Why do I find being a mom so hard?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 03-06-2010, 12:55 PM
 
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I completely understand!! When you're in survival mode anything will do.

Does she nurse to sleep for naps? Can you start with trying to do her naps without nursing, and then maybe that will make the transition easier? Will she take BM from something other than the boob? If she will then you could have your DH try getting her to sleep, and then without her seeing/hearing/feeling your presence give her some BM to put her back to sleep.

Sleep is so frustrating! I hate it when I'm sleep deprived!
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#32 of 53 Old 03-07-2010, 11:09 AM
 
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I have a 3 year old and an almost 9 month old (will be in four days - gah!). It's hard. I find myself thinking that perhaps I wasn't cut out to be a mom of more than one and what was I thinking (and we are possibly considering number 3 - yikes!). I fall into bed each night knowing I will be woken up in two hours and that the morning wil come all too soon and I won't be nearly rested enough to deal with my super active very spirited 3 year old.

It helps a little when I remember how young my 3 year old really is. I've heard it a million times but I really do forget how little he still is when I look at him and see all the things he is doing. When I lower my expectations of what I want to get done/what he 'should' be doing/what my house 'should' look like, I seem to feel a little more patient. Sometimes. I also have to remember that the baby is going through a clingy/sleep regression phase right now and won't always be like this.

No real help here - just commiseration. Somehow it helps to know that we're not going through it alone :-)
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#33 of 53 Old 03-07-2010, 12:22 PM
 
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I'd been avoiding this thread because all I could think when I read the title is

"you find mothering hard because it IS hard."

I finally opened it today and read:

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdescalzi View Post
I feel great while I am out and miss them terribly but as soon as I walk in the door the whining and crying starts and the calmness disappears. (
I think there are a couple of things you could try that might help. First, try to let go of the idea that you need to miss them while you are gone. You'll get a better break from them if you do. They are totally fine and I can't help but wonder if part of the problem is that you feel guilty about taking a little time for yourself. Let go of the guilt. Attachment parenting really doesn't have to be 24/7. You really can go to the gym for an hour.

Second, read this article:
http://www.continuum-concept.org/rea...InControl.html

It isn't magic, but it did help me get some balance when my kids were toddlers. It helped with the whinny and the crying, which is VERY draining to deal with.

While I think these things might help, I don't think they will cure everything.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#34 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 12:59 AM
 
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Mine are around the same age as yours and...yeah... I am very easily frustrated these days. One of them is always fussing and I feel both don't get the attention they deserve. I feel like I'm lacking as a mother a lot of the time.

Add that to my 3 y.o.'s new tyrannical personality. I thought I was lucky- age 2 was great. Holy cow, 3 is sure giving me a run for my money.

Hang in there!

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#35 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by thyra View Post
Poor thing! She only stays asleep if she's latched on? Can you try some of the techniuques in "The No Cry Sleep Solution"? I've heard good things, even though I've never tried.

Does your DH do any nighttime parenting? Even though your dd is only 9mo
(too young for nightweaning IMO) I don't think she is too young to be taught to sleep without the boob. Can your DH try to put her to sleep some nights?

Thats tough, I hope you find some solutions for better sleep soon!!


ok.... THIS one

I read your various posts and wanted to weep for you.

I was you for a while. I read that book, and it really worked; the only thing that was different was that I held my then 8-11 month daughter on my shoulder and rocked her then rubbed her and then like a miracle, she weaned and slept, and still does.... at 3.5 yrs and 2 next week, my children sleep though and have been doing so for nearly a year. NO cry it out aty all.

I honestly can't remember much of the 1st 6 months with my children (20 months apart) and as a previous poster said, these stages do all pass. you've just REALLy GOT to be good to your self, go easy. Any time you feel like crying, just remember the rest of us who are either going through it or have done, and that you're not alone.

Please, don't be so hard on yourself.

::::
Welsh Mummy to My long awaited beautiful boy and girl. Proud Wife of my best friend.
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#36 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kdescalzi View Post
Sapphire Chan...the thing is is that I do get breaks. I go to bootcamp twice a week for an hour and on the weekends I usually do a 2-3 hour grocery/mall shop while dh takes the kids. I feel great while I am out and miss them terribly but as soon as I walk in the door the whining and crying starts and the calmness disappears. They are both just so hard right now and no matter how many breaks or glasses of wine I get, the minute all hell breaks loose I loose my cool. I feel so drained and sad right now. I don't want this time to go away, and I want to enjoy it but everyday passes so quickly with so much anger and stress
I think the crappy thing you are just at such hard ages with both of them that it is like a vortex of whining and stress! I can't imagine, honestly.
To me, the good news is that I have gotten to a place with DD where she is not like that anymore at all and it is SO much better....but guess what still hard. Just better.
Hang in there and remember that this to shall pass so look for the sliver linings.

Can you list 10 things that actually really enjoy about being home with each of them at this stage? It sounds a little dramatic, but I bet afterwards you feel better. Try even telling them some of these things after you write them out and then post it on the fridge as a reminder. I do this with both my hubs and my DD and it really recenters my intentions back to where I like to be. If only for a second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#37 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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Also, activities, activities activities......I try and stay very busy with DD, and also I try to wear her out!
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#38 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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I have given up on trying to be calm & patient. I think the key is just to make sure you aren't MEAN, ever, which is something I'm working really hard on. Kids can be okay -- just fine -- with impatience & frustration, but I will not tolerate meanness in myself as a mother.
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#39 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 01:45 PM
 
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I almost didn't become a mom cuz I knew it is a huge responsibility. And not having nurturing parents myself, how could I be able to not f*ck up my kids?!

I decided around age 30 that I could be a parent after I was touched by the circle of life as I experienced my grandfather slowly dying. (I'm 40 now.)

If I did it all over again, I would not have had children. (I am the only one I've ever heard say this.)

HOWEVER, because of having children, my spiritual growth has been AMAZING. Just childbirth alone got me so in tuned to my body and sexuality. Even so, I still wouldn't do it again.

I have two daughters: 8 and 4.

I've tried to be what I consider the "ideal" mama--like even beyond AP...more of indigenous tribal mama like in the Continuum Concept.

Of course, with those expectations, I've felt like a failure much of the time. I find myself being so much like my mother and have "beat myself up" for it. And then I feel guilty. And then angry. And then crabby. And finally, worthless and incompetent.

There's no f-ing way that I, one person, can be an entire tribe. Jeez! LOL.

What brings me peace is giving myself permission to be whatever I am in any given moment. To not resist what I'm feeling. To not make myself bad for what I do or don't do. To observe myself without judgement. And whoever I am being in any moment is just perfect, just as I should be. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make myself unworthy. I simply cannot help how amazing I am. And neither can my children. And neither can you or your children.

(That stuff above, alone, makes me much happier, more relaxed, more joyful about life and being a parent.)

And I trust. I trust that my children chose me to be their mom (or you can think that God picked you to be their parent..whatever fits your belief system), just as I chose them. I am part of their journey as much as they are part of mine. This match is PERFECTION.

Staying focused in this mindset is all I really need to do. And everything falls into place without effort. Why? Because I don't believe in mistakes, everything has purpose.

I'm learning to enjoy the entire journey and experience (even when I"m yelling, or laying on the floor crying, or going to the bar alone drinking wine ). ALL of it is enjoyable to me now.

To me, life is totally about learning to love ourselves unconditionally. When we love ourselves, we bless ourselves, our children, and everyone around us. ("The Power is Within You" by Louise Hay ROCKS)
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#40 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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As far as kids' whining...

Look at it as your child expressing what you aren't expressing yourself.

Do you feel like whining? Your child is doing it for you.

Check out the book "Your Competent Child" by Jesper Juul.

Also, I try to let my children freak out, whine, cry, whatever as much as they want. My 4yo is easy for me to deal with and I asked her if it just feels good getting it out (like crying dramatically)? And she says, "Yes." Or I tell myself and her, "Yeah, sometimes it just needs to come out." So yesterday I heard her say that about her big sister freaking out. "She just needs to get that out."
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#41 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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You know I hope this doesn't sound bad but I totally understand where you are coming from and posts like this make me feel better! Being a mother is such a hard job. My girls are 20 months apart and I have had some really really rough days. I finally got to the point where I couldn't take waking up each day just dreading the chaos, the sibling fights, the messes, the dog, etc. So I just decided that I am going to be as calm as I can but try to not be too hard on myself. We do the best that we can. If our children are well fed, bathed, loved, and have social and physical outlets I think we are doing a pretty darn good job! We don't have to be perfect and we can't! Some of us have kiddos that are quiet and easy and some (like myself) have two little wild girls that go go go until they drop. Each circumstance is different. I don't think that just being a calm Mom neccessarily makes someone a great Mom.

I think that the more we can talk openly like this about Motherhood the better. When all I hear is about how blissfully happy and zen SAHM's are and how they do arts and crafts all day in their sparkling clean home and then at night when the LO's are asleep they crochet a blanket and read a whole novel I feel like a failure. I feel like why is this so hard and stressful for me?! I think that more often than not all Mom's have stressful days but don't like to talk about it for fear of being singled out as a bad mom or not being a "natural" mom. The thing is that all we can do is our best. Think about your own childhood. Was your Mom perfect? Probably not. I know my own Mom worked very hard and she still was far from perfect and had patience and anger issues.



We are all in this together.

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#42 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdescalzi View Post
I have a 3yr ds and a 9mo dd and everyday is so hard for me. DD is always in arms and nursing day and night and ds is just so active and trying. I try so hard to be patient and loving but I fail everyday. I wake in the morning with a mantra Patience/Peace/Presence....I have great intentions on being patient with the ongoing whining from both of them and the constant "Mommy mommy mommy" but by 8am I am already gritting my teeth and getting angry. I want to be that zen mom but I can't and everynight I go to bed feeling like such a failure. How can I be so bad at mothering when I love them with all my soul??? I don't know how to be more patient and peaceful...what can I do??
Haven't read the whole thread yet - but I had to say... this is me. Most days I think I should have forgone having children, and stuck to dogs. Don't get me wrong, I feel blessed to have them (and love them desperately) but I question my ability to parent them well. It's tough and sad, and I'm in counseling trying to work it out, but it's not easy.

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#43 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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^I feel that way often. I just feel sometimes that parenting does not come as easily to me as it did for my Mom or some other people. I try hard not to compare myself but it is tough.


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#44 of 53 Old 03-11-2010, 12:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Beautiful~Life View Post

When all I hear is about how blissfully happy and zen SAHM's are and how they do arts and crafts all day in their sparkling clean home and then at night when the LO's are asleep they crochet a blanket and read a whole novel I feel like a failure. I feel like why is this so hard and stressful for me?!
I agree so much with this! I'm "friends" with a mom on Facebook whose updates are constantly things like "Painted the kitchen today!" "Finished boys' quilts today; will start two more tomorrow!" And I'm not making these up.

But I think for most of us, the reality is SOOOO much different. I have found this thread to be really honest and liberating...I'm glad that I am not the only one who honestly has questioned whether I am even cut out for this.

To add to all the great replies, something I've found helpful is to read books/blogs that highlight trying to find the beauty in the everyday. Motherhood can be insanely tedious and mundane, but in the words of one of my close mother friends, I try to make my home a "mommy monastery"...simple surroundings, chants on CD, copious amounts of coffee/tea, lots of mindfulness and a slowed down life.

Hugs, Mama...there are so many of us thinking the same thoughts!

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#45 of 53 Old 03-11-2010, 07:35 PM
 
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Breathe. That is my only advice.

I came into parenthood with a really short fuse. When my first child was colicky and screamy, and I felt my blood begin to boil, I breathed. When he whines because he doesn't want to put on his jacket, I breathe. When he screams at me because he isn't getting what he wants, I breathe. You get the picture.

That's the only thing that helps me when I'm in the moment. It is hard, hard, hard and you don't have to do it perfectly or even gracefully. You just do the best you can.
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#46 of 53 Old 03-11-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Beautiful~Life View Post
You know I hope this doesn't sound bad but I totally understand where you are coming from and posts like this make me feel better! Being a mother is such a hard job.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#47 of 53 Old 03-12-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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I agree so much with this! I'm "friends" with a mom on Facebook whose updates are constantly things like "Painted the kitchen today!" "Finished boys' quilts today; will start two more tomorrow!" And I'm not making these up.

But I think for most of us, the reality is SOOOO much different. I have found this thread to be really honest and liberating...I'm glad that I am not the only one who honestly has questioned whether I am even cut out for this.

To add to all the great replies, something I've found helpful is to read books/blogs that highlight trying to find the beauty in the everyday. Motherhood can be insanely tedious and mundane, but in the words of one of my close mother friends, I try to make my home a "mommy monastery"...simple surroundings, chants on CD, copious amounts of coffee/tea, lots of mindfulness and a slowed down life.

Hugs, Mama...there are so many of us thinking the same thoughts!

This. I have a mama on my facebook that is always cooking all these elaborate meals from scratch, canning tomatoes, knitting things, etc. And she has three kids, while I'm sitting over here with two feeling like

to the OP, and to all you mamas going through a rough time! I know I am...my ds is going to be 4 in May and my dd is almost 7 months. I FEEL your pain! I was ok (and I mean just ok, not great) at handling things when ds was two and it was just the two of us. As grateful as I am for our precious DD, I can honestly say that I have NOT handled this transition well. I have been so...unlike me in the past few months, especially towards ds, who is extremely spirited and has been LOVING finding my every button and pushing it several times. Sigh....I feel like it's getting better though, incrementally. I'm just taking it one day at a time, trying really hard to not get overwhelmed with the house, and trying to be gentle with myself. I really like becoming's advice of giving up on being patient and calm, but just focusing on not being mean. We can only do so much you know? And I think that's a good start.

Not much advice, I guess, just wanted you to know there is another mama out there going through something very similar.

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#48 of 53 Old 03-12-2010, 01:52 PM
 
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#49 of 53 Old 03-22-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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to OP: I have no words of wisdom, but my friends and I laugh at this little saying of mine:

"Every day I wake up, determined to be the perfect mother, and every night I go to bed, sure I'm going to hell for being such a bad mom."

Being a mom is really, really, REALLY hard. Did I mention how hard it is? DANG it's hard. s
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#50 of 53 Old 03-22-2010, 05:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautiful~Life View Post
We do the best that we can. If our children are well fed, bathed, loved, and have social and physical outlets I think we are doing a pretty darn good job! We don't have to be perfect and we can't! Some of us have kiddos that are quiet and easy and some (like myself) have two little wild girls that go go go until they drop. Each circumstance is different. I don't think that just being a calm Mom neccessarily makes someone a great Mom.

I think that the more we can talk openly like this about Motherhood the better. When all I hear is about how blissfully happy and zen SAHM's are and how they do arts and crafts all day in their sparkling clean home and then at night when the LO's are asleep they crochet a blanket and read a whole novel I feel like a failure. I feel like why is this so hard and stressful for me?! I think that more often than not all Mom's have stressful days but don't like to talk about it for fear of being singled out as a bad mom or not being a "natural" mom. The thing is that all we can do is our best. Think about your own childhood. Was your Mom perfect? Probably not. I know my own Mom worked very hard and she still was far from perfect and had patience and anger issues.



We are all in this together.
This. This. This!
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#51 of 53 Old 03-23-2010, 04:09 AM
 
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I feel the same way. I feel like a failure as a mother much of the time...especially with my *almost* 8 year old. She is such a difficult child, having behavioral issues that I have NO idea how to handle.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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#52 of 53 Old 04-05-2010, 04:27 AM
 
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I'm new here, so I hope I'm not breaking any rules, but I want to just throw out the option of anti-depressants. It's TOTALLY normal for mom's to be sad, angry, frustrated, guilty, at their wits end, etc. It's an incredibly difficult job. I just don't want to invalidate any bad feelings you're having because I know how it can make you want to pull your hair out. The other posters here have offered excellent suggestions. If I were in your shoes I would probably try them all out before going the medical route. But please don't sacrifice yourself for some ideal.

I speak from personal experience. I know what it's like to KNOW that you're not crazy! You have good reasons for feeling this way! If people really knew how bad things/I am they would understand why I feel this way. I don't want to put chemicals in body. Everybody else can do it but I can't. What do they know that I don't? What do they have that I don't? Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.

I also know what it's like to get to the place where doing it this way just isn't working anymore.

PPD is common and can start anytime within the first year after a baby's birth. If everything else doesn't work, then I suggest visiting your doctor. If you take an anti-depressant and it works I can tell you the first thing that will pop in your head: What the #@%* was I waiting for??? If you try it and you don't need it after all then you just stop taking it. No harm, no foul. If it works for you it doesn't mean you'll have to be on them forever. And it doesn't mean you weren't cut out to be a mom. The natural way to raise children is in a group setting. I guarantee there was more than one native woman who had PPD and dealt with it by shuffling her kids off to the closest woman around. We don't have that luxury today. You don't have to cry yourself to sleep every night. You don't have to dread each day.

Like I said, your feelings are normal, even for someone without PPD. I just want to throw that out there because I wasted so much of my time being miserable when I didn't have to be; I could have been happy old me. I don't want anyone else to lose that precious time. HTH!
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#53 of 53 Old 04-06-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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I read the whole thread and it sounds more like this is a sleep issue. OP and the baby aren't getting the sleep they need to revitalize themselves. I think the boob as a paci needs to be addressed. Take a weekend and just focus on that...like potty training. Have you checked out the sleeping thread?

I bet the minute you sleep 6 hrs straight, you will feel so differently. Literally, all the whining will roll off you, for the most part

The 3 yr old...well that is normal.
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