I think that it's great that you are making space to wind down. It sounds like you've been taking care of your family while doing this service, but not taking care of yourself.
As far as the housework stuff, I have things fairly streamlined and I'm not spending every day on it. Yet I find that my attitude towards it effects the way our home feels. Making a space for my family to live, to grow, to connect, etc isn't a life wasted. I think that there is something in this for your "personal growth." If the attitude you have that basic care of one's things, clothes, etc. isn't important, then wouldn't you be passing the message to your children than taking time to take care of themselves isn't important? I think that if we have a correct attitude towards the clothes that keep us warm, the beds that allow us to rest, the books that feed our mind, etc., that "housekeeping" has a very different meaning than it does for people who are just going through the motions without any mindfulness.
There's an old proverb:
Before enlightenment, chopping wood, carrying water. After enlightenment, chopping wood, carrying water.
I have tried very hard to take care of my family. My husband & I have spent a lot of time talking about this, and he really believes that I do too much for DC and that we should move away from that. My son, in particular, needs me to require more of him.
Housework - I am growing through thinking about these things. It's just not toward thinking "hmm, I should do these things" and more toward thinking about how my life should be as much as possible about enjoying my time and making the best decisions possible for the benefit of my family. I don't think that hiring a laundry service equals not caring for our things. We're not tossing our clothes when they're dirty or just not being careful with them. We're recognizing that we're lucky enough to have the option to outsource some of the labor we *don't* enjoy in exchange for things we do.
I still haven't figured out how to work in time to go to the classes on my illness that my doctor recommended or how to work in an hour of cardio everyday (which is more once I factor in the time to get ready, shower after, etc.) DS was home on Monday, both DC on Tuesday. DD will have to be home tomorrow according to daycare. Next week we're traveling for Thanksgiving. It feels like good & stable is always "next week."