I wish I wasn't so embaressed - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 01:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
Auroara Bobcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello, I am new to this forum and I thought that this would be a good place to discuss what happened to me today.


I recently started a new job and today was my 3rd day, it is at coffe shop and roastery. My (male) boss pretty much draged me away (politley) from the rush that we were having and brought me to the back room and said "I don't know if you are aware of this or not but you have a body odor." I was so taken aback, it had never occured to me that I had "body odor," even though I am keenly aware that I DO have a natural body smell, kwim? Nobody has ever said anything about my smell (other then compliments) before.

I do not wear deoderant, I think that it is gross and I have never liked it, plus I didn't think that I smelled foul. However, I do wear cedar or patchouli oil ever so often.

He said that a couple of people complained! So, he sent me home and I was pretty embaressed

So here is what I think; I do have a body smell, it really isn't aweful but I think that people are so use to not smelling a normal body and they noticed mine and they thought that is was a sign of me being dirty or something.

Has anyone else ever experienced this before? Do you have your own smell that you don't try to overtly cover up? What would you do in this situation?

Thanks for the time.

Vanessa, human of many awesome and not so awesome qualities. ; married to my Scorpio
mama to Ayden 6 years and Gena born 9/16/09
Auroara Bobcat is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 01:39 AM
 
JudiAU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I am sorry you were embarrassed

Frankly, I don't think natural body odor is acceptable in a service profession in the US. I might not have complained but I would not have appreciated it all. Especially, mixed with patchouli. Double yuck. Simply put no one wants to smell you.

I struggle the issue with myself because a lot of things react with my skin and create a worse odor than natural smells. I find something simple like toms of Maine unscented deodorant to work well. No chemicals. Just helps bacteria from multiplying and stink from developing.

If you don't make a change you will probably lose your job. Not sure your age and previous job history but I think it would be an issue in most employment. And this isn't going to be a protected issue so any employment can easily fire you over it.
swede likes this.
JudiAU is offline  
#3 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:01 AM
 
~Demeter~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern Illinois
Posts: 5,009
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've actually found wearing deodorant makes me smell worse... and I think it is rather insulting to say that no one wants to smell someone. I think your boss tried to be tactful but totally failed. What I do when I need to... I wash up right before I need to be somewhere, you can dust corn starch under your armpits and a bit of baking soda might help with any odors. You do not need to wear deodorant though... if you don't want to. The more stuff you put under your arms, the more your body will purge it and the more you will stink. It's a huge vicious cycle. Also, if it's warm where you are located, that can amplify natural odors... I know I tend to be a bit stronger smelling in the summer, hormones also have an effect on my body odor. I am sorry you were embarrassed, I wish I had better advice... like use it as an opportunity to teach about the dangers of deodorant or the benefits to natural body odor.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

~Demeter~ is offline  
#4 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
Auroara Bobcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have had other service industry jobs and I have never had this problem before.......

I understand that in the USA people are obsessed with being overty clean and perfect. And people are always in denial of the fact that they are essentially animals that have natural occurances such as body odor, hair on their bodies, oily hair, acne, ect....

I don't appreciate smelling synthetic fragrances AT ALL and it is everywhere I go. I seriously hold my breath if I walk by someone who has a fake smelling anything on.

I am honeslty thinking about quiting my job because I think that this might have been blown out of proportion, even though I totally understand that there are certain codes to abide by while working with the "civilized people."

Vanessa, human of many awesome and not so awesome qualities. ; married to my Scorpio
mama to Ayden 6 years and Gena born 9/16/09
Auroara Bobcat is offline  
#5 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:04 AM
 
~Demeter~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern Illinois
Posts: 5,009
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
I have had other service industry jobs and I have never had this problem before.......

I understand that in the USA people are obsessed with being overty clean and perfect. And people are always in denial of the fact that they are essentially animals that have natural occurances such as body odor, hair on their bodies, oily hair, acne, ect....

I don't appreciate smelling synthetic fragrances AT ALL and it is everywhere I go. I seriously hold my breath if I walk by someone who has a fake smelling anything on.


I am honeslty thinking about quiting my job because I think that this might have been blown out of proportion, even though I totally understand that there are certain codes to abide by while working with the "civilized people."
I feel very similarly to the bolded...


Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

~Demeter~ is offline  
#6 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
Auroara Bobcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks Demeter for your sensitive reply. I will try your suggestions for future outings I have.

Vanessa, human of many awesome and not so awesome qualities. ; married to my Scorpio
mama to Ayden 6 years and Gena born 9/16/09
Auroara Bobcat is offline  
#7 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:11 AM
 
SaoirseC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, that must have been really embarrassing! I'm sorry you went through that.

There are a lot of people who lose their appetite smelling "natural" body smells, so in a service position you may simply have to accept it. Yes, it's cultural, but that is simply the way it is here. You may be able to find a job where no one cares about your body smells. FWIW, I'm able to prevent my "body odor" from becoming noticeable to others without smelling artificial (which I can't stand either). I use Tom's of Maine sometimes, and I also like the Thai deodorant sticks. The Thai deodorant stick is simply a large block of minerals, get it a little wet and rub it on your freshly cleaned pits. Not sure how well it works with armpit hair, but it's worth a try. They also have a spray which is basically the same thing, but in water. That might work better with armpit hair. But while I'm at home, I generally don't wear anything.

Oh, and I noticed that wearing certain fabrics makes me smell funny. Anything fake makes me sweat more (even if I feel cold), and increase my BO. I wonder if it was the uniform?
SaoirseC is offline  
#8 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:17 AM
 
~Demeter~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern Illinois
Posts: 5,009
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tom's of Maine makes me reek... if I need to use an actual deodorant, I found JASON brand to be much gentler on my pits and didn't make me stink. I didn't use it all that often, though, because I really feel that putting stuff in your armpits perpetuates the problem.

Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.

~Demeter~ is offline  
#9 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:17 AM
 
Chamomile Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West of the Sierras East of the Sea
Posts: 2,781
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally agree with the synthetic fragrances thing. My mom and grandma use fabric softener which makes me gag...and its all over the sheets when I sleep at their house. Ewwww!!

For your situation the real issue may be that you are in a coffee shop, so anything outside the smell of coffee is going to be noticeable. They way your boss went about "educating" you to the situation is very lame, and I would chock it up to his being clueless. Don't quit over this, its his issue more than yours I think. That being said I think you are going to have to take steps to smell more like coffee IYKWIM. I'm not a fan of deodorant and most of even the natural ones out there make me smell even worse than I might otherwise, but there are a few that work for me.

Weleda sage deodorant is the best. Don't use it if you're breastfeeding though as sage oil is a antigalactigogue (did I spell that right?). My second fave is Weleda citrus. They both work for me without screwing with my natural underarm balance.

Hugs to you! What a crappy situation. You're right about Americans being unhealthily obscessed with cleanliness. I used get some real crap when I told people I only washed my hair once a week . Or that I actually don't enjoy showering. You would think I had blasphemed!
Chamomile Girl is offline  
#10 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:28 AM
 
CherryBomb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
People do complain about "synthetic fragrances." My mom has awful asthma, and if she's in a place of business that has a lot of air freshner or scented candles, or employees with heavy perfume, she always complains and lets them know that people like her can't physically be around that.

At any rate, I'm sure that was humiliating and I'm sorry. But I agree that, rightly or wrongly, American society (and many other socieites) is not fond of "natural odor." But I wouldn't automatically discount the unpleasantness. I've known a few people who had really horrifying body odor, and normally regular old "natural odor" doesn't bother me. (I mean, two of these people stank so bad I literally would gag in their presence). Not saying that YOU smell that awful, just pointing out that some people really do have atrocious BO.

If you're in a service position, I guess you have to decide if you'd rather wear some kind of deodorant (you can make your own fragance free deodorant with coconut oil, baking soda, and cornstarch) while at work, or if you'd rather find a job where it's not an issue and you can go without.
CherryBomb is offline  
#11 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:54 AM
 
Jane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kenmore, Washington
Posts: 6,956
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been told I smelled of body odor at work. I still remember the burn of the embarassment on my cheeks. That's not what any women should have at her birth time - smelly body odor. It was my premenstrual time, and I had forgotten.
I just use an unscented anti-persperant now. I only use it every week or so and it works fine - admittedly, I'm not a very sweaty person under my arms. I usually sweat down my back, unless it's a day or two before my cycle.
Personally, I'm comfortable with the antipersperant (aluminum containing) technology. The unscented Sure isn't scent free (dammit) but it's close. I can't stand deodorant - the layering of smelly foo over smelly body bothers me. The crystals make me feel sealed off.
I guess I just wanted to say, "I feel ya" and also, don't rule out antipersperant.

Homebirth Midwife biggrinbounce.gif

After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

Jane is offline  
#12 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 05:24 AM
 
nathansmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,327
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gosh, I'm sorry to hear of your experience!

I've just recently discovered that apple cider vinegar patted in my armpits while in the shower (and rinsed off) works really well! Doesn't stop you sweating, but because it makes the skin acidic it doesn't allow bacteria to multiply and therefore smell. Apparently, an alkaline environment (like after using soap to wash) will allow bacteria to grow. I also can't wear synthetic fabrics against my upper body as it stinks right away (that was even back when I wore antiperspirants).

It's a Delight-Filled Life.
 computergeek2.gif 
 

nathansmum is offline  
#13 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 07:47 AM
 
HappyMommy2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry you are dealing with this mama!

But my advice is to skip anything with patchouli in it. A lot of people think that just smells dirty and nasty. It is SO strong. A tiny bit is extremely noticeable. For most Americans, it is probably worse than un-natural fake scents and body odor.

Good luck, mama!
HappyMommy2 is offline  
#14 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 11:22 AM
 
JudiAU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
My post was probably blunter than it needed to be. I am sorry I hurt your feelings; I didn't mean to. I should have put more thought into my phrasing.
JudiAU is offline  
#15 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 11:34 AM
 
earthmama369's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6,792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Odor is such a subjective thing -- what smells natural to you might smell really strong to someone else, many people don't like synthetic fragrances, many people don't like patchouli, etc. That more than one person noted your body odor that day tells me that maybe something else was going on. Do you have to wear a work shirt made out of synthetic fibers? Are you coming up on PMS week or in your cycle? Are you maybe coming down with something gastrointestinal, or a virus?

I've noticed that my odor changes a lot when I'm getting sick or when I'm getting my cycle. When I'm getting my cycle, it just gets stronger but isn't "bad," persay. When I'm getting sick, my body odor is just bad. But because it's me, I don't notice it as soon as other people might. I think this is true of most people. Your odor will change gradually, so your nose adjusts up to a certain point, but someone coming into your space for the first time will get hit with it all at once -- big difference!

I'd avoid strong-smelling cover-ups like patchouli, because a lot of people aren't fond of that scent, and it really doesn't mix with body odor (or coffee) very well. Something more neutral would probably work better, especially if you have to wear a synthetic fiber work shirt, since those hold odor so badly, and people tend to sweat a lot more when wearing something like that. There are deodorant brands that don't have a lot of crap in them, like Jason and Tom's of Maine. A deodorant crystal or Thai deodorant would be another good alternative, depending on your body chemistry. If you're really opposed to putting anything on your armpits, you may need to find a way to do a quick swipe with a wet washcloth every hour or so while at work.
A_Random_Phrase likes this.
earthmama369 is offline  
#16 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
Auroara Bobcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks Earthmama. I was wearing a synthetic shirt yesterday which could have added to my smell. That is probably what it was.

I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.

Nonetheless, I will try to temper my smell but not try to cover it up completly. I also will be quiting my job because of how embarressed I am and the fact that I feel hurt by my boss.

No customers complained, it was some employees. And even before this insident happend I was aware of one employee who was very rude to me (maybe because I smelled But I doubt it.)
A_Random_Phrase likes this.

Vanessa, human of many awesome and not so awesome qualities. ; married to my Scorpio
mama to Ayden 6 years and Gena born 9/16/09
Auroara Bobcat is offline  
#17 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 12:19 PM
 
Annie Mac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,138
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally, I would rather smell a person than some awful synthetic smell. Really, as long as people wash regularly, I don't see much of a problem. I know this is not the cultural norm though. Patchouli...I might avoid that. It's maybe not synthetic but it can still cause reactions in people and it's not really to everyone's liking, especially near food.

I don't have much else to add to what the other posters said, other to chime in my support for no deodorant. Also, reading that it was other employees reminds me of a job I had once in a large retail store. I had just returned from a year in Central America, was experiencing a bit of reverse culture shock & didn't have much money to spend, but I dressed appropriately...black pants, toed shoes (after a year in sandals), etc and did my job well. I found out from a friend whose gf I worked with that some employees had said I would "fit in better" if I just got a different pair of shoes that were more like theirs. Yeah. Like I wanted to fit in with people like that.
A_Random_Phrase likes this.
Annie Mac is offline  
#18 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 01:10 PM
 
Keria's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Far far away
Posts: 1,198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would quit unless I really needed the job, but also I find it hard to judge your own smell, I have been around people who really really smell bad and they are completely unaware of it, if you don't want to try deodorant that's ok but there are tons of other options to try. Personally Iwen t back with good ole secret as it seemed that the natural options made me smell even worst.

Mommy to our Twin Miracles babygirl.gifbabyboy.gif born on 29/1/12

Keria is offline  
#19 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 01:45 PM
 
HappyMommy2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
Thanks Earthmama. I was wearing a synthetic shirt yesterday which could have added to my smell. That is probably what it was.

I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.

Nonetheless, I will try to temper my smell but not try to cover it up completly. I also will be quiting my job because of how embarressed I am and the fact that I feel hurt by my boss.

No customers complained, it was some employees. And even before this insident happend I was aware of one employee who was very rude to me (maybe because I smelled But I doubt it.)
Are you sure it is worth quitting over? Yes, embarrassing. But jobs are difficult to find!

I'm sure your boss could have been nicer, but really, there just isn't an easy way to explain this to somebody. I'm sure Boss felt really awkward too, and wanted to help you.

I am very sensitive to smells. When I get my coffee, and people use their whole hand instead of just fingers, to put the lid on... I can totally taste and smell their soap/lotion. It totally ruins the coffee for me.

In your shoes, in this economy, I might take the precautions you mention and then give the boss/job one more chance.

Good luck with your choice. What a tough situation.
HappyMommy2 is offline  
#20 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:36 PM
 
alsoSarah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,144
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not quite crunchy enough to get behind the "it's uncool of them to mind that someone has noticeable body scent" (even if it's not "bad" per se) bandwagon. If coworkers can smell someone, customers can, too. Most customers would probably much rather try to get a comfortable distance away from someone whose scent they didn't care for than complain about it. Coworkers don't have much choice, usually.
I doubt that anyone i've ever known who smelled unpleasant realized it-- otherwise, I imagine they'd have taken steps to change it.

You might try oxiclean on your synthetic shirts, as well as rubbing your detergent for that load of laundry right into the pits of those shirts before washing- unless you use powdered detergent.

Also, I find that a quick post-shower swipe of my armpits with rubbing alcohol (some people feel that vodka is more natural) to kill bacteria really keeps me smelling nice longer. I use deodorant afterward as well, but to each their own!

alsoSarah

I just happen to like apples, and I am not afraid of snakes. ~Ani d.
These dolls and toys confuse me so; Confound it all, I love it, though!~J. Skellington
alsoSarah is offline  
#21 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 02:43 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,487
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry you were embarrassed, OP. I agree that there is no easy way to tell someone about a complaint such as this, so while it made you feel crummy, I don't think your boss was out of line, necessarily. I wouldn't quit, unless I didn't need the money - b/c jobs are really hard to find.

I use Tom's of Maine unscented deodorant, and honestly, I think I do smell a bit some days - like others said, when I wear synthetic fabrics (not often, but even blended material) or it is extra hot and I'm more active. I worry about what I smell like to others, and as much as perfume makes me ill, I can see how B.O., even hints of it, can make others sick to their stomach - especially in the food service industry. When I start my clinicals at a hospital in a few months, I will probably start to use an anti-perspirant those days, even though I don't like the idea, and I certainly don't want one with strong scents. But just as it made me sick when nurses had just smoked, or used a fragrant handwash when I was in the hospital, if I happened to sweat and have any odor, natural or not, it may very well bother a patient. Oh, and I shower every. single. day - but I'm still not immune to being smelly!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMommy2 View Post

I am very sensitive to smells. When I get my coffee, and people use their whole hand instead of just fingers, to put the lid on... I can totally taste and smell their soap/lotion. It totally ruins the coffee for me.
same here. I really hate that - it's even worse b/c the lids are plastic. I have to take them off, which isn't very convenient when in the car.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#22 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 03:17 PM
 
CherryBomb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,885
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auroara Bobcat View Post
I am not trying to defend myself by saying that I don't stink, but I know for a fact that I do not smell *BAD* I think that becuase I have an odor period is what the problem was.
Well, to reiterate what a few others have said, just because you, or your friends and family, don't find your smell unpleasant, doesn't mean that others genuinely don't. You also have to realize that you and the people closest to you are used to your smell. Co-workers at a new job are not. So, I guess I'm saying I don't think it's fair to discount their complaints or portray them as being uptight. I think that a combo of "natural BO" and patchouli can be a really strong smell, and I don't doubt that they really did find the odor offensive, ykwim?
CherryBomb is offline  
#23 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 03:26 PM
 
FarrenSquare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm just chiming in to say that I agree with PP who said to try unscented toms of maine, Jason, or the crystals for odor control. I have used all three and enjoyed them. If you are looking for an essential oil that masks and blends with natural body odor really well, I have experimented with Sandal Wood for quite some time... I can go 10+ days (I do a lot of camping) without a proper shower and wear nothing but a single dab Sandal Wood in each pit and receive tons of compliments on my smell... and I can be quite a smelly gal at times! Mixing Sandal Wood with vanilla gives it a feminine touch, as well.

Plus, imo, Sandal Wood would go great with the smell of coffee!

Feisty Feminist Mama: Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, punkrock Fire-Dancer! I live to laugh, love, and create. And then blog about it. So in love with little Des! Born 11/25/10
FarrenSquare is offline  
#24 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 03:28 PM
 
PiggyPiggyOinkOink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 45
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would be upset if I went into a coffee shop and could smell an employee, especially one dealing with something I was consuming.

My sister in law doesn't always shave, rarely uses deoderant, and doesn't shower frequently. She smells. People notice. I've had people mention it to me when I have gatherings at my house. It's embarrassing for ME and I smell ok!

I don't think anyone has to just accept your natural body odor. You like it? Fine. Others don't. I do not like smelling other people's body odors, it's very off putting.
PiggyPiggyOinkOink is offline  
#25 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 03:33 PM
 
homewithtwinsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, the job description advertising the job I have made it clear that you needed to make sure you smelled good on the job. Apparently it had been an issue with past holder's of the job. So I tend to go overboard to make sure that breath, body, feet, don't offend. But then I work exclusively with pregnant women and we all know how scent sensitive they can be.

So I have to smell unoffensive, but also not any strong scents that also might put off. So I use some good smelling mild soap and Tom's of Maine deodorant. I stick to citrus and lemongrass scents, which don't seem to bother anyone. I have some I take to work to reapply if its a long or hot day. I brush my teeth often and take some Burt's Bees mints with me all the time. I think when you work in a job that serves the public, the boss has the right to make sure their service/products is what clients remember and not your odor.

I feel for you boss though. What is the "good way" to tell someone this? I am not sure I would do a good job trying to tell someone they needed to wash more or use some deodorizing products. The fact is that Americans culturally do not accept the typical human scent. That is not going to change.

For many, body odor implies a lack of cleanliness. I know this is not true, just saying that in a food service industry customers want to know their food/coffee is being made by someone who is personally clean.

How bad do you want the job? I would say find natural products that work for you and keep you out of the boss's radar. And at least for a few weeks, consider reapplying at lunch to make sure there are no further complaints.
homewithtwinsmama is offline  
#26 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 04:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
Auroara Bobcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
To some PP's- I wasn't trying to portray my boss and fellow employees has "uncool" or out of line in this particular situation. I do understand why this was a problem and I do give my boss credit for telling me such an uncomfortable thing in as nice of way as possible.

I do feel bad that I might have offended some people but I also feel bad that I was looked down upon because I do not fit in with the cultural norm.

I agree with the PP's who said they don't like the smell of hand lotion or soaps (I hate them) that get on your coffee cups and thats what you get to smell for the rest of your drink or what have you. But my body smell doesn't stick to other people or things like some chemical fragrance.

Yes, I understand it is hard to judge your own smell, I agree. But I do know the difference between smelling dirty and just plain having normal body smell, KWIM?

I am not saying that other people are in the wrong to having an aversion to a smell, I am just bummed that I can't be myself out and about in society.

I am not a dirty person, I am very polite and respectful and just wish people didn't get all up in arms about some pretty small things, that is all.

Thanks for all of the replies ladies (even the not so nice ones)

Vanessa, human of many awesome and not so awesome qualities. ; married to my Scorpio
mama to Ayden 6 years and Gena born 9/16/09
Auroara Bobcat is offline  
#27 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 04:24 PM
 
mumm's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,603
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
I've been on the other side of this issue. Needing to inform an employee that his body odor was unpleasant for others- coworkers and clients. He chalked it up to diet and stress- that he was about to get married (stress) and had been eating meat. Honestly, I didn't care what the cause was, I just wanted him to smell less! He was unpleasant to be in small spaces with, just normal sweat smell that had been on him for too long. I *like* the smell of clean sweat, but can't tolerate the smell of sweat that has been around for too long!

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in that your boss is probably as embarassed as you. If you want to keep this job, just do whatever it is to keep yourself odor free- free of any scents whatsoever, for the time you need to be at work and not to bring it up again.

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

mumm is offline  
#28 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 05:46 PM
2xy
 
2xy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,056
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a very sensitive nose. I don't care for strong synthetic fragrances, but neither do I care for body odors. My DH has a terrible sense of smell and never used an anti-perspirant or deodorant because he didn't think he needed it. During our first humid summer together, I reassured him that he did! He was surprised. He's not a dirty person...he showers at least daily and wears clean clothes, usually all-cotton shirts. But his pits can be MUSTY as heck! It's a total turnoff. He just sweats a lot. I secretly pity the people he's been working with for the past eight years. I'm sure at least a few of them noticed his BO and just didn't say anything.

I've also been in the position of having to counsel a former subordinate in the workplace who had bad body odor. Her problem was lack of hygiene, which is a totally different story. But yeah, it's not cool to smell strongly of anything when you work with the public. I currently serve in a restaurant and I use crystal deodorant and no perfume/cologne. Customers want to smell their food and drink, not the people around them.
2xy is offline  
#29 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 05:49 PM
 
D_McG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,998
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I, too have known people who shower but have very strong BO. And I kind of disagree that it doesn't' linger. To me it can be quite nauseating and persistent.

I don't really know about this case for a 'normal' smell. I would assume that forever people have been experimenting with various things to alter their scent. But maybe I'm wrong.

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

D_McG is offline  
#30 of 90 Old 08-22-2010, 08:10 PM
 
StellarJournies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry you were embarrassed OP, but if you smell strongly enough for others to notice you then it's time to do something different about it. I find that Dove has some of the lightest and most pleasant scents on the market. I'd really rather just smell like "fresh" than a garbage pit (and I do stink something fierce naturally) for all to catch a whiff of.
StellarJournies is offline  
Reply

Tags
Natural Body Care

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off