Living in another country and "Going for it"-Anyone done this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 12-13-2008, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I kick around the idea of him doing his doctoral work in Europe someday, and alongside that we both are interested in getting involved with baroque/early music orchestras and period performance directors. We haven't contacted anyone yet, but we do have a list of people we'd like to write to and see if they would be interested in helping us realize this dream.

Are we insane? I go back and forth between "We can do it" and "Heck no we can't!"

Has anyone done this? It would be temporary-a year away at the most.
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#2 of 21 Old 12-13-2008, 11:01 PM
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If you can swing it financially, go for it! I have moved to different countries at various points in my life and it has always been a fabulous experience. I would totally do it again if given the chance!

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
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#3 of 21 Old 12-13-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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I was 22 and single (no kids) when I taught grade 2 at an international school in Athens, Greece. It was a wonderful adventure and I am so glad I did it. I know it's different being married with kids, but lots of families do it. When you travel you meet some really neat people doing the coolest things.

I say go for it!!
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#4 of 21 Old 12-14-2008, 02:48 AM
 
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We live in Europe....moved here in JUly from the Middle East. Before that we were in th states for a few and before that we were in SE Asia. My husband works for a large co. where there are opportunites to move abroad. Many dont want to leave family etc but we have always let it been known that we are open and ready. Because of this, my kids have travelled the world, speak a bit of Arabic, and are now learning German. We are very blessed in that the co. takes VERY good care of us. There are challenges to living aborad, but we love it!! I say research, find an opportunity and go for it!
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#5 of 21 Old 12-14-2008, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We live in Europe....moved here in JUly from the Middle East. Before that we were in th states for a few and before that we were in SE Asia. My husband works for a large co. where there are opportunites to move abroad. Many dont want to leave family etc but we have always let it been known that we are open and ready. Because of this, my kids have travelled the world, speak a bit of Arabic, and are now learning German. We are very blessed in that the co. takes VERY good care of us. There are challenges to living aborad, but we love it!! I say research, find an opportunity and go for it!
We know the opportunities are out there. DH gets stuff in the mail all the time about programs that provide room and board for families, along with a decent stipend. It would be modest living, for sure, but we're already "poor" income-wise so this would not be an issue.

We're talking at least 2-4 years down the road before we consider this, so lots of time to think and plan.

I worry about our house (isnt that weird?). We just bought it and we'd really like to keep it and return to it, but how on earth do we care for it if we are away for a year?
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#6 of 21 Old 12-15-2008, 01:57 AM
 
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Most people we know either sell or rent it out for a year. Get a good property managment co.!
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#7 of 21 Old 12-15-2008, 05:36 AM
 
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DH did his master's in film music in the UK. It was fun. We didn't own a house, so I don't know anything about that. I'm working on Benjamin Britten and Michael Tippett for my dissertation, partly so that we will have an excuse to go back to England for a little while at least.
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#8 of 21 Old 01-17-2009, 12:09 PM
 
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DO IT!! There is NOTHING I want more than some international experience (for me, for DH and especially for my kids).

The first place that comes to mind is the UK. I spent much of my growing up years there. While I was there I met many people who were involved in the early music scene.

The UK is easy because there's no language barrier and the culture is enough different for you to get an international experience but not overwhelmingly different. So if you are hesitant, I'd start with looking at options there and then branch out.

But no matter what you do - go for it!!!!
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#9 of 21 Old 01-18-2009, 09:36 PM
 
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DH and I are from the UK. When I was finishing up my doctoral work in the UK my dh (then boyfriend) decided to apply for a training program in Boston. I thought... 'why not go?' I was lucky to find a visiting professorship about 2 hours from Boston and we planned to stay in the States a year. It was great because we had absolutely no commitments or responsibilities in the UK. We were renting a house in Cambridge, UK and all we had to do was pack up our stuff and move it into storage. We were so used to being poor students that we weren't worried about finances, really...

Anyway, it's almost 8 years on and we're still here in the States My job got turned into a tenure track position and I'm now happily tenured with a baby on the way!

I am such a homebody that had we thought about the decision more we likely wouldn't have done it! When I would become anxious or homesick (which happens a lot), I remind myself that it's not forever... that I can change my mind whenever I need to or want to.

Good luck!! Where would you move to? I will add that living abroad whilst a grad student is one of the best times...

Zubee

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#10 of 21 Old 01-19-2009, 02:49 AM
 
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Do it. When DD1 was 7 months old we moved to France for 10 months as part of DH's French degree. It was a great experience. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Gillian - Wife to an amazing DH, Mother to 4 wonderful kiddos . . . and now another on the way.
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#11 of 21 Old 01-19-2009, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by zubeldia View Post
DH and I are from the UK. When I was finishing up my doctoral work in the UK my dh (then boyfriend) decided to apply for a training program in Boston. I thought... 'why not go?' I was lucky to find a visiting professorship about 2 hours from Boston and we planned to stay in the States a year. It was great because we had absolutely no commitments or responsibilities in the UK. We were renting a house in Cambridge, UK and all we had to do was pack up our stuff and move it into storage. We were so used to being poor students that we weren't worried about finances, really...

Anyway, it's almost 8 years on and we're still here in the States My job got turned into a tenure track position and I'm now happily tenured with a baby on the way!

I am such a homebody that had we thought about the decision more we likely wouldn't have done it! When I would become anxious or homesick (which happens a lot), I remind myself that it's not forever... that I can change my mind whenever I need to or want to.

Good luck!! Where would you move to? I will add that living abroad whilst a grad student is one of the best times...

Zubee
We would likely go to the UK, if not there than Germany...possibly both for short periods of time. (DH's doctoral study involves Bach, so a trip to Germany is inevitable anyhow ) We're both interested in getting more involved with the early/period music scene, and the UK is pretty much the epicenter of that right now. The number of small groups out there is staggering. We just need to put our names "out there" and get the ball rolling, kwim?
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#12 of 21 Old 01-19-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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We live in Europe....moved here in JUly from the Middle East. Before that we were in th states for a few and before that we were in SE Asia. My husband works for a large co. where there are opportunites to move abroad. Many dont want to leave family etc but we have always let it been known that we are open and ready. Because of this, my kids have travelled the world, speak a bit of Arabic, and are now learning German. We are very blessed in that the co. takes VERY good care of us. There are challenges to living aborad, but we love it!! I say research, find an opportunity and go for it!
I SO want to be able to be just like your family. I wonder how I can find companies that have positions abroad.

Anyone have any ideas on where to look, especially if I wanted a particular country?
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#13 of 21 Old 01-22-2009, 11:36 PM
 
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i remember when i was a little child my dad got this opportunity and we the children were sooooooooo excited. we sooooo wanted to go. but my mom freaked out and was tooo scared to go. to date we still wish they had gone.

my dd would love me to move. seh is 6. its coming from her and not me. just for the experience. seh says it would be a wonderful experience to live and see how that country is instead of just vising for a few days, weeks or even a month.

last i heard peru was her choice. so i would say go for it.

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#14 of 21 Old 01-23-2009, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i remember when i was a little child my dad got this opportunity and we the children were sooooooooo excited. we sooooo wanted to go. but my mom freaked out and was tooo scared to go. to date we still wish they had gone.

my dd would love me to move. seh is 6. its coming from her and not me. just for the experience. seh says it would be a wonderful experience to live and see how that country is instead of just vising for a few days, weeks or even a month.

last i heard peru was her choice. so i would say go for it.
Our kids are only 3,2, and 7 months, so they probably wouldn't remember much, if anything. But what a great story to be able to tell them, show them pictures, they can brag to their little friends,

I'm so torn!!! I'm so darn attached to our house and I don't want to lose it...or have anything happen to it while we're gone if we go. (the idea of renting it out totally scares me. I'm picky about my house, kwim?)
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#15 of 21 Old 01-25-2009, 01:26 AM
 
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I'm so torn!!! I'm so darn attached to our house and I don't want to lose it...or have anything happen to it while we're gone if we go. (the idea of renting it out totally scares me. I'm picky about my house, kwim?)
Why don't you use a house sitter? google house sitters. I always look at housecarers.com when I want to dream about where dh and I are going to go when the kids are grown. You can be specific about what you want people to care for while you are gone. You may not get someone to pay your rent, but then again you might. They are usually to stay in the house, care for yard, animals, things like that. You get references. I know someone who used them and had great results, lots of great people applied. Usually they are retired.
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#16 of 21 Old 01-25-2009, 03:46 AM
 
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I SO want to be able to be just like your family. I wonder how I can find companies that have positions abroad.

Anyone have any ideas on where to look, especially if I wanted a particular country?
it depends on yours or you dh profession. My dh just kind of networked within his field and heard about this job. He also occasionally is headhunted by recruiters but has never acted on them. I know a lot fo people working abroad in banking and the oil/energy industry. where do you want to go?
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#17 of 21 Old 01-25-2009, 03:49 AM
 
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Our kids are only 3,2, and 7 months, so they probably wouldn't remember much, if anything. But what a great story to be able to tell them, show them pictures, they can brag to their little friends,

I'm so torn!!! I'm so darn attached to our house and I don't want to lose it...or have anything happen to it while we're gone if we go. (the idea of renting it out totally scares me. I'm picky about my house, kwim?)
it was hard for me to leave my dream house that I had only lived in for a year and my best friend was 20 min away. Now it's no biggy-I lived in a gorgeous Mediterranean house in the Middle East and a cool big house that makes me feel like I live in a tree house now. Part of this lifestyle is not gatting attached to people, places things, because about every 2 years--everyone goes. great lesson in non-attachment. I get Christmas cards from all over the world.
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#18 of 21 Old 01-25-2009, 03:56 AM
 
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something else to add. I have been very very sick for over a week. I have had a fever for 6 days and my dd for 7. we are both on antibiotics. We have lived here for 6 months. I asked for help the first few days from some people (rides to school for ds etc) but no one has called to check on us in 3-4 days. I find that so odd. I am the type who cooks for people, takes your kids whatever. The expat lifestyle kindof fosters "having a good time and taking care of your own" and unless theres a strong LLL or something--its hard to get a "tribal feeling" going. I had this more in the Middle East when we lived in a complex. Im kind of mad at my so called friends right now. Im not into superficial friendships
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#19 of 21 Old 01-25-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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it depends on yours or you dh profession. My dh just kind of networked within his field and heard about this job. He also occasionally is headhunted by recruiters but has never acted on them. I know a lot fo people working abroad in banking and the oil/energy industry. where do you want to go?
Preferably Romania (DH is Romanian) or to a French-speaking country...that way we can handle the language. DH is an MD.
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#20 of 21 Old 01-26-2009, 03:05 AM
 
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The reason its sometimes easy to get to some countries is because these countries have difficult time getting qualified professionals within their own countries due to poor educational standars=the reason for lots of expats in SE Asia and the Middle East. I would think finding a job for an MD in Romania wouldnt be too tough...the though part is getting any sort of decent pay,benefits etc.

we lucked out getting Europe. We already paid our dues andwe fell so lucky that this opportunity presented itself.
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#21 of 21 Old 01-27-2009, 09:39 AM
 
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We are here in Italy for three years. I wouldn't trade leaving our old house or family for all the wonderful experiences we have had so far. At times it can get lonely, but I know I need to make the most of our short time here.

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