I don't know what to do about my IL's. They disregard every single thing I do as a parent. For instance...
I nursed my son. My FIL would make rude comments all the time pretending as though he was the baby. He would say things like, "When I get off this titty, I'm..." (this would aways be different. I was extremely offended by it, but he isn't my parent, and as a matter of fact he isn't my husbands real father either, but I try and leave those discussions up to my husband and his family. Everyone just laughs at his rude and degrading comments. I don't find them amusing.
FIL also thinks car seats are stupid. He thinks I am nuts because it is so important to me that a car seat is properly installed and that my son is fastened in just right. He thinks it is a conspiracy that people have to go out and BUY car seats, that all cars should come with them "built in".
He feeds all the infant grandchildren anything he is eating. Loves to give them pickes, and icing, and anything he can put in their mouth. I have been in SO many fights with everyone in the family over this, but he has made clear he doesn't intend to change. I told him it wouldn't be happening with my next child, and he said in that baby voice, "Oh we will, when you aren't looking."
MIL is a whole other story. She doesn't say anything about me nursing my children, so I guess that is a plus, but she is on the same page as FIL about giving the babies a ton of junk. There have been MANY times my son has come home from a day at Gramma's with severe diarrhea to the point it lasts a couple of days and leaves scabs on his rear. She has been told time, and time, and time, and time, (I could go on here) again to please be easy on the sugar with him, but she just can't seem to understand, or listen. I know it makes her mad that we have to tell her, because after all, "She raised 2 boys and they turned out just fine." but I told her that he must have inherited my bowel and not his fathers. She could buy 100% juice, but would prefer give him kool-aid or soda even though we have discussed this time and time again. You would think it would be easier to just LISTEN and not get griped at about it when he is sick. I just don't think she realizes how sick he gets because she passes him off for us to deal with before she shows any signs of getting diarrhea. Did I mention that I never wanted my child having all kinds of junk and sugar?
The woman doesn't know how to install or put a baby in a carseat. Just a couple of months ago, she drove my 6 week old nephew to church and back without strapping him in his carseat. I was FURIOUS about this, and decided she would be taking my son ANYWHERE until she learned how to buckle a kid in. She claimed she couldn't get it buckled and didn't understand, but that was no excuse in my book. She could have asked for help from someone at church, but no. She is Mrs. Invincible and just that one time there was no way that anything would happen.
Not to mention she will let all the grandkids go HOURS without diaper changes, but she makes sure she changes them right before mom and dad get there.
I know they "love" my son, but they don't respect my and my husbands decisions and I am growing more and more annoyed with them. I don't trust my son there, and I WILL NOT trust this baby there because I know they sabotage every parenting idea I have for my children. They are toxic.
They are all we have because my parents are disabled and unable to help out in any way shape or form. I don't have any close friends I can rely on, and neither does DH.
Anyway this is just a rant. Hopefully I can come up with a solution between now and when the baby is born because I am sure I will need a bit of help. Truth is I need support, but I would rather do it alone, than have my beliefs smashed all the time.
Ashlee - wifey to Josh , mama to Gavin 9/2007 , and expecting a baby GIRL 7/20/10.