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#301 of 416 Old 07-16-2009, 08:41 AM
 
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You're being so strong and courageous - and you have all of mdc behind you! You are a hero.
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#302 of 416 Old 08-03-2009, 03:17 AM
 
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Hey mama,

I'm thinking your new baby might be here already; if so I hope you are having a blissful, relaxing babymoon!

Hope all is well!
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#303 of 416 Old 08-05-2009, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi! Nope, still pregnant!! Any day soon, I just went on maternity leave and am 'nesting' like crazy...trying to get all this stuff done! Its mostly fun, but I feel for ds - so many changes, etc. and it dosn't help when I am busy, but we had a good day today.

Until I read a motion or some $%^& from ex's attorney. Talking about resuming "co-parenting" and how I should use my insurance to pay for some family "parenting" counseling between me and ex and how visitation "may" be supervised. GRRRRRRRRR.

I'll use my hard earned insurance how I decide to use it. And what about HIM being in therapy??? If its true he sure needs it and what if it isn't and he is the the poor victim he's acting...wouldn't someone who's life is being destroyed and torn from family want therapy?? I just don't get it. How ds and I need therapy but a person with substantiated child molestation allegations dosn't. And he's gona tell me how to spend my money when he has not paid one red cent to support the kid (s) he just has to see!!!

Oh give me patience. It's a good thing I read it late at night or I would be on the phone with everybody all mad. Breath in breath out. I'm like NO NO NO and I sure hope my attorney isn't just going for this because I don't like it one bit!!

Please keep us in your thoughts this week as DS goes to visit his new school for the first time, I deal with this stuff and we wait and get ready for baby. I hate it because when I get upset with ex it almost always ends up effecting ds as well...just because I get stressed...I want this time before baby comes to be special for ds..

Thanks for being here!! I needed to vent on that one!
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#304 of 416 Old 08-05-2009, 09:32 AM
 
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Thanks for the update mama, I was just wondering how you were doing! Attorneys always ask for more than they know they can get.

Vent away...we're here for you!

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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#305 of 416 Old 08-05-2009, 12:05 PM
 
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I'm glad to hear from you! You remain in my thoughts and I am still hoping everything works out the way it should for you and your kids.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#306 of 416 Old 08-05-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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Hey! I didn't realize this thread was 16 pages long!!! Thats awesome, that shows a lot to the support from other moms on this forum.

I am so sorry to hear about what you've been through...I cannot imagine the pain and hurt you feel.

I hope things are going well for you and your son....would love to hear how things are for you!
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#307 of 416 Old 08-05-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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Hi there...we are all here for you. Praying for you and your family.
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#308 of 416 Old 08-07-2009, 01:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All! Thanks for the great support!!

Today I'm back on an even keel..my attny drafted a much better document reflecting the reality the rest of us are living in!! lol

Can't believe I'm about to have a baby! But we are doing good. Thanks!
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#309 of 416 Old 08-07-2009, 03:25 AM
 
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, mama. My blood pressure rose reading what your ex's atty is asking for.

I am praying that the criminal investigation leads to him going to JAIL, not to therapy and certainly not to a position where he would have unsupervised visitation with the child he molested.

Whew! Sorry! I'm glad your well, I hope you have a wonderful birth!
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#310 of 416 Old 08-07-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tgrlilly View Post
Hi All! Thanks for the great support!!

Today I'm back on an even keel..my attny drafted a much better document reflecting the reality the rest of us are living in!! lol

Can't believe I'm about to have a baby! But we are doing good. Thanks!
Whew. It sounds so crazy that he would even ask for unsupervised visits, much less get his attorney to agree with him and request them. Talk about an alternate reality.

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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#311 of 416 Old 08-08-2009, 05:50 AM
 
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Hi there tgrlily, I am brand new to your story but I have now read pretty much the entire saga. Want to add my voice to the long list of people here who think you are awesome beyond words for doing the right thing for your son and being an amazing mom and person through all these awful events.

And congrats on your very quickly approaching birth of your new baby!

You have so much to think about, but one thing that I didn't see addressed (maybe I missed it) - you mention a couple times that your son gave you more details of what happened with your ex a couple of times, and I saw someone ask if you gave the new details to the DA but didn't see you mention that. Does the DA and do the police now know everything that your son has said about inappropriate behavior on your ex's part?

And please know (this is to all the mamas out there) that in the awful event that you have to deal with things like this, if you ever call the District Attorney or child welfare or even your own lawyer and they make you feel like they don't want to talk to you or like you're annoying them... IT DOESN'T MATTER - say what you have to say and make sure it gets documented no matter what.

This is another level of having to trust your instincts, and if your child or anyone tells you something that feels important, even if a lawyer thinks it isn't there is no harm in making sure those details are documented. I work for a child welfare agency and unfortunately I know for a fact that even childl welfare workers sometimes are so overwhelmed, they'd rather not know info that will "make more work for them" even if it's relevant to their case. That's not the norm, but it happens.

And I just gotta say, although this almost amounts to ancient history now, when I read that your inlaws were staying with you and watching your son, my first reaction was "Oh no, they are trying to gather evidence against her!" I'm SO relieved that even though they got very frosty and made it clear they were supporting their son, I'm so glad them staying with you didn't make things even worse adn that they didn't try to talk your son out of his truthful story. I was really worried about that as I kept reading.

You are a star, you truly are, and while I know your new baby will bring all sorts of new joy but also stresses on you, I hope somewhere you get the chance to step back, look at how you have handled and are handling this situation with your son and your ex, and you can say "I f'in RULE! I am truly Wonder Woman to have done the right thing and endured all this stress!" Because that... is the truth! :

Take care, wishing you and your new baby a safe healthy birth and wishing you, your son, your new baby and anyone else you become a family with in the future a long, happy, healthy, SAFE life! Wishing that to all of us on this board......
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#312 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!

Baby is here! She is a beautiful little baby 8 lbs born at home - a really peaceful and wonderful birth. I am so happy she is healthy and I was able to stay home.

We are doing well - ds started school and is adjusting great. we are still plugging along with custdy etc.....i am staying firm in protection of my kids & won't back down!!

I did give the DA my diary about what ds has told me & I am glad. I am praying for justice for my son.

Got to go! little one is calling!
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#313 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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CONGRATS TIGRLILY!!! Both your wonderful son and your fantastic new daughter are both SOOOO lucky to have a stellar mom such as yourself!

And imagine this... if you hadn't done the right thing and followed through about your son... what might your ex have done to your daughter?

The amazing thing is... hopefully she and you and everyone else will NEVER have to find out!

Congrats, and wishing you continued healthy, strength and so much joy for you and your family!
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#314 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!
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#315 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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Congratulations! And welcome to the world, little one. You have been born to an awesome mama!

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#316 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Welcome baby girl!! : I'm so happy for you and your family!

I still think of you and your son often and I am always wishing you both well.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#317 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Congratulations!! Welcome to the world, little one, she is such a lucky baby!

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#318 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 07:22 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!:
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#319 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 08:24 PM
 
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Many blessings to you and your children.
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#320 of 416 Old 08-31-2009, 09:02 PM
 
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congratulations on your new arrival :
i've just read through this entire thread today, i'm sorry you and your son are going through this, you are wounderful mummy and i wish the best for you and your lo's now and in the future

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

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#321 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 07:58 AM
 
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I also just read your whole thread today -- congratulations on the birth of your daughter, and double congratulations on being such a strong woman throughout this whole ordeal. I hope you have a wonderful babymoon and that the legal issues you're still facing don't overwhelm you during a time you should be peacefully nesting in your safe home.

DD1 (Oct 99), DD2 (Sep 02), DD3 (Oct 09)
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#322 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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I just saw this for the first time (I'm not usually in this forum) but I had to respond. You are AMAZING and have come so far. May all that is just and good come to you and your children. May you know nothing but safety and peace for all of you. I'm sending you love.

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#323 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 11:49 AM
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Congratulations on the happy birth of your new baby. :
You are one wonderful Mama. Stay safe and happy with your children.
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#324 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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Holy. Cow. Tgrlilly...you. are. my. champion. No. Really. I can't even put sentences together properly. Wow.

I just read your entire thread and realized that I've read some of your other posts before, not knowing the horrid ordeal you'd been dealing with all this time. My god you're a strong woman.

Thank you for posting your thread and for your multiple updates. I kept reading and reading, hoping for a good resolution of your situation when I realized that you JUST had your daughter a few days ago. I do hope that you continue to update us all who are in awe of your strength and determination to keep your children safe from your X.

You've also given me food for thought with regards to my own daughter who's now 13 months old. Having been abused myself as a teenager, I want to make sure that, god forbid, should anything like that happen to her, that she could come to me, just as I was able to confide in my parents and have them believe me. Even their few minutes of disbelief still sting a decade later, but in the end, they pulled me right out of the situation I was in and did their best to help me heal.

Again, I am in awe of your strength in the face of this ordeal and wish you much deserved happiness.
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#325 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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I am sure you already know, but I wanted to add that I think you are such an incredible mother. Congratulations on your new baby -- she and her brother are so so lucky to have a mom like you.

Your actions now will positively affect you for the rest of your life. You are a bright star. :

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#326 of 416 Old 09-02-2009, 02:02 PM
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OP!
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#327 of 416 Old 09-04-2009, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much!

It is so good to have baby here. It is not easy still isn't today rough day all this crap w x. its so hard to believe i even have to deal with him like he is an equal after what he did to my son and our family.

keep us / me in your thoughts and prayers..dealing with this legal stuff, thinking of when I have to go back to work, who will watch my kids, who can I trust..its so hard..

I guess its just new mama stuff but I need a hug today.

Thank you all for being here & for your great encouragement!
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#328 of 416 Old 09-04-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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Big huge giant hug!!!
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#329 of 416 Old 09-04-2009, 07:10 PM
 
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Many many s to you.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#330 of 416 Old 09-06-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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huge congrats to you!! i'm so happy to read your updates yay new little baby! my advice is to try to forget about work until you absolutely have to think about it, don't let it take away time with your new dd.

i'm thinking of you and your sweet children!

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