Thank you so much for your warm replies. Maybe we can explore more deeply and keep this thread alive. I would also be willing to email to talk about this. It is something I think about alot.
one mentioned 'you may be surprised one day at far he has come because of your gentle nudges.'
I already see evidence of this, but I also feel that gentle nudges help both partners. After sitting and brewing on a topic for a while, one of us usually goes along with the other. For instance, I have wanted chickens so greatly for the past few years for my own eggs and maybe some day for meat. My dh was addiment(sp?) we not get them, they attract rats, they're dirty, on and on. Last yr we saw a documentary on chickens and saw the large factory coops and the horrible conditions, and since then I was buying free-range organic feed eggs. I researched how to build a coop, how to keep 'em. My dh told me to stop talking about it, he was becoming aggitated with our opposite desires for chickens. Well the day before Easter, a friend called to say she had the dozen and did I still want half
I had taold her that I might be able to convince my dh to have 'em. Because this was the last possible moment to have chicks, he agreed to go. We all picked out a baby chick and we now have 4 chickens in a deluxe hand made (by dh) coop. He now loves the chickens. He now tells cute baby chick stories.
I am not complaining, I am thinking 'deep thoughts' on how and why our life has to be like this. I don't want to be cheerleader for everything I believe in. Nobody had to convince me having a compost pile was the right thing to do, I found out about it, became aware, then did it.
I am so lucky to have new friends(3 yrs and less) whom have similar views on the world and about life and have healthy relationships with their partners. I don't think everyone else is perfect. But it is nice to have other 'role models' Dh and I didn't meet under the best circumstances, we didn't plan out our lives, our dreams, our goals and are now living it, we plan as we go.
And I can totally relate to when I am alone and have the time to think about things, I feel how alone I am. I am very proud of how far I've come and where I am and where I want to go. I try not to get confused with being spoiled and wanting everyithing to be perfect in my life. I am simply tired of hitting a brick wall all the time, sometimes I only have me to break it down, not a mac truck!