I need some outside perspective on this relationship issue.
DH is a wonderful person in so many ways, but we have several recurring issues in our relationship. This one came up again this morning, and has me feeling frustrated and resentful (again!).
BACKGROUND: DH works full time, I'm a SAHM/parttime WAHM. DH is more of a night person, and I am more of a morning person. DD is up daily by 6 am, and does not sleep well through the night. We co-sleep, and of course I am the one who tends to all her night wakings since I'm the one with the boobs. DH sleeps with us about half the time, in another room about half the time. When he sleeps in another room, he gets great nights of sleep; when with us, he gets better sleep than I do but does get woken by DD.
PROBLEM: Given any opportunity, DH will sleep in much later than DD (and I, of course) get up. It drives me nuts for several reasons. For one, he gets tremendous more sleep than I do. If he chooses to stay up late, that is his choice, and to me doesn't excuse him from getting up at latest by 7 if we are up by 6. Today is the perfect example of another reason it drives me nuts: I had a dentist appt at 10am and DH was going to watch our DD during that time. Rather than just coming home before my appt, he took the morning off of work. The evening before we talked about how we both had a lot of things we would like to get done in the morning while he was home, but we would work that out in the morning. (His taking time off work is a bit of an issue too, but that is another post!) 6 am rolls around, DD is up, so am I, DH is still sleeping. I close the door so he can continue to sleep, since I do want him to feel rested. 7 am, still asleep...I'm tapping my foot waiting for him to wake up. just before 8am, I finally go in to the room and just get on with our day, like brushing teeth, etc. But by now I'm pissed off, I figure he squandered the morning away sleeping, so now I should get to take care of my "things to do". But I'm left with only 45 mins to do them because DD needs me in order to nap at 8:45 and I have to leave as soon as she wakes up. So I'm pissed off, pressed for time, and he is clueless that there is any sort of problem.
So in a nutshell, I feel like it is unfair of him to sleep in when I don't get to do that ever. I'm not asking for an opportunity to sleep in, because truthfully once DD is up, so am I, and I just can't sleep at that point. But what I want is for him to get out of bed, at latest 1 hr after we wake up. That first hour is filled with breakfast and waking up anyway, but by 7 am, if he isn't going to work (weekend or any other reason), I feel he should be helping me out, not just sleeping away.
What do you think, am I over reacting or is it legit for me to feel irritated and resentful? We definitely have talked about this before, so it isn't like I've just been suppressing my feelings and letting them boil up.
: Mountain biking mama to one beautiful baby girl, born happily at home 8/26/2008.
Her signature would be: Sleep is for the Weak