Join Date: Aug 2010
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Hi, from another introvert!
My only advice is to be mostly honest with people. Express a thanks for the invite and give your regrets that you do not have enough energy for that particular event/dinner/outing.
I definitely need a few days to recover from events, so I now take that into account when planning my week. My dh is so incredibly supportive of how these activities suck all my energy that he always gives me an out when he has a work related event. I think I would crumble if he expected me to attend every function!
As for family members, I have scaled down MY expectations of what I SHOULD do....I call it the "should trap". Whenever I hear myself say "I should go to so and so's.." I stop myself and really question why should I?
I have learned a lot about self care and do not feel guilty anymore for sitting on the couch and reading for a few hours, or taking a long bath after an event.
I have also learned that people are not really as invested in my coming to their event or not as I think they are, they are thinking much more about their own life and not what I am doing or saying! Sure they might be disappointed at my no, but they get over it!
I wish that I had had the courage to say no prior to having kids, to realize that my needs were important.
It took having my children to realize that if I give everything over to others, there wasn't much left for my kids. Then it followed that in order to be happier as a person I needed to say no for myself!
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