Not sure if this is where I should go for support,but this Sat is my dear brother's wedding. My brother was raised with his father and I was raised with our mother. Its a long story
My mother was verbally,emotionally and physically abusive towards me growing up. The last time I saw her as a youth was when she was arrested and sent off in handcuffs for choking me. I was 17.
When I was maybe 24 I decided it was time to forgive her. The trip ended up with her dog attacking me, she blaming me for the attack and then the real slap in the face was that her new boyfriend ( ex con) had " White Power" tattooed on his back.
Yes this is sicker,but the sickest thing is that I am black and my mother is white. She also failed to mention that she was ever married to my father and also skipped the part that she raised a daughter. This is a whole other issue that I have worked through in therapy. I've had to just let that one go.
My brother told me there was a chance she was coming to the wedding. I know that I am now the adult, I can now stand up to her,but these past few days I have been feeling sick with worry over seeing her. Its not that I am afraid of her,but I don't want her to make a scene at his wedding involving me.
Usually her thing is to to start crying and try to hug me with more crying and my brother is not having a large wedding. Maybe 40 people.
Ive been married for 11 yrs, she has not met my husband ( he will be there). She has not met my child and that's how I'll keep it.
To me, our relationship is over and this needs to be conveyed somehow if she decides to pull a drama scene.
I do not want this to embarrass my brother on his day and I'm hoping to garner some advice on how to deal with this situation quietly and diplomatically,but she is so unpredictable.
My friends have just told me to ignore her,but that's just not going to play out so simply.
All I want to say to her is that "this is my brother's special day, I prefer not to speak with you and I cut you out of my life to save myself; now I'm happy" then walk away.
I hope its that simple. Thank you for allowing me to post this difficult thing I'm dealing with. Any advice would be appreciated.