I had to laugh at your confession of big hair.
I personally love big hair, but you're right, when it frizzes, it's not attractive.
To tame your hair and make it look luscious rather than vicious, try using more moisturizing products, less heat on your hair, and less detergents in your shampoo (you can either use a natural shampoo, or go 'no-poo', which is a homemade hair cleansing solution).
You can check out the links in the first page of this thread (unless you have problems with your no poo recipe, you don't have to read the entire bazillion pages thread):http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=469624
You can also see my humongous no-poo explanation in the sticky note:http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=114069&page=5
Hope this helps and good luck!
I've got my natural waves and curls back, whereas I had shampooed it and blow-dried it straight to death and left my hair naturally frizzy and ugly if left to it's own devices. I still have to blow dry my hair because I hate walking around with sopping wet hair, but it looks nice and shiny now and I don't feel compelled to yank it straight anymore. The waves and curls I have now can possibly rival those 'Raphaelite' curls that you see on celebrities, but my hair isn't that long yet (theirs is a weave, those cheaters....), but I'm working on growing my hair out. They have personal stylists and loads of chemical goop products, but I barely use anything at all - same as other women on this forum who have gone 'no-poo'.