Labbemama what you wrote really made a lot of sense to me and fit well. I'll look into the DBT when I do find someone.
I think when I was with this guy,before me he was with his mom and then his first girlfriend and then his mom and then me again. So he had never really been on his own. He was so used to being told what to do and had his choices made for him. I tried really hard when I was with him to "retrain" him I guess and let him know that he could and should make his own choices about things.
I felt taken care of when we were together. That's something that I really need in my life. When we broke up it was so fast and with no warning,I mean we never had fights or anything so it was a shock to me one night. He went back to his former gf not to long after me and that hurt mostly b/c I thought he had realized when he was with me that he was worth more then the way she treated him you know.
Before he got back with her though,about a month after he broke up with me I called him one night after a couple of drinks. I said I still loved him and he didn't understand why. He said that it had been a month and that I should be over him by now. Well I wasn't and sometimes it takes people longer to get over someone.
The "break up" with his sister hurt me even more! We had become close friends and I would babysit her son all the time,we'd talk on the phone all the time each day and we would hang out. Then all of a sudden she can't be my friend at all anymore. So I lost my bf,my best friend,his parents and this little boy I'd gotten so close to. Since I don't have my own family it all hurt much more then it would have if I did have my own family that I was close to I think.
I've been feeling stronger over the past few days about things. For a couple days I thought about all the things I could put on my facebook "status" about him that would be mean or silly and would embarrass him,but I don't want to sink to that level. Besides I hate when people have arguements with others with their facebook status! It's quite immature and stupid. It was a little fun to think about it though
I looked through my old photos and planned to get rid of all the ones I had of him,but I didn't find any. I guess I got rid of them a long time ago. So that's good.