Law of Attraction/Negative Spouse - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 12:29 AM - Thread Starter
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Okay, so I have been hearing and reading A LOT about the Law of Attraction lately. And it makes sense. I feel that I have been doing a fairly good job at keeping my eye on the right things.

BUT.... My DH has a horrible attitude, about everything. I will say, "When we're financially stable, we'll be able to ______." And he'll say, "We're always going to be poor, so it doesn't matter."


"When we get full custody of (DS) we'll finally be able to move somewhere else." And his response "You're never gonna get it, so we're stuck here."

He is programmed to believe nothing good will ever happen to him.

How do you deal with a negative spouse when you're trying to manifest positivity?

Single mama to DS8 and DD4. Feminist. Queer. Atheist. Poly. Full-time poli sci and econ student.
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#2 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 01:26 AM
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I don't agree with the law of attraction when it comes to material things and money etc so I would just apply it in terms of putting a lot of positive energy into your relationship with your DH and expecting the best from him.
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#3 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 11:01 AM
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I think that you are mixing 2 things that don't go together:

1. being positive

2. Your Dh.

I'm sure that your DH has many wonderful qualities, this just isn't one of them. Since you are using LoA, use it ON him. Make a list of his wonderful traits, and then focus on those. Take your focus off his short comings (we all have them).

Next, do other things besides talk to him to work on your LoA stuff. I like to journal. You can also post here, talk to your friends etc. For now, just leave him out of it.

There are zillions of resources on LoA, but my very, very favorite one is "Ask and It Is Given" by Ester and Jerry Hicks. What is so great about this book is that the last half is Processes you can use to change your vibration. It's like little games to play to work on manifesting. None of them require getting your DH on board!

One of my favorite is called "The Creative Workshop" and it's a journaling exercise. You write down short list of what you desire, and then go back and write down WHY you want those things.

For example;

I want full custody of my son because..

and just write down what comes to mind.

"When you think about why you want something, you usually soften resistance, but when you think about when it will come to you or how it will come or who will help it to come, you often add resisitance."

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#4 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 03:11 PM
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I think Linda had a great response.
I only wanted to add that when manifesting, remember to speak in the present tense. I have, I am, I believe, I know etc.

Using the term "when" is actually putting the energy out there that whatever it is you desire is always out there somewhere, but not in your present tense; it is unreachable because who knows "when" is.

To rephrase your examples, you might say:
I feel the flow of abundance at all times that allows us to be financially stable.
I accept the financial abundance.

and as Linda said, you can use this towards your dh and relationship with him. You might try:
I accept my partner to be perfectly on his path.
I appreciate the positivity in my relationship.
I enjoy my husband completely and appreciate the grounding, positive aspects he brings into my (our) life.

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#5 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 04:05 PM
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I'm not on board with the law of attraction, but I agree and totally see how attitude presents and changes opportunities.

With my negative Dh, I just lead by example. He has a harder time being negative around me when I smile and can, "No honey that's not how our lives will be."

No point in discussion, its negative talk in his head he will have to change for himself. But being around positive people and thoughts will make him want to be more positive.

biggrinbounce.gifDS 10/09  sleepytime.gifDS 2/17/11 stork-suprise.gif Blessing #3 sometime 2/13


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#6 of 7 Old 11-03-2010, 06:26 PM
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I don't believe in the law of attraction anymore, but I do see that everyone is/has energy and that does have an affect similiar to a butterfly effect.

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." -Vincent Van Gogh
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#7 of 7 Old 11-22-2010, 06:34 AM
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i think i'm going to print out jamie and linda's answers. i need to incorporate the processes in my life more! the only other one i remember is carrying around some money to mentally spend it several times a day. it's hard to think of that money as spendable though when you're on food stamps and even $20 is tough to get out of the budget.


that said, my advice to op is also to focus on you and stop talking to your dh about it.

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