You can make your own with a little natural conditioner in a spray bottle with distilled water, or you can put some drops of jojoba oil or coconut oil and/or lavender essential oil in a bottle with distilled water and use that. Shake vigorously before use. It's best to use the spray on the hair from the ears down or else it flattens your hair from the scalp (too much oil from your scalp anyway).
Get a wide toothed comb - they look like enormous combs; from the brush and comb section of any store. These are detangling combs. When combing hair, start from the bottom of your hair (or your child's hair), and work your way up to the scalp, NOT from scalp down. You will get less tangles and less pain.