Way Stressed and taking it out on hubby - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-04-2011, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're in the process of buying our first home and it's been way stressful. The realtor we ended up working with doesn't seem to have a clue about anything but it's too late now to make a change. It looked good for getting the house, but now we found out there is another offer on it. And the thing that makes me mad, is if the realtor had her stuff together it would have been a done deal.

 

So far the process has lasted about 3 weeks. The thing is I'm not mad at my husband none of this is his fault but he seems to be bringing out the worst in me. Beyond that every little thing seems to be bothering me. Stuff that I could normally ignore is getting under my skin.

 

Our current living arrangement is us staying with DH's parents. It's not bad, but it's starting to grate on me. Maybe because getting our own place is so close.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions for coping with the stress? I don't want to keep snapping over the little things but I'm having trouble dealing.


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#2 of 4 Old 04-09-2011, 08:22 PM
 
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Since you're aware, that's a good thing.  Use that - apologize for what you've been doing, explain where it is coming from, and maybe even set up a code word that is funny with your DH so that he can use it when you are flying off the handle.  Or police yourself - count to 20 every time before a mean word comes out of your mouth - think about what it is REALLY about and see if that helps.

 

Tjej

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#3 of 4 Old 04-10-2011, 05:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tjej View Post

Since you're aware, that's a good thing.  Use that - apologize for what you've been doing, explain where it is coming from, and maybe even set up a code word that is funny with your DH so that he can use it when you are flying off the handle.  Or police yourself - count to 20 every time before a mean word comes out of your mouth - think about what it is REALLY about and see if that helps.

 

Tjej


 

This is what we did in a similar situation.

 

For about 2 years I was on and off of fertility drugs.  They made me into a raging bitch.  I could feel it happening but could not stop it.  So frustrating for us both.  We had a code word - either of us could say it and it meant I needed some quiet time and I could just leave the room, go up stairs and calm down.

 

House buying can be so stressful but it will get better.  (((Hugs)))
 

 

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#4 of 4 Old 04-10-2011, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks to both of you for replies. I'll suggest the code word tonight and hopefully that will help. I'm trying walking away for a few mins when I get frustrated. Or grabbing a glass of water. Just something other then snapping/continuing the argument. 

 

I think things will be a lot easier when we move. At the moment we're staying with his parents which is also stressful for both of us. I moved here from Canada, he was staying with his parents due to major sickness the year before. The cost of paper work for my green card kept us from getting an apartment at first, then he was told that he'd be getting a promotion and moving to Indiana in a few months. So we didn't see the point of looking. The months turned into half a year and things fell through but he got a promotion here. So we decided to buy a house.

 

Now that it's looking like we'll be moving out in two months or less, it just seems like things are way more stressful for everyone. I've been told that it's normal, but that doesn't make it any easier. But we're working through it one day at a time.


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