I'm somewhat confused. Your main points of contention are that the child has no bangs, eats frozen pancakes, and drinks koolaid? Without knowing any of the backstory, I also gather that the child has been diagnosed with FTT?
I'm not quite sure how not having bangs plays into all of this... My daughters are 7½ and 2. They do not have bangs. I have no intention of ever having bangs cut (unless they request them later on.) Is the in-between stage somewhat awkward? Why yes, it is. We get by with hair-clippies and such. But I would hardly constitute my preference for natural, uncut hair to be neglect.
On the subject of koolaid and frozen pancakes... While I have never offered my children koolaid to drink, I am aware that there are many parents who find nothing wrong with it. One could argue that at least it's not carbonated or caffeinated... But of course it's not as healthy as plain water. However, different beverages choices do not constitute neglect. In fact, many children (for whatever reason) refuse to drink plain water at all, so I would think that providing a water-based (non-alcoholic) beverage would be the exact opposite of neglect in that case.
Frozen pancakes? My oldest daughter used to be very tiny. She gained weight painfully slow. I think the only thing that saved us from a FTT diagnosis was the fact that she never actually lost weight, and we had an ultra-supportive-BFing-advocate kinda pediatrician. Still, he told us to feed her whatever she wanted in an attempt to get calories in her. She was very particular, and never really expressed an interest in solid foods until I weaned her. At that point, I tried my best to offer only healthy (high fat/ high calorie) foods... but invariably someone else would offer her junk citing the doctor's "feed her whatever she wants" advice. This made feeding her very difficult. I couldn't afford to play stubborn mommy. She would literally starve herself rather than eat something that didn't appeal to her. She's gotten much better over the years, but at 7½ there are still days where she wants nothing but frozen burritos for every meal. I prefer not to fight with her. Do I offer healthy foods? Yes. Does she eat them? Sometimes. But if it's a choice between her eating a frozen burrito or her not eating at all, then I choose to feed her the frozen burrito. Is my child neglected? Not even in the slightest.
I guess my point is that I'm failing to see anything to worry significantly about, let alone call CPS over (though I realize that you've already acknowledged the fact that the 'neglect' isn't "enough" to warrant a CPS call.) I realize that you think she's addicted to pain pills, I've seen many people addicted to them myself and it's quite sad. But on the flip-side, there are also many people that NEED pain relief on a daily basis. Of course, I understand the small-town drug prescribing doctor mentality you're alluding to. I know that doctors don't always do the right thing in that respect, and that patients don't always provide them with the information necessary to make accurate diagnoses and prescription medication decisions. But it is entirely possibly that your first-cousin actually suffers from ailments that require pain management medications. If your only proof of her addiction is the apparent "neglect" of her child, then I really wouldn't think there would be a leg to stand on. Along those lines, I also don't think you really have much to worry about. I could be totally wrong. I don't know this woman, nor do I fully understand the situation your describing. But the concerns you're mentioning here don't seem to be dire enough to even warrant non-CPS intervention. It sounds more like you don't agree with her parenting choices and are working yourself up over nothing.
To everyone suggesting CPS... There are many children actually being severely neglected and abused. Those are the children that would benefit from being removed from their homes (as the risk of them ending up in a less-than-stellar foster home would be preferable to the risk of leaving them in their real homes.) However, because of so many BS calls from people unwilling to accept the fact that not everyone parents as they do, the system is overloaded beyond belief. Children who desperately need intervention are not receiving it. Loving parents who are simply making the best decisions for their families are being put under the microscope and suffering the stress and inconvenience of an unwarranted investigation by CPS. The problem rests heavily on the mentality that just because someone isn't making the same choices as you, then they must automatically be making the wrong ones. Seriously. Taking prescribed medication and feeding your child koolaid and frozen breakfast foods? Seriously not a CPS emergency.
I'm me. In love with this guy. We're bringing up two girls: Big A (8) and Little A (3)