Laying it all out here in hopes for some inspiraton to change (flaming welcome, maybe it will help lol) update post 41! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, so I make SURE that my dd is taken care of, eats right *no choice since she has E.C.* but even before the strict diet she is on, she ate organic food etc.

For me, I don't. I'm lazy, careless, and need to change. I'll just make a list of my unhealthy habits and can someone please tell me some good reasons why I should change, if I will feel better, links, anything. I need motivation. I keep saying I will change, but I never do.

1. I smoke cigarettes. I have a number to call to get FREE patches to quit. I haven't even called. I like to smoke. I'm scared I'll get mean.
not anymore.. update post 41 =D

2. I eat so unhealthy, I eat McDonalds on a regular basis, brownies, junk. I really want to be a vegan; or at the very least start as a vegitarian, but then I have no patience to cook. I need some good reasons.

3. I'm on medications for panic/anxiety disorder which from what I'm told, is a comorbid from having Aspergers disorder. I LITERALLY can not function without meds. I'm on disability. I'm not looking for a magic cure, but IDK, I just wish there was a natuaral EQUIVILENT to zanax, and zoloft.

4. I am addicted to sleeping I think. I HATE waking up, I am a night owl and I stay up too late for fear of I dont' know what. Is there a benefit to going to bed early?

5. No motivation.

6. Oh yeah, and 100 percent of my liquids are diet coke! I KNOW this can not be healthy, but I'm addicted. I have withdrawls if I go 12 hours or less.

Please tell me how I will feel better if I make these life changes. Thanks everyone!

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#2 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:14 AM
 
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Hi there, I am almost (1) full year of being smoke free I was a 3+ decade smoker and loved to smoke. I have wanted to quit for a long time, not because I didn't like it but because I knew my quality of life was down and that I could become really, really sick and maybe die young.

So last year at this time my smoking inventory was: I knew no one else who smoked (aside from my mother and husband), it was increasingly difficult to smoke anywhere in public, I didn't smoke indoors and so I was always 'tied' to the back porch, I was ashamed that I smoked, I was getting no younger and knew that if I didn't quite soon I never would, I spent a great deal of money on cigarettes, and I was a role model for my lovely 4 year old child.

As if any of that was enough to keep smoking? I just kept lighting up thinking about quiting. Then one night my dd asked me very curiously, "mommy, how long are you going to live?" She was a liitle scared just realizing I was not going to live forever and trying to grasp the concepts a 4 year old tries to grasp. I said as I smoke my f'n cigarette, "I don't know". This was my trigger... I quite that night, almost a year ago.

All in all it was easy on one hand. ONce the 'real' decision to quit happens the doing becomes easy. My husband, a hardcore smoker of more than 40 years quit 3 weeks later and my mother, a smoker of more than 60 years quit 5 months ago. They both used the patch (I highly recomend) and I used the gum.

It is so worth it. Aside from our quality of life (and literally breath) improving, we have saved over $3000.00. Not even to mention that now my precious daughter is not exposed to the smoke or habit anymore.

not all who wander are lost
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#3 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there, I am almost (1) full year of being smoke free I was a 3+ decade smoker and loved to smoke. I have wanted to quit for a long time, not because I didn't like it but because I knew my quality of life was down and that I could become really, really sick and maybe die young.

So last year at this time my smoking inventory was: I knew no one else who smoked (aside from my mother and husband), it was increasingly difficult to smoke anywhere in public, I didn't smoke indoors and so I was always 'tied' to the back porch, I was ashamed that I smoked, I was getting no younger and knew that if I didn't quite soon I never would, I spent a great deal of money on cigarettes, and I was a role model for my lovely 4 year old child.

As if any of that was enough to keep smoking? I just kept lighting up thinking about quiting. Then one night my dd asked me very curiously, "mommy, how long are you going to live?" She was a liitle scared just realizing I was not going to live forever and trying to grasp the concepts a 4 year old tries to grasp. I said as I smoke my f'n cigarette, "I don't know". This was my trigger... I quite that night, almost a year ago.

All in all it was easy on one hand. ONce the 'real' decision to quit happens the doing becomes easy. My husband, a hardcore smoker of more than 40 years quite 3 weeks later and my mother, a smoker of more than 60 years quite 5 months ago. They both used the patch (I highly recoment) and I used the gum.

It is so worth it. Aside from our quality of life (and literally breath) improving, we have saved over $3000.00. Not even to mention that now my precious daughter is not exposed to the smoke or habit anymore.
Thank you so much for your story!! I highlighted the area's where we were in the same boat. I hate the fact that my dd knows what a cigarette is, and she asks me why, and I tell her that mommy is bad. I mean, what else do I say? Congrats on being smoke free for a year You story really is inspirational.

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#4 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:24 AM
 
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I'm sorry you are facing this right now in your life. Your eating and sleeping habits, and your lack of motivation lead me to think you may have depression. You said you are on medication, but maybe this dosage and/or type is not working for you.

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#5 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:26 AM
 
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I so agree, treegardner. OP, are there things you do get excited/motivated about, or do you feel like life is just kind of blah and steady most of the time?

Anytime I see someone calling themselves lazy I feel like they've attached a judgment to their behavior choices. I'm wondering if there's a lot of guilt that you're feeling right now, as well.

Single mama to one active lil pill, aged 6. Getting my Masters in Counseling while playing as much Farmville as possible
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#6 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry you are facing this right now in your life. Your eating and sleeping habits, and your lack of motivation lead me to think you may have depression. You said you are on medication, but maybe this dosage and/or type is not working for you.
This could be very true, although I'm not sure.. I'm on the highest dose of zoloft, which is 200mg/day. I have a history of depression, and definitily have some red flags.. I'll bring this up to my doc. Thanks.

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#7 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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do you feel like life is just kind of blah and steady most of the time? yes
Anytime I see someone calling themselves lazy I feel like they've attached a judgment to their behavior choices. I'm wondering if there's a lot of guilt that you're feeling right now, as well. I would have to answer yes to this as well[/QUOTE]

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#8 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:31 AM
 
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I think a counselor might really help in that regard

Single mama to one active lil pill, aged 6. Getting my Masters in Counseling while playing as much Farmville as possible
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#9 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think a counselor might really help in that regard
I can do that definitily! My psychiatrist who is very awesome to say the least, has suggested this, but I declined, thinking that since I have Aspergers, counseling wouldn't help, since it's neurological. All I have to do is tell him I changed my mind on the next visit, or email him.

eta: he has NO CLUE about the smoking and excessive diet coke. I was too embarrassed to even bring it up.

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#10 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 03:15 AM
 
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2. I eat so unhealthy, I eat McDonalds on a regular basis, brownies, junk. I really want to be a vegan; or at the very least start as a vegitarian, but then I have no patience to cook. I need some good reasons.

3. I'm on medications for panic/anxiety disorder which from what I'm told, is a comorbid from having Aspergers disorder. I LITERALLY can not function without meds. I'm on disability. I'm not looking for a magic cure, but IDK, I just wish there was a natuaral EQUIVILENT to zanax, and zoloft.

4. I am addicted to sleeping I think. I HATE waking up, I am a night owl and I stay up too late for fear of I dont' know what. Is there a benefit to going to bed early?

5. No motivation.

6. Oh yeah, and 100 percent of my liquids are diet coke! I KNOW this can not be healthy, but I'm addicted. I have withdrawls if I go 12 hours or less.

Please tell me how I will feel better if I make these life changes. Thanks everyone!
I'll start with #2 on your list. Don't shoot for vegan/vegetarian just yet. Transition easily. Like RavenLunatic said with the smokes, the food you are eating is also modeling for your DD, even if she does need a restricted diet. So cut back or go cold turkey. But do it in a way that works for you and doesn't overwhelm you. Everytime you reach for a smoke, a BigMack or sugary snack, know that you alone have the power to decide if you are really going to pick it up and eat it. It's really your choice no matter what your urges may be.

It is easy for someone to say just don't buy those things, but eventually that is what it will come down to. You will have to choose between the lifestyle you currently live in or the one you want to have. So find a way that works for you. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your successes.


Like other posters have mentioned, maybe you should discuss your meds with your doctor again, maybe that is what you could change right now. And come clean about it all. They can't help you as well if they only know part of the picture.

And you wanted to know how much better you will feel? It will be absolutely amazing. I am a firm believer that if you put junk in, you get junk out. So start putting some good stuff in there so that you will have the energy to do what you want to do. I know if I eat fast food at this point, I feel awful afterwards. So pay attention to how you feel after you eat. Does what you are eating make you feel good and energetic? Or do you feel a sugar/caffeine buzz that's going to let you down? Or do you just plain feel <blah> afterwards?

Best wishes for you to make the positive changes you desire.
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#11 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 11:36 AM
 
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Personally, I'd deal with one issue at a time, or otherwise I'd be overwhelmed. Other than mentioning stuff to your doctor as pps suggest (and I think is a good step), let the other things slide for a bit. I would think the smoking is the first place to start.

Unless you are independently weathy, smoking is insanely expensive. I was recently standing at the grocery store checkout counter with my 12 yo dd, where the prices of cartons of cigarettes were posted. We figured that for what a serious smoker spends, you could buy a nice used car in a couple of years. She was shocked.

Figure out how much you spend a year or month on cigarettes. What other things could you be spending that money on? Debt elimination? An emergency fund? A college fund for your child? Imagine how you would feel if you had say, five years worth of smoking money applied to something that is a financial goal of yours. There are so many good options as opposed to flushing that money away on smoking.

Not to be trite, but smoking kills people. You know that on one level, but to live through it like I have brings it home. My mom died at 64 from lung cancer. My kids will never know her and I can't tell you how much that hurts all of us. My dad had just retired, and they had plans to travel and relax after raising 6 kids. Smoking cheated them out of that. My mom loved everything about smoking. She was afraid to stop for fear she'd gain weight. When she was bald and vomiting her brains out with chemo, she was pretty remorseful and wished she'd made different decisions.

Second hand smoke can affect your kids whether or not you smoke in front of them. The smoke still clings to you and you expose them. Some of the lasting effects your children can suffer even after they are grown include high blood pressure and psychological stress. Children of smokers are more likely to end up smoking themselves. When they are adolescents, they tend to have more behavioral problems.

You have the power to make a hugely positive change for your child's future, not just yours. You care enough about her to make sure she eats well, so think about how much this could mean to her. If you can't quit for you, maybe you could quit for her. Talk to your doctor about the patch or other aids. Those things do give many people the extra help they need to overcome such a powerful habit.

I hope this comes across as encouragement and not flaming, because that certainly is the spirit in which it is intended.

Edited to add--You say you worry you might get mean. Well, for a little while you might, but your self-awareness might help alleviate that. You may be cranky while you are going through withdrawl. Being temporarily "mean" is a lot less damaging to those around you than being permanently dead. My stylish, slender mom who was so worried about gaining a few pounds came to realize too late that being a live size 8 was a whole lot better than being a dead size 2.
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#12 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 01:34 PM
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I agree with Theia on the food issue, pay attention to how your body feels after you eat. I have a real problem with fluctuating energy throughout the day, and also have stress related stomach problems, and when I started this exercise, I started getting some real answers about what the food was doing to me. For instance, if I eat some protein for a snack instead of junk carbs or sugar, I don't get as much energy at once, but I don't feel awful after the energy dies off either, and it lasts longer. I know that if I am stressed and I eat and drink certain things, my stomach will be a wreck.

I agree that you could use some counseling to help you get in a more positive place. You can't take care of yourself and your body if you don't love yourself and your body. Have you tried some positive self affirmations? I can't say enough about what that did for my self esteem. You will probably need additional help to change your thinking, but it might be a good place to start.

You have a lot on your plate now, so take it slow, and celebrate the little successes. Baby steps. You are worth it.
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#13 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Making my first step, I'm on the phone with the florida quit line to get the patches =D for those in Fl, the number is 18778226669

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#14 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 03:00 PM
 
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Regarding the Diet Coke ~ I too, was a Diet Coka-a-holic. I still drink 1 a day, but that's it. You don't have to totally give it up. I started having water with my meals and my DC as a "special treat" mid afternoon, when I really needed it. Sometimes I'd end up drinking two, but two Diet Cokes is WAY better than 5 or 6. Don't eliminate them, just try and scale back a little .

Good for you for getting those patches!

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#15 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 08:01 PM
 
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I was a heavy, heavy smoker and a diet coke head. Here's my two bits:

1. I never knew I stank until I quit smoking. As a non-smoker, I can smell a smoker a million miles away now and am always appalled by it. I see in one of your responses that you called the helpline, which is awesome. If you ever falter, just remind yourself that the first 72 hours is really critical - after that, the nicotine is gone and it's all emotional. Even now, when I'm stressed out I imagine having a cigarette, but never would because I'd have to quit again.

2. I think you're probably severely dehydrated. Instead of trying to quit drinking DC, just make a deal with yourself to have a glass of water for each DC you have. You will probably be craving more water within a few days.

I just wanted to say that I am really impressed with the amount of courage it took to post. I think you are a brave woman and are on the verge of some major, positive life changes. Please keep us posted on your success!
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#16 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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I would like to recommend a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. I felt that I was lazy too, but once I got my health under control and on the right supplements I felt better than ever. She also talks about nicotine addiction and caffeine/sugar addictions and what supplements can help. Truly, if you are deficient in vitamins/minerals, that can be causing all kinds of the problems you are describing. It's not your fault! You can get better, I promise.

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#17 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was a heavy, heavy smoker and a diet coke head. Here's my two bits:

1. I never knew I stank until I quit smoking. As a non-smoker, I can smell a smoker a million miles away now and am always appalled by it. I see in one of your responses that you called the helpline, which is awesome. If you ever falter, just remind yourself that the first 72 hours is really critical - after that, the nicotine is gone and it's all emotional. Even now, when I'm stressed out I imagine having a cigarette, but never would because I'd have to quit again.

2. I think you're probably severely dehydrated. Instead of trying to quit drinking DC, just make a deal with yourself to have a glass of water for each DC you have. You will probably be craving more water within a few days.

I just wanted to say that I am really impressed with the amount of courage it took to post. I think you are a brave woman and are on the verge of some major, positive life changes. Please keep us posted on your success!
Thanks you I will definitily keep all of you posted. I'm so happy to have so much support, it really means so much to me. I'll be getting the patches in the mail in approx 2 weeks, than I'll be recieving daily phone calls from a counselor through the program About the dehydration, that is VERY true. In the past, whenever I had to go to the ER, it never failed, I always had to get an IV for dehydration! The lady on the phone told me the best thing would be to set my quit date for a saturday, so the date is Feb 20th, although it could be the saturday before that, it all depends when my patches show up. Dh is going to take care of dd during the critical time. I'm so going to do this!!

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#18 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 10:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would like to recommend a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. I felt that I was lazy too, but once I got my health under control and on the right supplements I felt better than ever. She also talks about nicotine addiction and caffeine/sugar addictions and what supplements can help. Truly, if you are deficient in vitamins/minerals, that can be causing all kinds of the problems you are describing. It's not your fault! You can get better, I promise.
Thanks for the book suggestion! I've saved it to notepad so next time I go to the library, I'll be sure to check it out

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#19 of 98 Old 01-29-2010, 10:50 PM
 
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I just wish there was a natuaral EQUIVILENT to zanax
If you live in Florida, you should be able to get pineapple sage to grow with no problem. IME, a cup of pineapple sage tea (it doesnt turn color; stays clear but is slippery and so good) SERIOUSLY is equivalent to taking a zanax. Your doctor wont be able to advise you about this and there is VERY LITTLE info online or elsewhere that I can find, but I am speaking from experience when I say it is a very sedative and calming herb.

ANother thing I wanted to mention is about the diet cokes and your sleeping troubles, which are certainly related. I had the same problems as you (well Dr.Pepper is my problem, but I couldnt go to sleep or get up at a decent hour and would often be up all night). I started cutting off the soda at 5pm and I cannot stress the amazing difference this made in my sleeping patterns. I still dont much like to get up in the mornings, but finally now when I lay down at night I can close my eyes and go to sleep instead of buzzing and thinking and tossing and having to get back up.

Good luck to you!

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#20 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 12:47 AM
 
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Thanks you I will definitily keep all of you posted. I'm so happy to have so much support, it really means so much to me. I'll be getting the patches in the mail in approx 2 weeks, than I'll be recieving daily phone calls from a counselor through the program About the dehydration, that is VERY true. In the past, whenever I had to go to the ER, it never failed, I always had to get an IV for dehydration! The lady on the phone told me the best thing would be to set my quit date for a saturday, so the date is Feb 20th, although it could be the saturday before that, it all depends when my patches show up. Dh is going to take care of dd during the critical time. I'm so going to do this!!
You rock.

Keep telling us how it's going because we care.
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#21 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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Thanks you I will definitily keep all of you posted. I'm so happy to have so much support, it really means so much to me. I'll be getting the patches in the mail in approx 2 weeks, than I'll be recieving daily phone calls from a counselor through the program About the dehydration, that is VERY true. In the past, whenever I had to go to the ER, it never failed, I always had to get an IV for dehydration! The lady on the phone told me the best thing would be to set my quit date for a saturday, so the date is Feb 20th, although it could be the saturday before that, it all depends when my patches show up. Dh is going to take care of dd during the critical time. I'm so going to do this!!
I am so happy for you. Hooray for your DH being supportive and agreeing to help. Let us know when you finalize the date and I'm sure many people will be here to support you as well.
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#22 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 08:23 AM
 
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I just wanted to say good luck. I think it is great that you are getting the patches! DH and I were both smokers and we quit together in August using patches and have been smoke free ever since. DH was a really heavy smoker so if he could do it anyone can. We both feel sooo much healthier, more energy, our skin looks better, no coughing etc. Also even though we still get cravings to smoke sometimes smelling someone that smokes is enough for us. We never realized how gross it smells to non smokers. Our sense of smell and taste is so much better now. Plus we save soo much money not smoking. The only thing I would suggest is make sure you are truly ready to quit smoking. Even with the patches the first few days are really really hard. It is great thought that your DH is going to help out, that will make a huge difference. Just remember why you are quitting and know going into it that the withdrawl symptoms and cravings will go away, it only lasts a few days. It is all downhill after that!

Good luck with everything. I admire your courage to post here!

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#23 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 11:04 AM
 
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It's wonderful that you called the helpline!

Maybe this book could help you: "Addiction free - naturally".

I agree with one of the PPs about taking it in slow, steady steps. Good luck!

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#24 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 11:43 AM
 
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You may find that once you've quit smoking (not during, but after) that your sense of taste is quite different. That may make it easier to improve your diet and cut out the junk food.
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#25 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 02:45 PM
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Hooray! You can do it!
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#26 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 02:57 PM
 
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Just a thought, my ds is aspergers and spd and the gluten dairy free diet SAVED us!!!! I have a blog www.eastonseats@blogspot.com of all kinds of recipes and menus to help others take the plunge, to show you can still eat good, and with easy to find stuff.

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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#27 of 98 Old 01-30-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey's mom View Post
Ok, so I make SURE that my dd is taken care of, eats right *no choice since she has E.C.* but even before the strict diet she is on, she ate organic food etc.

For me, I don't. I'm lazy, careless, and need to change. I'll just make a list of my unhealthy habits and can someone please tell me some good reasons why I should change, if I will feel better, links, anything. I need motivation. I keep saying I will change, but I never do.

1. I smoke cigarettes. I have a number to call to get FREE patches to quit. I haven't even called. I like to smoke. I'm scared I'll get mean.

2. I eat so unhealthy, I eat McDonalds on a regular basis, brownies, junk. I really want to be a vegan; or at the very least start as a vegitarian, but then I have no patience to cook. I need some good reasons.
3. I'm on medications for panic/anxiety disorder which from what I'm told, is a comorbid from having Aspergers disorder. I LITERALLY can not function without meds. I'm on disability. I'm not looking for a magic cure, but IDK, I just wish there was a natuaral EQUIVILENT to zanax, and zoloft.

4. I am addicted to sleeping I think. I HATE waking up, I am a night owl and I stay up too late for fear of I dont' know what. Is there a benefit to going to bed early?

5. No motivation.

6. Oh yeah, and 100 percent of my liquids are diet coke! I KNOW this can not be healthy, but I'm addicted. I have withdrawls if I go 12 hours or less.

Please tell me how I will feel better if I make these life changes. Thanks everyone!
You should definitely check out the book The China Study. My husband has severe crohn's, and I have suffered from depression for a long time. When we adopted a vegan diet after reading this book, we both became SO much healthier. DH's crohn's is under control and I'm not depressed anymore (not saying it's entirely from the diet, but I know it's helped a TON to clean myself out so to speak).

I truly believe that what you put into your body has a huge effect on all aspects of your health.

I also think a big motivator for you to change will be when your daughter is old enough to undrestand that, although she eats a healthy diet, her mama doesn't. She'll start to question this to no end. Your motivation will be to model the behavior you want your daughter to immitate. For me this is huge. Try to tell yourself "I WANT to be in good shape because I want my daughter to see that exercise is important and fun. I WANT to eat right so my daughter will develop healthy habits."

You WILL feel better if you stop smoking, eat better, and get more sleep. I really think doing these things (as well as dumping the coke) will help immensely with some of your emotional issues as well.

You could also be suffering from depression. You sound a lot like me when I was severely depressed. I ended up going to counselling, changing my diet radically, and starting to exercise, as well as going on anti-depressants for a short time. I've been off the meds for about 3 years and haven't been to counselling in as long, but I'm healthy and happy, which I attribute to the lifestyle changes.

Anyway, sorry this is so long! I really hope you realize that you're WORTH making changes for. You need to value yourself enough to start taking care of yourself, because no one else will do it for you! I promise once you start taking care of yourself, you'll feel a million times better. Good luck!

I'm Megan , married to Steve, mama to Rowan (11/07) and thrilled to be 03/10!
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#28 of 98 Old 01-31-2010, 01:48 AM
 
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Op, you are an inspiration! I'm cheering you on!

Wife to dh, Mommy to ds1 12/2002, ds2 9/2005, and ds3 9/2008.
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#29 of 98 Old 01-31-2010, 04:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Again, thank you all for the support, resources (book suggestions, links, diet recommendations etc) I plan on implimenting as much as possible! I'm so excited to get started now LOL.. really I am. I'm really to start feeling better. As of now, the official set in stone date is Saturday, Feb 20th. I may start the saturday before IF the patches come in the mail before hand. For the pp that mentioned the gluten free diet, my psychiatrist also mentioned this to me, he said he has seen a lot of success with his other patients with ASD's who eliminated gluten, and some milk and gluten. Than as another pp stated, that my taste buds should get better after quitting.. I hope this is true, because it will be so much easier to eat healthy. As of now, well image this...drinking water with nicotine breath.. it's similar to dumping water in an ashtray and drinking it down :Puke It's very hard to get the cigarette taste out of your mouth. Again, I can't wait until this crap is over for good! I'm going to try to find some pinapple sage also, as a pp posted, to help with anxiety. I'll problably be posting like a mad woman on the day I quit, and maybe for the few days afterwards

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#30 of 98 Old 01-31-2010, 02:11 PM
 
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I've been thinking about you ever since I read your post. I am so excited for you! Goooooooooo, Kailey's Mom!
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