I just found this thread, and I thought I'd share my story:
In not-brief, I began obsessing about my weight (even though I was already underweight) around puberty, age 13. It was about having control over the way my body was changing. I hated that I kept gaining (again, just normal growth weight) and I had no control over it. My mother battled obesity for years, and I think that affected how I veiwed my battle with the scale.
I dabbled with anorexic behaviour and bulimia, but never went 'all out', probably just because I was naturally thin, and It wasn't hard to keep the weight off. Eventually, around age 20, I finally filled out to a regular adult shape. I hate number talk, because it always seems competitive and harmful, so I won't discuss height/weight details here. Anyway, I began restricting more, thowing up more, just to maintain. Then at 22 yrs, I mocved out and left the country to live on my won. I was lonely, had no friends.... so I obsessed. The restriction became crazycrazycrazy, and when I did eat, I threw it up. It became something beyond my contral after six months or so. I was losing a lot of weight,but I looked and felt sick, and I was spending tons of money on binges and new clothes, because my size kept gowing down.
At one point, I was calling sick to work everyday, because I couldn't stop the binge/purge cycle long enought to even go to work. That's when I was hospitalized. Six weeks at Johns Hopkins. It didn't cure, me, but it did put me back into control. And with my boyfriend's support and my own future goals (like wanting to be a mother), I was able to regain control. Oh- and medication. Pills help.
Now, at 24, I consider myself recovered. I'm married to the previously mentioned boyfriend, and we are expecting our first child in December.
I have to admit, morning sickness was a difficult time. There's a fine line between feeling nauseated and using that as an excuse to throw up. But I've kept sane, and done well.
And for the first time in my life.... ever. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, and I look forward to getting bigger!
Anyway,eating disorders suck, and I applaud people who are brave enough to call it a problem, and to do something about it.
My advice to those who want to recover and/or stay recovered:
-avoid comparing numbers... ever. I don't allow myself to know others' height/weight info, and I never give mine (heel, I don't even know mine!)
-for me, I find it neccesary to not even own a scale. They weight my at the OBs office, and that's all (at first I stood backwards on the scale there so I wouldn't see the numbers)
-keep in mind the example you want to set for your children *this inspires me a LOT*
-remember that food is just fuel, and take it day by day
If anyone ever wants to chat, feel free to PM me.