Being distracted by other people's opinions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 10-23-2010, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How do you cut through all the noise of what other people are saying you should do with your life, and really get down to what it is that you really want?

You know what I'm sayin'?

I *think* that I know what I want, and I *think* I feel it deep in my gut. But then someone comes along with a very good argument for going in the other direction. And then I get confused.

I think about it all, make pro-con lists, talk to a few more people, get set on a path, and then someone ELSE comes along and brings up a few more points, and I'm confused again!

At what point can you trust yourself to just follow your gut/heart and do whatever it is that you feel is right? And stop listening to everyone else?
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#2 of 7 Old 10-23-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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Live in the spirit. Feel what is alive and stay in the flow. Look forward. Don't fight losing battles. Remain aligned with progress.

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#3 of 7 Old 10-23-2010, 06:32 PM
 
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I think you should do with your life whatever really resonates with you deep down in your gut. If someone comes along and gives you advice that doesn't feel right for you and the life you are envisioning for yourself, then you should brush it off. If their advice does resonate with you, then consider it. Perhaps there are multiple good options for your life path? For me, the easiest way to sort through such serious life decisions is through meditation.

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#4 of 7 Old 10-23-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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I heard this recently which really resonated with me. (And I think it very appropriate in this instance.) Nobody knows you or your plans like you. Nobody prays for direction in your life like you do. They can have opinions all they want. Everyone does. But just because someone has an opinion doesn't mean they've put the thought into it like you've put thought into what you want to do. (Even the well meaning people.)

And you don't even have to be spiritual for this to be applicable. You can substitute: thought, discernment, contemplation for the word prayer in the above sentence and come to the same conclusion.

No matter what good intentions other people have for your life, they simply don't put the same kind of thought and consideration into your life as you do.

Trust yourself.

Give yourself the respect you deserve, listen to yourself first.
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#5 of 7 Old 10-23-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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I think I know what you mean. For me, it's the ADD that I have. Every day changes with what I should do, how I should feel, what I should like, what path is best. It's hard to sift through all the input to determine what is really me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get there. Is that what you're talking about?

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#6 of 7 Old 10-24-2010, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by applecider View Post
I think I know what you mean. For me, it's the ADD that I have. Every day changes with what I should do, how I should feel, what I should like, what path is best. It's hard to sift through all the input to determine what is really me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get there. Is that what you're talking about?
No, not exactly. It's more that when I have a decision that could almost go either way and be fine, that is where I get confused. There can be good arguments for both sides of the issue. It gets really hard to make the final decision, because there are so many pros to each side.
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#7 of 7 Old 10-24-2010, 10:11 PM
 
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There's a fantastic book called "I Know I'm in There Somewhere" about finding your Authentic Self.

But to speak directly to your question, I think that you really have to ask yourself why you might choose "Yes" and why you might choose "No" and then look very carefully at the reasons you give.

For instance, is your argument based on something YOU believe deeply, or is it based on something you heard as a child or from someone else?

Just because an argument makes LOGICAL sense does not mean it is YOUR answer to the question, especially when you could 'go either way' as you mentioned.

The book I mentioned has a really great outline of steps and some great exercises for divining which of your internal voices are yours and which are intruders, whom you should listen to but not necessarily obey.

Every woman should read it.
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