change my name or get divorced? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 32 Old 07-28-2010, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Vaske View Post
Why don't you change HER name instead of yours? Pick out a nice name for her like Eunice or Mildred or Larry, and start using that whenever you think of her. I think this would be a good first step toward getting her out of your marriage.

As Storm Bride said, brilliant and funny!!!

Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

This is actually brilliant...but sooooo funny.

OP: Do you feel that when he sees your name, he's actually seeing her name...or her?

No, it's just me who's still hung up on it.
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#32 of 32 Old 07-28-2010, 09:00 PM
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18 years is a long, long time to be miserable and a long, long time to not forgive. And you have every right to feel however you feel - maybe he doesn't deserve to be forgiven - but for YOUR sake, you either need to forgive or move on. It would look as if, at this point, you aren't able to forgive, and if he's shown regret and taken the appropriate steps, etc., there honestly isn't anything more he can do. (Not saying that cheating is acceptable by any means - just that if it happens, you can choose to forgive, or you can decide to leave the relationship... you've been living in limbo an unusually long time.)

He can still be a good father if you aren't married any more - a loving dad is a loving dad, regardless of marital status.

As for, "should I divorce dh and look for someone else who hasn't hurt me so deeply?", divorcing doesn't mean you have to be with another person right away. It sounds like you need to find happiness within yourself.
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