Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: now back in Europe
Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
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anothing point is that ... support may not be coming from those people you would "normaly" expect support from .... sometimes it's from people you barely met but with whom "something clicks" just because they are presently at a place in their life where something echoes in you because you can benefit from what they have been through .... even though they may not realise this and may not be actually making any concerted effort to help you .....
= have just been putting in practice my ideas on listening and being listened to ... these last 2 days, by e-mail (following the ghastly discovery by some of my children on social media of seflies of a family member with tubes in his nose and graphic details of his medical condition, with regular updates from his hospital bed .... I just felt SO hurt that my children could be upset by such emotionnally irresponsible behavior .....) there's another daughter in law in that family who shares my shock and horror at some of the going-ons in that family ..... and i know that she understands me "from the inside"
so we are hoping to share a few e-mails describing our feelings
.... and then working on the idea that we don't need that crap in our life and trying to let go of all the hurt feelings,
recognising that we had a place and time to grieve over the relationship which will never be what we had hoped it would be
... and telling each other that we both tried our best intentions, humanely, .... but that there's only so much we can do ourselves if the other party is so emotionnaly un-well that they don't seem to be able to function mentally lile "normal/average people"
.... in order to make place in our day to day life for better feelings and actions to do us good (have just come back from a yoga class ... even if it's only 20 minutes on-line doing deep breathting with the help of a web site .... it's just the idea of making a time and place for yourself and making the choice, as aware as possible (not easy at first so switch off the worrying thoughts in our mind ...)
well, i'm not saying that it's easy for me .... it's a process, and at the beginning, every minute that i can do something for me instead of thinking of them and the hurt i had felt .... every minute counts .... until it becomes second nature ...
i need to leave the computer ....
good luck in your search, cast your net wide ...it may not be people you know in real life, it could be just ideas you take from here or there ... start with facing the sun eyes closed for a few minutes and just breathing .... directing your thoughts towards what you hear, or the feeling of the sun on your face .....
Last edited by IsaFrench; 11-06-2015 at 07:23 AM.