Post

Personally, I would rather smell a person than some awful synthetic smell. Really, as long as people wash regularly, I don't see much of a problem. I know this is not the cultural norm though. Patchouli...I might avoid that. It's maybe not synthetic but it can still cause reactions in people and it's not really to everyone's liking, especially near food.

I don't have much else to add to what the other posters said, other to chime in my support for no deodorant. Also, reading that it was other employees reminds me of a job I had once in a large retail store. I had just returned from a year in Central America, was experiencing a bit of reverse culture shock & didn't have much money to spend, but I dressed appropriately...black pants, toed shoes (after a year in sandals), etc and did my job well. I found out from a friend whose gf I worked with that some employees had said I would "fit in better" if I just got a different pair of shoes that were more like theirs. Yeah. Like I wanted to fit in with people like that

 

A_Random_Phrase is offline  
#83 of 90 Old 01-06-2011, 04:53 PM
 
kriket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 4,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I have had to send people home before for smelling. I've sent old ladies home for being too fake smelling as well as people who smelled like B.O.  I'm not sure what other way the manager could have done it. My canned speech was "I have noticed a smell of B.O. / strong perfume and I am worried it will affect your interactions customers and other employees, I am going to give you an opportunity to take the day off to address this, see you tomorrow!"

 

on a personal nose note, I feel like patchouli, sandelwood and cedar smell like B.O. I have know too many people who think it will just cover up their smell, and not it's ruined. Something fresher like citrus, or floral (no suggestions here, I am a cirtus person myself)

 

I agree with PPs synthetic material will make me smell HORRIBLE in like an hour. I would smell less if I wore a fitted cotton undershirt.


I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
Mama to Sprout jog.gif 4.09 and Bruises babyboy.gif 7.11 handfasted to superhero.gif 9.07

kriket is offline  
#84 of 90 Old 12-12-2011, 10:37 AM
 
RoseisRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 79
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Just found this thread doing a search on BO...

I do not use deoderant either and I shower maybe three times weekly. I have recently had to have the deoderant convo with my pre-pubescent DD...she is starting to have BO and is really only aware of it because of her bio-dad's mother being a person who is super obsessed with "clean": shower daily, sometimes twice, scrub your womonly bits with soap, wear deoderized clothes over your scented lotioned body with deoderant and a spray of perfume....

 

That is not hwo we live. I bath my kiddos a couple of times a week, but teach them to wash their faces and parts when they wake in the morning so they stay and feel clean and fresh. We don't cover up with scents and perfumes and I don't use chemically laundry detergent (make my own or use Mrs. Meyers.)

 

So DD asked me to buy her deoderant after I threw away the Dove crap her dad bought for her. I got her some organic something or another at the co-op and told her that if she feels the need, then that is up to her, but she shouldn't let anyone dictate to her what she should smell like: so long as she is clean, it's not up to anyone else.

 

She brings the deoderant to school with her to wear after PE...that's about the only time she wears it and she is fine with her odor...and the hair growing on her body (which she has been told she HAS to shave off...grumble....)

 

So OP, I am sorry you went through that. I know how hard it must have been for you.

 

I will say that there is but one person on this planet who I have smelled patchouli on and loved...and he is still the only person I know of who can wear it and it doesn't smell like dirt. No, I am not romantically linked to him either ;-) use to be though :-D


lady.gifLady to my Fellaheartbeat.gif fuzmalesling.gif, knit.gifMama to my Babies: babygirl.gifDD-10 (Hospital), babygirl.gifDD-7 (UC), babyboy.gifDS-4 (UC), babyboy.gifDS-newborn 9/2/12 (UC)

 

RoseisRose is offline  
#85 of 90 Old 12-13-2011, 02:06 AM
 
flyrabbitfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Seoul, Korea
Posts: 152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What an awkward situation for you!

My two cents: the synthetic shirt didn't help,

and: have you changed your diet recently?

I'm vegetarian, but have gone through a few vegan episodes. One thing I noticed when my diet was vegan (mostly rice/beans/raw veggies) was I totally had no body odor whatsoever. You could bury your nose in my pits two hours after I went running and get nada. Now I eat a lot of sugar (can't get off the chocolate!) and I have to do SOMETHING especially in summertime. What works SUPER well for me is a baking soda paste, either mixed with water or some kind of oil you like, like jojoba oil is what I use, keep it in a jar. Easy, cheap, no deoderant, no chemicals, no smell, everyone is happy.

All of that said, it would be nice if we lived in a culture where people could be people and not barbie dolls...

If you don't want to quit and you can manage it, I would try to make light of it with the boss, to make you both feel comfortable again. "So, boss, do I smell ok today?" smiling a little. He will laugh, probably be embarassed for harrassing you, and communication channels will be open for both of you.

Good luck!


"That's the way it is, if that's the way it seems to you."

"Cosi e se vi pare."

Luigi Pirandello

flyrabbitfly is offline  
#86 of 90 Old 12-15-2011, 05:17 PM
 
mamayogibear's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,056
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Your boss is an a**. I too have been told I stink at work (when I was a bartender) for smelling like patchouli. I had showered and used the crystal deodorant and then put on a couple of drops of patchouli oil. So after that I would use a more mild oil like lavender, jasmine or vanilla. Another poster suggested sandal wood which I agree would be a great smell with coffee. Right now I use coconut oil with a little cornstarch or baking soda (only occassionally or the bs causes a rash) or if I'm wearing dark clothes bentonite clay. *hugs* hopefully you don't quit and can get a good enough reference from this boss to get a job at a crunchier coffee shop if they have those in your town:)


be good family...

mamayogibear is offline  
#87 of 90 Old 12-16-2011, 05:36 AM
 
branditopolis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

my mother is obsessed with clean.  if i'm doing laundry, she'll come by and throw a ton of fabric softener in the load.  she complains that i only bathe my 12wk old ds (who has eczema) every 3 or 4 days.  she buys me smelly lotions that sit in the back of the bathroom cabinets.  i think... our culture is pretty screwy about being obessively "clean".  having a smell doesn't mean you're not clean.  your body secretes your own oils, it happens. The way it was described, it sounds more like her coworkers were more offended by someone different than someone offensively smelly.  It's totally rude the way some of these people commented, especially the garbage comment.  I totally know what your talking about when you say you have your own body smell... it's like, the smell from your skin.  it's not BO or sweat or anything, it's just the oils on your skin.  I say, if you can love your scent, rock it, man.


knit.gifmama to  thumbsuck.gif (09/11)

branditopolis is offline  
#88 of 90 Old 01-22-2012, 06:21 PM
 
ZippyGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Wandering, but not lost (yet!)
Posts: 719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Vanessa, I am so sorry about what happened!!!!   Two words:  Funk Butter.  It works so unbelievably well, but it does irritate my skin if I use it daily.  And I am usually in the camp of those who get major stinky when wearing deoderant.  But not with Funk Butter!

 

I am TOTALLY with those who would rather smell natural body odor than chemical fragrances.  I just can't take it anymore.  Bounce dryer sheets and laundry detergent fragrances are the biggest offenders to me.  I wish there was some way to ban the stuff.  It just makes me ill.  Plus it's not good for the person surrounding themselves with it.  Is there anything that can be done to rid the world of dryer sheets!??!?

 

(That said, I am also not a fan of patchouli.  It is so strong.  Waft me up some lavender or tangerine oil, and I'm just fine.)

 

ZippyGirl is offline  
#89 of 90 Old 01-22-2012, 06:29 PM
 
Alenushka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 1,893
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Natural body odor is BO. I am sorry but it is gross. When someone is serving coffee and food to me I do not want to smell their body odor, hair smell, aftershave, perfume or patchouli oil.. I want to smell nothing. There is unscented deodorant  anti-perperant and unscented soaps.  Take shower before work with some normal soap , use some unscented deodorant and you will not be embarrassed again.

 

If you works in a mainstream place, you have to comply with mainstream norms.

Alenushka is offline  
#90 of 90 Old 01-23-2012, 12:18 AM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 9,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

What is your motivation for posting?  This thread is almost a year and a half old. 


Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
Reply

Tags
Natural Body Care

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off