Just turned down a great job - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-03-2010, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
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I am a sahm and have been for years, my ds is 6, dd is 4. I applied for this part time (20 hours) job that I would have loved, I went to not one but two interviews and then called today to tell them to take my name out of the running. I believe it was the right choice, although we are usually out of money by the end of the month, we are surviving and leaving the kids at least three days a week sounded so hard....my mom was willing to take them but they have school, (we are in a cooperative school so i am there ALOT) and it would have all been turned on its head.

SO, I am still poor, still thinking about whats next but do love the fact that I get to be with the kids for a while longer anyway...

Anyone else been through this type of thing? Please tell me I made the right decision.
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#2 of 5 Old 03-03-2010, 07:48 PM
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Yep, last year I turned down my dream job. It was the job I have said I wanted since I was 17 years old, I had planned for it and thought it would all work out, the person was going to retire just about the same time my youngest was starting kindy. I have been doing the job very part time and was all ready to step in...Then I got pregnant again. youngest dd was only 2 when the switch was to take place and I just couldn't do it so I turned it down. Someone else took the position and I now have at least another 7 years before it will open up again. I still sometimes get made that I gave it up, like when the kids are driving me crazy or we are once again short on money, but I do know it was for the best. My time will come when all the kids are older.
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#3 of 5 Old 03-03-2010, 07:49 PM
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Honestly, I don't think it's a right decision-wrong decision kind of thing. You say that you LOVE being home with the kids, and that you'd have LOVED the job. The way I see it, you were in a win-win situation, and you picked the one that is the bigger win for you and your family AT THIS MOMENT.

There will be jobs out there when you're ready. If you made it to round 2 of the interview in this economy, you must be an attractive candidate to employers in a field you know you'd like .

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-03-2010, 07:55 PM
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Whether it was the "right" decision or not, it was very brave and full of love for your kids. If it would have interfered with a school situation you think is really good for your kids, or whatever else would have had to change, then you probably made a really good decision. When dd was born, I was sure I would go back to work full time after my 1 year maternity leave. As the months wore on and she was nursing all the time still, I started to get a sick feeling. People would ask me if I was looking forward to getting back to work and I just couldn't answer. I finally blurted out to dh that I just didn't want to go back. Like you, we were surviving; but really needed my income. To my surprise, he was fine with me staying home and completely understood. I have gradually returned to work full time; but dd is 6 and I work from home. I am there to pick her up for lunch and after school and we don't need any childcare. I am very glad I made this decision.

I do think that if you WANT to go back to work, you should consider your own needs and how much the extra money might add to your family's quality of life. I think your kids would be fine with your mother looking after them (if you feel comfortable with that). But I once read someone who said not to confuse quality of life with standard of living and that's become my motto, too.

I think you did a great thing for your family and I think it took guts.
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#5 of 5 Old 03-04-2010, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much, these are the best responses I have gotten from anyone!
AngieB, our time WILL come and I think once it is back to work time, it will be for a long time and no matter how awesome the job is we will pine for the days when our kids were little,

blizzardbabe, it IS a win win, you are right, thanks for that perspective,
carfreemama, many days at home with the kids and a blow up pool are so much better than one week on an island....the money and time will come, thanks for that....
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