"Intervention" for overweight friend. - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 122 Old 01-24-2010, 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted by LROM View Post
Can't read all the responses but just in case this hasn't been said... has anyone pointed out that for many people, including people with depression, with weight issues, and then the "regular intervention issues" (like drugs, alcohol), that one of the positive things about a WELL DONE intervention (emphasis on well done) is that it may be the 1st time ever, or the first time in a long time, that the person is aware that that many people care about them and want them to do well and are rooting for them and willing to help them?
I know full well that I have people who care about me, want me to do well and are rooting for me. That has no impact whatsoever on my weight or my struggles with depression.

I get that done badly it could backfire big time, maybe to a very sad end. But I actually have personally never heard of an intervention truly driven by people who care going badly. I've heard of it having an amazingly positive impact, and heard of it not really having any impact at all. But suicide or driving someone further into their problem? I see on this thread t hose mentioned as concerns, but has anyone actually got examples of that happening where the intervention was done well (i.e. not by people with passive-aggressive agendas or manipulative or mean) and then the person getting suddenly worse because of the intervention? I've never heard of that happening.
I think that it takes a lot more to make an intervention "well done" than a simple lack of an agenda or manipulation or meaness.

I think it sounds like the intervention you describe in the first post sounds to me driven by love and concern. And in my field (child welfare) where there is so much pain and ugliness, I see how powerful love and concern - when matched with health and common sense - can be in turning a dire situation into a powerfully good one. It's hard for me to imagine a gathering of caring, loving, "We're rooting for you and we're on your side so what do you want for yourself? What are your dreams? How can we help you get there?" -type people not having a positive impact.
As a fat woman, I can't imagine it having a positive impact. It definitely wouldn't make me feel loved. I am loved, and I feel loved...and that would all turn to ash if any of the many people that I truly believe love me participated in something like this. I'm astonished that you see this as potentially positive.

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#122 of 122 Old 02-12-2010, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by ILoveSweetpea

I don't want to offend anyone, and I really hope I don't. But isn't it a different ball game when you are talking about someone who weighs 400 lbs, as opposed to someone who just weights, say, 200 lbs? I mean, you get to a certain weight, and you might diet and you might exercise... but just the sheer volume of fat is extremely hard on your body. At 400#, you know they have a high % of body fat. Even if they don't have diabetes or high blood pressure (which, yes, anyone can get any any weight) our bodies weren't designed to hold and carry that much weight.
Originally Posted by bcblondie View Post
This!! That's what I was trying to say.
I think the problem is that bcblondie was commenting on the original op's problem of the obese friend. While most other posters are referring to overweight issues......

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