I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
I lost my brother Paul suddenly this past summer to a massive heart attack. I felt like I was hit by a truck. He was 47, I am 35. He has always been there and I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.
When I flew home I had to stay on the 3rd floor in my sister's old room across the hall from his. Every time I went near that room, I would get goose bumps up the back of my scalp. Once I even felt chilled though it was the middle of summer.
The day of the funeral my ex SIL gave me a picture of him that was a great pic.
I promptly misplaced it and lamented that for the rest of the trip.
The day DD and I left I was very upset at having to leave my family. My sister gave me a card at the airport which I read at the gate. I had a total meltdown and couldn't stop crying. I cried all the way onto the plane and just sat there crying my eyes out--My poor 3 YO tried to comfort me.
She asked me for her crayons and I bent down to open the carry on and THERE on the floor of the plane at my feet was the picture I had lost.
I sat there dumbfounded. Just stunned-how the heck do you explain that?
His funeral program also turned up in the strangest places for weeks. I felt very depressed for a long time. And either a song that was distinctly Paul, or his program would show up. Didn't really help me feel better-actually it made me miss him more, but I did kinda feel like he was around me. I suppose that was comforting.
The chills and the picture on the plane made me feel 100% that he was there with me. It had to have been him.
I'm so sorry you are facing this. It hurts and is so totally unfair. Why you right? There are so many BAD people in this world. It just seems so wrong that yet another good person would be taken so young. I understand.
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!