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Old 02-03-2013, 02:10 AM
 
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I guess I don't have enough posts yet to send a PM :-) I just read your blog post on your dread process, beautiful story! Your dreads are beautiful!


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Old 02-03-2013, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I took out my dreads... AGAIN! greensad.gif When hubby and I were talking about cleaning, he told me exactly how gross he thought they were and it hurt so bad and I don't want to do anything to myself that makes me unattractive in his eyes, so I just took them out. *sigh* guilty.gif


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Old 02-03-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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=( *hugs*

 

That's so sad. I can identify. That's why I have hair on my head in the first place. It would be almost an aggressive act on my part to shave my head again, as much of an aversion as dh has for it. 

 

I just popped on to post the before pics of Spritely. Beast has been making her brush her hair like every 10 minutes today. He's even asked her Sunday school teacher (a good friend of the family) to make her brush her hair in the middle of class! lol He says he's getting it all out of his system now. It also happens to be a great, passive way to give folks at church a warning about what they're about to start seeing with Spritely, and set a fun tone for it. If they feel comfortable enough to engage in some playful teasing, they won't be worried and it won't become a drama. Anyway, believe it or not...she washed her hair last night and had just finished brushing her hair for the 5th time when I took these pics. That's as brushed as it gets! lol

 

 

 

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Old 02-03-2013, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I was almost in tears when I was brushing out my hair in the shower. I hate that I want to please him so badly that I sacrifice what I really want. "I'm sorry, honey. They just stink and I don't want me or the kids to get lice." REALLY? Lice?

Oh wow! Your daughter has PERFECT dreading hair!


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Old 02-03-2013, 12:22 PM
 
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man...it's sounds like he was pretty jerky about the whole thing. =/ If Beast insulted me like that, I'd probable shave my hair down to skin just to spite him for his attitude. lol 

 

Thanks! oh...and all my opinions were for naught. When I talked over the options with her, she decided she wants to go with the neglect method anyway. She's not even 100% sure she wants thin dreads anymore. She wants to see what her hair is inclined to do naturally. 


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Old 02-03-2013, 02:27 PM
 
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I took out my dreads... AGAIN! greensad.gif  When hubby and I were talking about cleaning, he told me exactly how gross he thought they were and it hurt so bad and I don't want to do anything to myself that makes me unattractive in his eyes, so I just took them out. *sigh* guilty.gif

It does sound like he was a jerk about it. Which, btw, I hear jerkiness is just as nasty as lice. And just as catching, for the kids.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I honestly think that a healthy way to deal , on your Hs part, is to bring his concerns to you and you two work out something mutually desirable.

Like, for my dh, he loves long hair. But like incorrigible, I used to love wearing it short. This was a good compromise - it's long but alternative and funky. OTOH, I love him with a beard, and he wears it bc I like it. However, if he hated it, I wouldn't make him. Another example is shaving. I don't like to, but he loves legs shaved. Does he make me shave anyway - or tell me how unattractive I am when I don't shave? Um hell no. That's unacceptable.

You should get to wear your hair how you want, as long as you hear his concerns. Maybe neglect isn't the method for you. It's another thing to have friends or a salon help you walk away with good (GOOD) dreads. Like, when I walked out of there , I'd have had to cut my hair to remove the dreads. They were permanent from day one - no brushing would take these out. And consequently they looked pretty neat from day one too , and I wasn't worried about washing them or anything.

Sorry to go off. I'm sorta peeved on your behalf. Grrrr.

K: high school teacher and mama to DS1 (7/07), loss (10/10) and DS2 (7/12). Married to my best friend and soon to be elementary school teacher!
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Old 02-03-2013, 04:46 PM
 
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Thanks. I was almost in tears when I was brushing out my hair in the shower. I hate that I want to please him so badly that I sacrifice what I really want. "I'm sorry, honey. They just stink and I don't want me or the kids to get lice." REALLY? Lice?


Oh wow! Your daughter has PERFECT dreading hair!
I am so sorry your hubby is not supportive :-( you are beautiful and would suit any hair type!

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Old 02-03-2013, 05:32 PM
 
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=( *hugs*

That's so sad. I can identify. That's why I have hair on my head in the first place. It would be almost an aggressive act on my part to shave my head again, as much of an aversion as dh has for it. 

I just popped on to post the before pics of Spritely. Beast has been making her brush her hair like every 10 minutes today. He's even asked her Sunday school teacher (a good friend of the family) to make her brush her hair in the middle of class! lol He says he's getting it all out of his system now. It also happens to be a great, passive way to give folks at church a warning about what they're about to start seeing with Spritely, and set a fun tone for it. If they feel comfortable enough to engage in some playful teasing, they won't be worried and it won't become a drama. Anyway, believe it or not...she washed her hair last night and had just finished brushing her hair for the 5th time when I took these pics. That's as brushed as it gets! lol







(just click on the image to see it bigger, for those that aren't familiar)
your daughter is beautiful!

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Old 02-03-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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Oh nooooooo, Becky!! I honestly have no words. 


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Old 02-03-2013, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It d
It does sound like he was a jerk about it. Which, btw, I hear jerkiness is just as nasty as lice. And just as catching, for the kids.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I honestly think that a healthy way to deal , on your Hs part, is to bring his concerns to you and you two work out something mutually desirable.

Like, for my dh, he loves long hair. But like incorrigible, I used to love wearing it short. This was a good compromise - it's long but alternative and funky. OTOH, I love him with a beard, and he wears it bc I like it. However, if he hated it, I wouldn't make him. Another example is shaving. I don't like to, but he loves legs shaved. Does he make me shave anyway - or tell me how unattractive I am when I don't shave? Um hell no. That's unacceptable.

You should get to wear your hair how you want, as long as you hear his concerns. Maybe neglect isn't the method for you. It's another thing to have friends or a salon help you walk away with good (GOOD) dreads. Like, when I walked out of there , I'd have had to cut my hair to remove the dreads. They were permanent from day one - no brushing would take these out. And consequently they looked pretty neat from day one too , and I wasn't worried about washing them or anything.

Sorry to go off. I'm sorta peeved on your behalf. Grrrr.

I honestly think that when I did twist and rip, he didn't mind it so much because there was really no transitioning period. With neglect, it takes about a year or more to get them going good. They already were starting to section off really well. I loved watching my hair change. I know it shouldn't matter what he thinks and that it's my body, but I'm not sure what sort of compromise we'd have to come to. KWIM? I don't want him to think any part of me is unattractive and my hair is one of my favorite things about me. I think that's why it's so important to me to do what I want to it.


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Old 02-03-2013, 10:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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man...it's sounds like he was pretty jerky about the whole thing. =/ If Beast insulted me like that, I'd probable shave my hair down to skin just to spite him for his attitude. lol 

 

Thanks! oh...and all my opinions were for naught. When I talked over the options with her, she decided she wants to go with the neglect method anyway. She's not even 100% sure she wants thin dreads anymore. She wants to see what her hair is inclined to do naturally. 

I think neglect with thick hair like that is a really good way to go. It'll knot up pretty quickly. Only thing is, you might need to separate them pretty regularly so that they don't rat together.


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Old 02-03-2013, 10:36 PM
 
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I honestly think that when I did twist and rip, he didn't mind it so much because there was really no transitioning period. With neglect, it takes about a year or more to get them going good. They already were starting to section off really well. I loved watching my hair change. I know it shouldn't matter what he thinks and that it's my body, but I'm not sure what sort of compromise we'd have to come to. KWIM? I don't want him to think any part of me is unattractive and my hair is one of my favorite things about me. I think that's why it's so important to me to do what I want to it.

I do know what you mean. But at the same time, when one marries, they know its for life and that people will change. You grow and you should do that together. Okay, my hair looks nothing like when we married, but neither does my belly or my butt, after ten years and two kids. For men too, my DH looks different from when I met him, he's put on weight and love handles, etc. Do I tell him he's unattractive and to get to the gym? Hell no. I married him for more than his body, and hopefully your DH married you for more than your (undreaded) hair. If you can't make it through changes together, honestly... What do you have at all?

K: high school teacher and mama to DS1 (7/07), loss (10/10) and DS2 (7/12). Married to my best friend and soon to be elementary school teacher!
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Old 02-04-2013, 01:05 PM
 
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incorrigible - your daughter's hair looks like it will be easy to dread.  I myself went with the backcombing method, as described on the KnottyBoy website.  I, like others, have a job where the neglect method would not have been approved of. 

 

I also used wax (GASP) and despite what some people claim, I have had dreads for years, no smell, no build up (I've cut every single one of them at least once so I do know what's inside) and having nothing bad to say about wax.  Although, at this stage of my dread journey, I only use it 2/yr to keep the fly-aways looking nice.  I think if you use TOO MUCH wax, you're headed for problems (about a m&m size amount for a dread that's 2 feet long is fine.)

 

becky - that sucks that you took yours out again!  I agree with MovnMama - maybe it'd be better for you DH if you just had them, or didn't, but didn't hang out in that in between stage.  I don't know.  My DP was complaining about wet dreads when we first met (they were cold when they touched him in bed.)  I said, at least he knew they were cleaned on a regular basis.  He has never complained since (and I do try to dry them as much as possible in front of the fire before going to bed.)  Partnerships are about compromise.


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Old 02-05-2013, 11:55 AM
 
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Question...with established dreads, does it feel like your hair grows slower? It seems this would be the case because as they grow a little, the base tightens. My hair grows super fast and I'm used to gaining inches & inches a year so I think impatience may sink in if they lengthen slowly. Unless I'm prepared!

 

Also, can you all give me suggestions for scalp itch!!? I'm sure it's just the colder weather causing dry skin added to the fact that my scalp doesn't get as much massage & exfoliation as before. I wash with baking soda and nothing more. It's not super intense like the first weeks after dreading my hair but it's starting to irritate me & I'm getting so many wispy hairs because of scratching too much. Maybe I should be more intentional in massaging my scalp? I know some have mentioned EO oils which I've never tried but it's not that insatiable itching like in the early weeks. Just constant dry skin itchiness!

 

Sorry I have been completely neglecting MDC.

 

My hair grows crazy fast... so I can't really say how much slower dreads grow.  My hair was almost to the small of my back when I dreaded it 5 years ago.  Then shrunk up to just above my shoulders.  Now they are back to almost the small of my back.  I haven't cut them yet... probably a couple more years but there are days when I sit down and find myself stuck because my hair is all behind me.  LOL

 

For itchies, I make a honey and coconut oil mixture, just a teaspoon or so of each and then I rub it into my scalp... JUST my scalp doing my best to keep it away from my roots when I can.  It works great.  Although now that my dreads are established they can take a little oil every now and again... but my hair used to soak up almond oil by the handful when I was doing the naturally curly gig. 


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Old 02-05-2013, 12:06 PM
 
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It's really hard to take a picture of yourself but here are my dreads from about 6 weeks ago.  I will try to get a back view with help from the hubby or kiddo.


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Old 02-09-2013, 09:41 AM
 
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Becky - So sorry to hear about that :(    My dreads were started with Twist & Rip and crochet but I've let them do there own thing since then. My hair is pretty messy at the moment and I'm sure my SO prefers my straight hair but he knows this makes me happy and would never ask me to change something about myself just because he prefers something different. He is balding at the moment and while I find his head of hair quite attractive, I'm not going to drop him when it isn't there anymore. Love should go beyond appearances but I understand some don't feel that way. I hope your DH comes around someday.

 

I don't really have a problem with itchy scalp. The only thing I put on my head is a foaming tea-tree based shampoo and water. So far so good.

 

Here's the most recent pic of my locks...they're about 16 months old

 

 

 


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Old 02-09-2013, 12:32 PM
 
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Your Dreads look awesome ShadowMoon And Indigo73 as well! I have seen yours in the ravelry thread, I loved how you dyed them on the ends!


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Old 02-10-2013, 07:49 AM
 
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Those are lovely Shadow Moon!


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Old 02-10-2013, 02:07 PM
 
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Indigo and Shadowmoom, both your dreads look great! 

 

Thanks everyone for the compliments and tips. Spritely's hair is inclined to rat up right at the base of her neck, so I've been separating it out a little here and there just to keep it from forming a giant ball. lol Otherwise, we're both pretty much leaving it alone and it's a wild mess!!! =D You can see what I meant about color, too. In the summer her hair goes blond, but in the winter she's inside more and always wearing a hood or hat outside so her hair goes dark. You can see both seasons of growth really well in the picture of her back. 

 

 

 

This is week 1. We went to the local thrift shop and let her pick out a bunch of bandannas in different colors and patterns to go with different outfits. That way she doesn't have to deal with other people's weirdness as much when she's out of the house. She had been pretty much a home body until she started her dreads. Then, all of a sudden, it's like every activity starts scheduling meetings and all her friends suddenly want to get together. *eyeroll*


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Old 02-16-2013, 08:41 AM
 
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Hello everyone!  I'm just starting the wonderful dreading process again :)  I love looking at all your ladies pictures in this and is the 2012's forum, you all have some seriously beautiful dreads!  If anyone is interested I started a private facebook page called Dready Mamas that would be a lot like this forum (parenting styles).  If anyone is interested here is a link  https://www.facebook.com/groups/353602928089387/
Have a great day everyone!  I'm gonna go enjoy this beautiful sunny/snowy day :D

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Old 02-16-2013, 12:24 PM
 
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I just applied to join:)


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Old 02-16-2013, 12:25 PM
 
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and you just approved me-lol:)


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Old 02-27-2013, 09:57 AM
 
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I'm new here!

I just read about all of the 2012 thread.

I put in dreads around Thanksgiving last year and took them out around Christmas.  I was frusterated, itchy and they were loose and frizzy.  I think it's time to try again as soon as I can get a friend to help and a free weekend.  My husband and I put in my dreads last time around.  I've gotten my hair very used to using my bar shampoo which I make now and love it.

 


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Old 02-27-2013, 09:02 PM
 
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simple times, they look great! How did you start them? The beginning stages of dreads can be tough as it takes awhile for your scalp to adjust and for your hair to find it's way but it is so worth it. Welcome!


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Old 02-28-2013, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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*sigh* I want dreads so badly, but I don't think I could stand my husband's criticism right now


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Old 03-01-2013, 11:27 AM
 
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aww becky... that just sucks:/ I first mentioned the idea of getting dreads in the fall of 2006. Hubby said that was disgusting and gross and blah blah blah blah. So I didn't do it. And I was pissed at him for a good long time:/ At some point he decided dreads were sexy instead of gross (he credits angelina jolie in Gone in 60 seconds...) okay then... (and ftr, I am totally one who would say do it anyways, its YOUR flippin head...) I totally get it though:/ I dont know if you have mentioned, but is he not into the dreads themselves, or the process? 


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Old 03-01-2013, 02:35 PM
 
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Mine are twist and rip.


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Old 03-01-2013, 07:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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aww becky... that just sucks:/ I first mentioned the idea of getting dreads in the fall of 2006. Hubby said that was disgusting and gross and blah blah blah blah. So I didn't do it. And I was pissed at him for a good long time:/ At some point he decided dreads were sexy instead of gross (he credits angelina jolie in Gone in 60 seconds...) okay then... (and ftr, I am totally one who would say do it anyways, its YOUR flippin head...) I totally get it though:/ I dont know if you have mentioned, but is he not into the dreads themselves, or the process? 

Well, he didn't seem to have as big of a problem when I did my twist and rip dreads, but when I was growing in my neglect dreads he was very vocal about his distaste in them. I think he dislikes the transition the most....


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Old 03-02-2013, 02:40 PM
 
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Could you just put them in again? Now that your scalp is healthier? Doing backcombing or twist and rip?

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Old 03-02-2013, 03:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I COULD but I dont want to. :/ I want it all natural.

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