Until I read a motion or some $%^& from ex's attorney. Talking about resuming "co-parenting" and how I should use my insurance to pay for some family "parenting" counseling between me and ex and how visitation "may" be supervised. GRRRRRRRRR.
I'll use my hard earned insurance how I decide to use it. And what about HIM being in therapy??? If its true he sure needs it and what if it isn't and he is the the poor victim he's acting...wouldn't someone who's life is being destroyed and torn from family want therapy?? I just don't get it. How ds and I need therapy but a person with substantiated child molestation allegations dosn't. And he's gona tell me how to spend my money when he has not paid one red cent to support the kid (s) he just has to see!!!
Oh give me patience. It's a good thing I read it late at night or I would be on the phone with everybody all mad. Breath in breath out. I'm like NO NO NO and I sure hope my attorney isn't just going for this because I don't like it one bit!!
Please keep us in your thoughts this week as DS goes to visit his new school for the first time, I deal with this stuff and we wait and get ready for baby. I hate it because when I get upset with ex it almost always ends up effecting ds as well...just because I get stressed...I want this time before baby comes to be special for ds..
Thanks for being here!! I needed to vent on that one!
Vent away...we're here for you!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
I am so sorry to hear about what you've been through...I cannot imagine the pain and hurt you feel.
I hope things are going well for you and your son....would love to hear how things are for you!
Today I'm back on an even keel..my attny drafted a much better document reflecting the reality the rest of us are living in!! lol
Can't believe I'm about to have a baby! But we are doing good. Thanks!
I am praying that the criminal investigation leads to him going to JAIL, not to therapy and certainly not to a position where he would have unsupervised visitation with the child he molested.
Whew! Sorry! I'm glad your well, I hope you have a wonderful birth!
Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will. If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk New User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement
And congrats on your very quickly approaching birth of your new baby!
You have so much to think about, but one thing that I didn't see addressed (maybe I missed it) - you mention a couple times that your son gave you more details of what happened with your ex a couple of times, and I saw someone ask if you gave the new details to the DA but didn't see you mention that. Does the DA and do the police now know everything that your son has said about inappropriate behavior on your ex's part?
And please know (this is to all the mamas out there) that in the awful event that you have to deal with things like this, if you ever call the District Attorney or child welfare or even your own lawyer and they make you feel like they don't want to talk to you or like you're annoying them... IT DOESN'T MATTER - say what you have to say and make sure it gets documented no matter what.
This is another level of having to trust your instincts, and if your child or anyone tells you something that feels important, even if a lawyer thinks it isn't there is no harm in making sure those details are documented. I work for a child welfare agency and unfortunately I know for a fact that even childl welfare workers sometimes are so overwhelmed, they'd rather not know info that will "make more work for them" even if it's relevant to their case. That's not the norm, but it happens.
And I just gotta say, although this almost amounts to ancient history now, when I read that your inlaws were staying with you and watching your son, my first reaction was "Oh no, they are trying to gather evidence against her!" I'm SO relieved that even though they got very frosty and made it clear they were supporting their son, I'm so glad them staying with you didn't make things even worse adn that they didn't try to talk your son out of his truthful story. I was really worried about that as I kept reading.
You are a star, you truly are, and while I know your new baby will bring all sorts of new joy but also stresses on you, I hope somewhere you get the chance to step back, look at how you have handled and are handling this situation with your son and your ex, and you can say "I f'in RULE! I am truly Wonder Woman to have done the right thing and endured all this stress!" Because that... is the truth! :
Take care, wishing you and your new baby a safe healthy birth and wishing you, your son, your new baby and anyone else you become a family with in the future a long, happy, healthy, SAFE life! Wishing that to all of us on this board......
Baby is here! She is a beautiful little baby 8 lbs born at home - a really peaceful and wonderful birth. I am so happy she is healthy and I was able to stay home.
We are doing well - ds started school and is adjusting great. we are still plugging along with custdy etc.....i am staying firm in protection of my kids & won't back down!!
I did give the DA my diary about what ds has told me & I am glad. I am praying for justice for my son.
Got to go! little one is calling!
And imagine this... if you hadn't done the right thing and followed through about your son... what might your ex have done to your daughter?
The amazing thing is... hopefully she and you and everyone else will NEVER have to find out!
Congrats, and wishing you continued healthy, strength and so much joy for you and your family!
DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.
I still think of you and your son often and I am always wishing you both well.
i've just read through this entire thread today, i'm sorry you and your son are going through this, you are wounderful mummy and i wish the best for you and your lo's now and in the future
Becky, sahm to 25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008
19.05.2012 18.08.2012 24.05.2013 25.6.2013 04.09.2014
I just read your entire thread and realized that I've read some of your other posts before, not knowing the horrid ordeal you'd been dealing with all this time. My god you're a strong woman.
Thank you for posting your thread and for your multiple updates. I kept reading and reading, hoping for a good resolution of your situation when I realized that you JUST had your daughter a few days ago. I do hope that you continue to update us all who are in awe of your strength and determination to keep your children safe from your X.
You've also given me food for thought with regards to my own daughter who's now 13 months old. Having been abused myself as a teenager, I want to make sure that, god forbid, should anything like that happen to her, that she could come to me, just as I was able to confide in my parents and have them believe me. Even their few minutes of disbelief still sting a decade later, but in the end, they pulled me right out of the situation I was in and did their best to help me heal.
Again, I am in awe of your strength in the face of this ordeal and wish you much deserved happiness.
Your actions now will positively affect you for the rest of your life. You are a bright star. :
It is so good to have baby here. It is not easy still isn't today rough day all this crap w x. its so hard to believe i even have to deal with him like he is an equal after what he did to my son and our family.
keep us / me in your thoughts and prayers..dealing with this legal stuff, thinking of when I have to go back to work, who will watch my kids, who can I trust..its so hard..
I guess its just new mama stuff but I need a hug today.
Thank you all for being here & for your great encouragement!
i'm thinking of you and your sweet children!