Taking care of myself/yourself - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've come to the conclusion that I am not taking very good care of myself. I've started doing a few little things to show myself more value. The first week of this year, I started using moisturizer on my face everyday. The next week I added stretching everyday. The third week, I made sure I brushed my hair everyday. So often, I'd go a week or more because it spent so much time in a pony tail. The fourth week, I started doing some pushups and some plank exercises to strengthen my core. I'm hoping to add one new thing each week.

How do you take care of yourself?

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#2 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 01:39 PM
 
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Subbing.

I suck at taking care of myself.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#3 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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Some of the usual...eating better, doing some excercise, getting enough rest.

I read, watch DVDs.

I buy myself jewelry on etsy sometimes.

I take naps.

Take a bath.

Go to lunch somewhere that I like with dh, my brother or even alone. I don't mind going by myself. Or sometimes I'll get something, take it to the park, eat in my car and read a bit there while I eat.

Garden. Being in the garden is nice.

I can't do some of the little things I used to do anymore, but I'll list them. I have breathing issues, so no more of these things for me.

Paint my nails
Wear a little perfume ( NOT LOADS OF IT!)
Use scented soaps that I love
Take a bubble bath
Use scented lotions that I love.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#4 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 02:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mysticmomma View Post
How do you take care of yourself?
Not very well!

In all seriousness, I had a light bulb moment a few months back where I realized I wasn't living up to my potential. The is so much surround this feeling, too much to write about now.

Anyway, I have been making little changes. I am starting to be more selfish, and this is a good thing for me. It is helping me accomplish goals that have been pushed aside for too long.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#5 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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I used to take good care of myself before I had kids. After having kids all that went by the wayside. Now that my kids are 5 and 3 I really want to try spending a little time on me again. I have been trying to work out when I can and next weekend for my 27th birthday I am going to get my hair cut and colored (it has been two years since I did that) and get some new clothes, bras and panties etc.

I think it is so hard once you become a Mom to find the balance of taking care of the house, the kids, the husband and taking care of yourself. Self care is so very important and such a self esteem booster and I really want to do better with that.

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#6 of 35 Old 01-26-2010, 08:13 PM
 
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I'm not taking care of myself AT ALL. This needs to change ASAP or my health is going to be in serious trouble.

Needs:
1. Eat healthier
2. Move more
3. Mind exercises

I used to be so good to myself.

Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
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#7 of 35 Old 01-27-2010, 02:19 AM
 
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The one thing I have started which makes me feel much better and taken care of (mentally) is painting. I am not that good of an artist but I love poetry and painting so now when every one is asleep if I can pull myself off the interenet, I go make a painting. Just seeing and feeling the paint swoosh around gives me a thrill that can take me back to feeling inspired about my life. Or some times I will write a poem which really takes me back to a time in my life when I used to be so in poetry, its like meeting myself again. Its pretty engergizing.
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#8 of 35 Old 01-27-2010, 08:24 AM
 
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I was a voracious reader from when I was a little kid up until DD arrived. Then for the next 5-6 years, I never made the time or took the time to read and felt such a void. Now, in the last year or so I've been making an effort to always have an interesting book around and to actually sit down and read several times a week. And I'm getting them from the library which is a new frugality for me.

I find meal planning, trying new recipes, being frugal, eating interesting and nutritous food to be immensely satisfying. In the last couple of years, I started doing a CSA, shopping at the farmer's market, etc. DD is a very adventurous eater so that helps make food prep a pleasure.

I do a few other things just for me (knit, sew, animals, music, garden, etc.). I hope some of it sinks in with DD so she will learn how to nurture herself throughout her life.

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#9 of 35 Old 01-27-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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I started yoga (again) recently, and belly dancing about a year ago. I went back to school, made myself paint my nails once in a while and demanded time away from my kids.

The weekly goals are great :yep
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#10 of 35 Old 01-27-2010, 04:04 PM
 
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I have been having a terrible time with this lately

I like the idea of bringing in one change per week. Since Christmas I've been aiming for flossing (how sad is that?) taking the stairs more at work and trying to be in bed by 10:30.

Great thread-I really need help with this!
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#11 of 35 Old 01-31-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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Friday and yesterday were really bad for me. So hubby took the kids to his Mom's and is doing laundry there. I have the house to myself today.

Already took a one hour nap.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#12 of 35 Old 01-31-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N-WA...1&feature=fvwp

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#13 of 35 Old 02-01-2010, 12:53 AM
 
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The first step was getting into therapy to believe I was worth taking care of myself. All the rest came with time.

Single mama to one active lil pill, aged 6. Getting my Masters in Counseling while playing as much Farmville as possible
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#14 of 35 Old 02-01-2010, 01:01 AM
 
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I need to work on that. As it is I roll out of bed, put on whatever is near the bed and toss my hair in a ponytail.

I have sensory problems and the feel of hair on my neck freaks me out, and I don't have the features for short hair, or I would do that.

Maybe I can try to easy myself in to wearing my hair down.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#15 of 35 Old 02-02-2010, 11:52 AM
 
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subbing for great ideas!

I've been trying to take better care of myself by going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. Once I get over the hurdle of getting out of bed, I am much more of a morning person than an evening person, and by getting up 30 minutes earlier (my goal is 1 hour earlier, I'm working towards that) I have been able to clean the kitchen or do laundry before work, and have been doing 20 minutes of stretching/yoga/weights (depending on what I feel like doing on a given morning).

Other things I hope to start doing to take better care of myself include
- regular facials (with clay or honey, and including herbal steam baths)
- nightly breast massage
- regular eye exercises (I have poor eyesight and have read that this can help, plus it just feels good after having contacts in all day!)
- getting more exercise! PERIOD.
- drinking more herbal infusions-- possibly every day! Nettles, oatstraw, red clover.... anything to help tone and strengthen my adrenal and reproductive systems.
- learning to meditate
- take more baths
- less "screen time" (blogs, netflix, etc)
- breathing exercises (to help me learn to breath more efficiently and effectively)
- do kegel exercises every day!
- cook larger meals so that I have more leftovers and can take nutritious meals for my lunch each day-- too often I'm left hungry and tempted to raid the vending machien

that's a long list, but I really hope to find the time and energy to keep moving forward and incorporating more things into my daily routine. It seems daunting, but I can remember a time when I felt like flossing and stretching each morning were too much to handle, and now they are second nature!

 Married to my sweetie and enjoying life with our fabulous dog.  Expecting #1 in August 2012!!!!

 

 
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#16 of 35 Old 02-02-2010, 03:04 PM
 
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Yoga, I stopped biting my nails, reading, bath (not often enough)....
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#17 of 35 Old 02-05-2010, 06:30 PM
 
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i saw this thread before, but didn't know what to say. this afternoon i was making a list of what i want/need to do this weekend. it's long, lol. in the margin, i started writing the things i would like to do - reading, hot bath, piano, etc. at the top of that list, i wrote "fun chores". so i guess putting myself on the to-do list is one way to make sure i take care of myself!
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#18 of 35 Old 02-05-2010, 08:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticmomma View Post
I've come to the conclusion that I am not taking very good care of myself. I've started doing a few little things to show myself more value. The first week of this year, I started using moisturizer on my face everyday. The next week I added stretching everyday. The third week, I made sure I brushed my hair everyday. So often, I'd go a week or more because it spent so much time in a pony tail. The fourth week, I started doing some pushups and some plank exercises to strengthen my core. I'm hoping to add one new thing each week.

How do you take care of yourself?
Great post. Nice work on really starting to take care of yourself. I've really gotten to the point where I too MUST make time to take care of myself. I'm so so so ashamed to admit it... but I used to shower daily, and now I'm lucky to shower twice a week. I more often then I'd like to admit let my leg hairs grow. Most days I don't wear makeup or style my hair.

I don't get out of the house much in the winter... so why get all dolled up for my 17 month old son? The truth is, wearing your pjs all day can be fun and relaxing for a short time... but damn depressing in the long run.

I really like how you gave yourself small weekly steps. I think I'll develop a plan to do the same. I don't want this to become the "new me". I deserve to be clean and well groomed, even if it means asking for a half hour in the morning for DH to watch the kiddo (soon to be kiddos).

Thanks for being honest and giving me some inspiration.

Mama and co-parent to our beautiful DS (08/08) and our mighty strong DD (04/10) . Life is good.
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#19 of 35 Old 02-05-2010, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm really trying to do things that fit into 5 minutes. That way, when I have a moment, I can do one. I'm actuallly making a checklist. I hope that eventually I won't have to use the checklist because taking care of me will be automatic.

hh2.gif

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#20 of 35 Old 02-06-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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I'm really trying to do things that fit into 5 minutes. That way, when I have a moment, I can do one. I'm actuallly making a checklist. I hope that eventually I won't have to use the checklist because taking care of me will be automatic.
It's funny you say that... last night I started making a list of things I wanted to start doing for myself. The list was hilariously basic (brush teeth, comb hair, etc.). But as I made the list I was thinking "I've got to make a checklist because otherwise I'm afraid I'll forget or not make myself do it." So I think I'll be putting together a checklist too.

And, yeah, that's a great point about making them things I can fit into five minutes. Some day I'll have a half hour to myself in the mornings, but not right now. Just five minutes of grooming in the morning is a great place to start and to "maintain".

Thanks again for making this post. You've really inspired me to make an effort on my own behalf.

Mama and co-parent to our beautiful DS (08/08) and our mighty strong DD (04/10) . Life is good.
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#21 of 35 Old 02-07-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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This is a great thread! It helps to know that other mothers had/have this problem, too, after they became parents.

A big thing for me, is that I want to look good. Get regular bathes, keep my hair brushed, use lotion when I need it, wear nice clothing, jewelry (I never was big on makeup and it's not something I'm ready to start)... stuff like that, all of which I had put off after having children (hair is mostly in a ponytail, because I'm always cleaning something up and it'll get in the way - nice clothing and jewelry are also problems, for the same reasons and, well, jewelry -outside of earrings- and toddlers is just asking for it to be broken).
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#22 of 35 Old 02-07-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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It's hard. It really is. To take care of oneself. Yet it really should be a priority for everyone. I'm working on it.

I go to yoga 1X a week. That's really all I can afford time wise in my week right now. But it helps oh so much! My goal is to make it to the studio 3X a week at some point.

I get a massage once a month. I LOVE massages!
I would go 2X a month if I could.

The biggest thing I'm lacking right now is any type of girls night outs. I get invited and never go for one reason or another. I've decided to change that.
I need that comradarie and I always really enjoy the conversation. I'm currently invited to two in the next couple of weeks. I have vowed to go to one of them!

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#23 of 35 Old 02-07-2010, 04:28 PM
 
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Saying "No" often. (This is the #1 thing that I now do for myself).
Journaling
Walking and Yoga
Naps
Baths
Weekly cleaning lady
Fresh flowers
Reading
Drinking lots of water
Going with the flow of life
Loving me and being kind and gentle to me

Me afro.jpg reading.gif Wife and Mom to modifiedartist.gif cat.gifdog2.gif.
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#24 of 35 Old 02-07-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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This is such a beautiful thread.

Me afro.jpg reading.gif Wife and Mom to modifiedartist.gif cat.gifdog2.gif.
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#25 of 35 Old 02-09-2010, 01:37 PM
 
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baths, keeping my nails painted (I feel so pretty with painted nails, don't know why), writing in my journal, watching a funny movie, walking in the backyard, exercising and paying attention to what I eat, reading a good book, not overwhelming myself, saying no to people sometimes......Now if I would get back to doing these things for myself I'd probably be a lot happier right now.......

I'm a single, self-employed, homeschooling mom of 2 great kids. Girl 9/95 and Boy 3/99.
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#26 of 35 Old 02-13-2010, 03:00 AM
 
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great thread! I need to remind myself that I deserve 'me' time. It's so hard to take care of yourself with young children to take care of.

I do yoga at least weekly
read positive books
hike often

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." -Vincent Van Gogh
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#27 of 35 Old 02-13-2010, 04:45 AM
 
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I sat and watched "What not to wear"...

Then went out and bought a new pair of ankle boots to replace the worn out pair of brown shoes I bought 10 years ago. ($60)

The next week I went looking for jeans. The first time in 15 years. To replace the pair that is 2 sizes too big, has splattered paint on it from when I declared it "housecleaning" clothes 6 years ago and was finally developing holes at the hips. I got 2 new pairs for $44.

I started to wear a little bit of make up and to put on face cream at night.

Next I'd like to get a hair cut. I haven't had more than a trim in years.

Mama to Emma (7) and Sarah (5)

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#28 of 35 Old 02-13-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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OP: I'm so happy for you that you're taking steps to take care of you. Sending you big hugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by *bejeweled* View Post
Saying "No" often. (This is the #1 thing that I now do for myself).
<snip>
Going with the flow of life
Loving me and being kind and gentle to me
Yes, yes, yes. Me too. And I say YES to life, YES to what I love, YES to what feels good, YES to myself...

About 3 years ago I gained a bunch of weight (stress, depression, being down on myself and life) 1.5 years ago I decided I wanted to care for myself, get myself back to my normal size and get super healthy. So I lost the extra 50 lbs and am back to my size I was 7 years ago and beyond.

I walk 60 minutes a day outside. I actually walked laps in my back yard while the kids played inside for about 3.5 years just so I could do this (wearing my younger when she was younger). I bike 30 minutes on a stationary bike in my living room. And I rotate weights/pilates/yoga at home too when I can fit it in.

I have a gallon of organic coconut oil I use for both skincare and for eating. Try to eat per Nourishing Traditions (traditional diet). Take Standard Process supplements, probiotics, cod liver oil.

I get out one night a week by myself, drink wine, and listen to people karaoke. (This has been replaced this semester by taking college classes--which I also consider self-care because I am loving it). It's great to have the kid-free adult time.

Last Spring, I started a 30-hour/month PT job that I love which makes me feel competent, friendly, likeable, outgoing...like an adult.

I spend as much time as I can writing friends, posting on lists, talking to friends...this helps me so much emotionally.

Wow, it looks like I do a lot for self-care. It's been a process. I added things gradually (for example, it wasn't 'til after I was w/ the kids 24-7 for almost 7 years before I got time to myself).

What I want to do is get more clothes (stuff I feel good in for exercise, casual wear and work/dressier), get a broken molar (tooth) fixed, create more down-time around the house playing on the floor with the kids and watching movies, dance more (around the house), start painting or donig something with clay (anything to express myself more), talk more, find some new friends to lounge around and have real-life discussions with, get another PT job to help me be independent so I can ultimately leave the spouse, and eventually start a PT life-coaching career (working for myself).

***EDITED TO SAY***
I stopped associating with people that thought I should be someone other than myself, and only associate with people that inspire me and make me feel good (vice versa). So this included not talking to my mom anymore, and not going to many extended-family functions. Weeeeeeeeee!
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#29 of 35 Old 02-13-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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Great thread! I love the idea of making one change per week and am going to think about this and make a list of simple changes that I want to make. There have been alot of changes on my(our) life in the past 6 months, most negative, although some have had positive consequences. Lately, I have been feeling very desperate, which leads me to neglect my health, which leads me to feel like crap, which makes me feel more desperate. Thanks for the reminder that I can make positive change in my life

Happiness despite misery is a great victory, I think...

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#30 of 35 Old 02-14-2010, 12:24 AM
 
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This has been really good to read.

The first and foremost thing I need to do is take care of my physical health which is poor. Gentle exercise.

I am glad to hear that yoga even one day a week is worth it. Maybe I can get there once a week. Between work, kids and grad school there is not a lot of "me" time.

Then, my mental health is next. I am so overwhelmed by everything that I am stressed to the max. Feel like I am going to implode.

So, saying "no" and telling myself "you have done enough" are going to have to play a bigger part in my life.

For today/tonight -- just getting to bed would be a good thing.

So, I will sign of Mothering for now :-).

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