Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West of the Sierras East of the Sea
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Oh, I get enraged when anyone wakes baby too! Sounds like an extreme living situation in your case though...not quite the barking dog or occasional weed whacker that's in my neighborhood.
For the traffic, maybe something like this? http://www.amazon.com/Step-2-7127KR-...d_sim_sbs_hi_7
I think you can also get a sign that reminds people they will be towed.
If your neighbors agree, maybe petition your town for speed bumps or traffic islands?
For baby, maybe a white noise machine, even just outside the room or in the window, between baby and the street? Or a fan?
I'm sure the bar serves underage drinkers...perhaps the police should look into it? Fines & cracking down on underage might make it less popular.
Breathe deeply and watch your favorite TV show?
Sorry, that's all I've got! Good luck.
How long have you lived there? Are you still in the adjustment period? I have found that almost any situation eventually normalizes to becoming the every day routine. It just takes time and a few coping strategies .
For the parking situation, can you set up cones or some other barrier? It may be easier than waiting for a tow truck.
I have never yelled at my neighbors but I totally understand. I have some really mean and dishonest neighbors. We also have mean dogs whose owners make threats to others and get away with it. We have lots of speeding and one-time traffic which implies drug activity. There have been renters who have done awful things to other neighbors. I could go on and on at the direspectful and infuriating behaviour that has caused much stress for me. I have not yelled. I am not the type to.
Here are my coping mechanisms.... I pray a lot. I write. I journal. I distract and shield my kids from it. I have taken to articulating it here on MDC at times but mostly I try to just pray and write about it.
I would not yell anymore. It does not accomplish anything.
I have to ask....where is your husband in all of this? Can't you ask him to deal with it so that you can deal with the baby? What does he say? What does he want to do about the continual and cyclical stress? I would talk a lot with him about it.
Earth-loving, birth-loving, body-working, simple-livin' mama to two sweet girls and fiance to a hard-working man
I am not religious so I cannot see myself praying. Although journaling is a possibility I have never been able to do so in the past because I can't get past the silliness of writing to myself. I don't know why.
My husband is a very quiet introverted guy who is terrified at any sort of confrontation. His coping mechanism is to pretend like nothing is happening. It does not stress him out like it does me. I tried to talk to him last night about why exactly that was, and it seems that he takes no ownership to our living space so does not feel any need to protect it. His solution is to just stay inside and hope everyone just goes away. Sure, eventually they do, but there is always someone else to replace them. So he figures the stress is my problem and I should just get over it...that it is what it is. However that is not a mindset I have ever embraced and I don't plan on starting now.
Plus I think he is more terrified of having someone recognize him and then he might actually have to *gasp* talk to them.
I guess by inference he also does not see any of this activity/behavior as dangerous to our son as I do. I shudder to think what will happen if DS ever figures out how to open the front door. If he ever gets into the street he's a goner. Not only that but sometimes the noise actually scares DS and that pisses me off even more. I mean the shrieking woman kinda scared me because she was off the wall and just went on and on and on...DS should NOT have to live with stuff like that in his life. See even thinking about it now I get so mad. Grrrrrr!
Your neighborhood sounds awful!
|It does not stress him out like it does me.|
I completely sympathize with you. I'm not sure whether I can articulate any coping mechanisms. My first thought was to recommend that you move...because it does sound like a frustrating situation.
However, I do have a few thoughts:
These people ARE thoughtless. But to think in "shoulds" about them (as, they should know better) is not helpful for you. It is only going to get you angrier.
Your "neighbors" are a bunch of young, immature, clueless college kids. Their behavior is typical, if obnoxious. Kids that age don't think in terms of neighborhoods or in terms of being considerate. When I was their age, I didn't have screaming fights in front of houses, but I probably did some stupid, thoughtless things.
I think the problem is that you are trying to control/change behavior that can't be changed. That's why you are getting frustrated. Your going out and telling people to shut up is understandable, but unfortunately, it is not going to change behavior. I also think your reaction is normal and somehow connected to your being a mother. You are just trying to protect your baby. You want a safe environment for your baby.
I think, since you said you cannot move, you need to give up trying to change or improve the behavior (if you really feel that the police will be no help). Someone mentioned prayer. What about meditation?