books on anger management/assertive communication/how to "fight fair"??? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 01-14-2011, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm putting together a list, for a close friend who's struggling badly with this. He is having trouble in his marriage-- to do with not being able to deal constructively with his anger, or communicate without resorting to attacks or passive-aggressive tactics, and stuff like that. He's really touchy about all this "communication stuff" being "for women" and while that leaves me eyesroll.gif, I want to be sensitive to that need. And basic-- it's got to be really simple.

Is there such a book? I'd love any suggestions you might have.

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#2 of 6 Old 01-14-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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Non violent communication" by Rosenberg

You might get a copy and read through it to see if it is what you are looking for. It's a book about how to talk to people so they feel heard. It isn't about anger management but it could help keep disagreements from spiraling

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 6 Old 01-15-2011, 09:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

 

Non violent communication" by Rosenberg

You might get a copy and read through it to see if it is what you are looking for. It's a book about how to talk to people so they feel heard. It isn't about anger management but it could help keep disagreements from spiraling

I think the main issue he's having is that he has only two ways to deal with problems-- to attack, in a mean personal way, or to stuff his feelings and let them stew. He has no idea how to say something like, "I'm angry, because you are spending money we agreed you wouldn't spend," or even something as simple as, "I am mad because your dirty laundry is all over the bedroom." He instead resorts to stewing and fuming and complaining to me about it, or something like, "what the hell is wrong with your mother that she never taught you to clean up your %$##^^ clothes?" If there was a total opposite of articulate, it would be this guy.

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#4 of 6 Old 01-15-2011, 06:35 PM
 
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This would be a great book for both of you to read together. It's also very "guy friendly"

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#5 of 6 Old 04-17-2012, 02:55 PM
 
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OP, I know this thread is old, but did you ever find a good book? Your friend sounds like my husband and he actually said he would like some kind of a book.

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#6 of 6 Old 04-22-2012, 06:57 AM
 
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I also like "People Skills."

 

Both of these books have more of a "workplace" feel, both in their examples and the types of relationships they describe. I think that might give a more "for everyone" (ie gender-neutral) flair. They defintely don't read like a "101 ways to talk to your man" cosmo article.

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