How hard it is for you to accept your limitations? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 12-31-2010, 03:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dancianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Where is the line between self-discipline and self-acceptance?  Help.  I needed space and down-time today, and I feel so guilty for having taken it when there is so much that I needed to get done.  But I'm just making myself miserable comparing myself to others with more energy and less need for down time.  I tried to use my self-discipline but I just got more miserable!  Does this ever happen to you?  What do you do?

 

-Dancy

 

Dancianna is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 8 Old 12-31-2010, 03:43 PM
 
Sol_y_Paz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: La Biblioteca
Posts: 1,905
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Everyone needs some down time.  It is beneficial to recharge.  

I constantly fight it when I am tired and exhausted rather than taking breaks or committing to less, I try to compensate and end up wearing myself out.  I am not sure I "accept" very well as a general rule.  It is a work in progress and a hard balancing act.


happy family!joy.gif we winner.jpgfemalesling.GIFnocirc.gif

Sol_y_Paz is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 12-31-2010, 04:03 PM
 
jeteaa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Out there
Posts: 898
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

For me, I'm really starting to KNOW who I am, what I like, how I function.... and what I've come up with is not exactly the kind of person I want to be. so I have to decide what I can change, such as my energy level should be effected if I exercise more, get better sleep etc. And things I just have to accept about myself such as my introvert nature. I think this is an ongoing process for all people, as we age and life happens.... the we need to adjust for that.

jeteaa is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 12-31-2010, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dancianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sol_y_Paz View Post

Everyone needs some down time.  It is beneficial to recharge.  

I constantly fight it when I am tired and exhausted rather than taking breaks or committing to less, I try to compensate and end up wearing myself out.  I am not sure I "accept" very well as a general rule.  It is a work in progress and a hard balancing act.


Boy do I hear you.  Thank you.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by jeteaa View Post

For me, I'm really starting to KNOW who I am, what I like, how I function.... and what I've come up with is not exactly the kind of person I want to be. so I have to decide what I can change, such as my energy level should be effected if I exercise more, get better sleep etc. And things I just have to accept about myself such as my introvert nature. I think this is an ongoing process for all people, as we age and life happens.... the we need to adjust for that.



Yes, I never realized until recently that I really am an introvert.  I love being around people so I thought I was not, but now I realize that in many ways for me, the need for down time is because I need to recharge away (but not too far!) from other people.

 

I have been working on the exercise piece.  It sounds like you've really given this some thought and I appreciate your insight.

Dancianna is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 01-01-2011, 10:47 AM
 
*bejeweled*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a timely thread. I totally understand how you feel.

My New Year's Resolution is: To Be Kind and Gentle To Me. To Do One Thing A Day.

I always feel better when I take it easy and do things little by little. I used to have tons of energy. I no longer do. But I still get things done if I break them down into manageable parts and take breaks.

When I say do one thing a day, I mean do one major thing a day. Like if I take DD on an outing---just do that. No more. If I do a grocery trip--just do that. No more.

I still get the daily stuff done around the house, but it helps if I tell myself to accomplish more by doing less.

We deserve breaks. I am committed to taking care of myself first.

Look at many men for inspiration. They're masters at making sure their needs are met.

Me afro.jpg reading.gif Wife and Mom to modifiedartist.gif cat.gifdog2.gif.
*bejeweled* is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 01-01-2011, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dancianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by *bejeweled* View Post

What a timely thread. I totally understand how you feel.

My New Year's Resolution is: To Be Kind and Gentle To Me. To Do One Thing A Day.

I always feel better when I take it easy and do things little by little. I used to have tons of energy. I no longer do. But I still get things done if I break them down into manageable parts and take breaks.

When I say do one thing a day, I mean do one major thing a day. Like if I take DD on an outing---just do that. No more. If I do a grocery trip--just do that. No more.

I still get the daily stuff done around the house, but it helps if I tell myself to accomplish more by doing less.

We deserve breaks. I am committed to taking care of myself first.

Look at many men for inspiration. They're masters at making sure their needs are met.


LOL on the men!  Bejeweled, I really appreciate what you've written here.  What a great new year's resolution.  I know how hard it is to want so much to do more than you can do, and prioritizing and feeling good about one accomplishment in a day - along with the huge accomplishment of another day having cared for your precious child - makes good sense.  It must be even harder having had lots of energy at a different point in your life to adjust to the current lower level of energy.

Thank you for sharing this.

-Dancy

Dancianna is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 01-02-2011, 01:12 PM
 
K1329's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I struggle with letting the guilt of having "me time" go, but, also realize that having that down time makes me a better mom, wife, and a happier person. It's such a hard balance. I've told my kids that "mommies and daddies need time to be alone, just like we have mommy/dd day", and similar statements on a regular basis. I've also told them that I need some time to relax and to go play elsewhere for awhile. You know what? They're okay with it. And, I also believe it all to be true - that taking time for yourself is one of the ways (for me) to actually be a better parent.

 

Since becoming a parent, I've also struggled with lowering my standards - the list of things to get done is simply, physically impossible. It's okay for the house to be a little messy once in awhile. It's okay for the clothes to get folded the next day. It's okay for dd to miss the occasional birthday party.

 

Try to let the guilt go. If you don't take of yourself, then how can you take care of others? And yes, there will always be someone with more energy, more resources. Try not to compare - just do what's best for you and your family - even if that means an afternoon of rest!

K1329 is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 01-02-2011, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
Dancianna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by K1329 View Post

I struggle with letting the guilt of having "me time" go, but, also realize that having that down time makes me a better mom, wife, and a happier person. It's such a hard balance. I've told my kids that "mommies and daddies need time to be alone, just like we have mommy/dd day", and similar statements on a regular basis. I've also told them that I need some time to relax and to go play elsewhere for awhile. You know what? They're okay with it. And, I also believe it all to be true - that taking time for yourself is one of the ways (for me) to actually be a better parent.

 

Since becoming a parent, I've also struggled with lowering my standards - the list of things to get done is simply, physically impossible. It's okay for the house to be a little messy once in awhile. It's okay for the clothes to get folded the next day. It's okay for dd to miss the occasional birthday party.

 

Try to let the guilt go. If you don't take of yourself, then how can you take care of others? And yes, there will always be someone with more energy, more resources. Try not to compare - just do what's best for you and your family - even if that means an afternoon of rest!


Thank you, K.  I think sometimes the hardest part is realizing that an afternoon of rest really is the best thing for me and my family.  I'm having a much better day today, but remembering what you've said here is crucial to being the best mom I can be on those days when I just torture myself by pushing, getting irritable, making myself crazy for not being able to do what I believe i should.  It's almost never crucial for my family that i complete the work I think is so vital.  whew.  back to work now! 

Dancianna is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off