Is this emotional abuse? (great in-depth article for anyone dealing with this question or the fallout) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 04-28-2011, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've dealt with this IRL, still dealing with fallout, which is how I came across this article tonight.  Thought I'd post it since there are a few threads of women handling this or questioning this right now.  I found reading thru the article to be pretty awakening.  I just want to find my spark again, and got stuck in a situation that snuffed me out for many years.  This article tapped a few nerves in me... maybe it could help someone else.  Wishing strength and light for anyone who connects with the words in this link.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/emotional_abuse.shtml

 

(i know, i know, the link title is odd, the article it links is really head on about breaking down the guts of this type of relationship and has a lot of wisdom within... give it a shot, despite the link title.)

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#2 of 11 Old 05-02-2011, 05:53 AM
 
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Really good article! Thanks for posting!


"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#3 of 11 Old 05-02-2011, 06:57 AM
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Great article. And at the end of it is http://drirene.com/angry_affirmations.htm , which made me think of my last nutjob. But it made me laugh, rather than cringe, so that's valuable.

 

Thanks for sharing!

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#4 of 11 Old 05-11-2011, 11:46 AM
 
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Thanks for the article. It's time to have a talk with someone.

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#5 of 11 Old 05-11-2011, 12:24 PM
 
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Thanks for posting, it's a very accurate article concerning abuse in a relationship.


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#6 of 11 Old 05-19-2011, 06:55 PM
 
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Thank you. I could not have come across this at a better time.

 

THANK YOU!


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#7 of 11 Old 07-22-2011, 05:03 PM
 
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I am reading the article, thanks for posting it.

 

I have thought for a long time that my husband fits a lot of these traits.  I am not in a position to leave but I am moving out of our room. Even doing this is hard for me as I feel guilty about doing it.  But our marriage is a sham at this point.   I remember reading somewhere about 'crazy making' behavior that abusive people have, and I believe that definitely fits.  I can hardly think straight sometimes.

 

It is so frustrating dealing with him.  If he's griping at me about something and I tell him I don't appreciate it, then I am the one who is 'looking for a fight.' Arghhh........

 

I feel like wrting much more but I can't find the words.

Thanks again for this article.


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#8 of 11 Old 07-23-2011, 09:00 AM
 
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OMFG! This SOOO explains the man that I left a week ago today because I felt like he WAS emotionally abusive and controlling. He denied it at first but now he's begging me to come back and I need help to stay strong. Seeing that article may just be what keeps me away from him. This article is going in my favorites so I can look at it everytime I think going back to him will be "better next time around."

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#9 of 11 Old 07-23-2011, 09:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebecca2009 View Post

I am reading the article, thanks for posting it.

 

I have thought for a long time that my husband fits a lot of these traits.  I am not in a position to leave but I am moving out of our room. Even doing this is hard for me as I feel guilty about doing it.  But our marriage is a sham at this point.   I remember reading somewhere about 'crazy making' behavior that abusive people have, and I believe that definitely fits.  I can hardly think straight sometimes.

 

It is so frustrating dealing with him.  If he's griping at me about something and I tell him I don't appreciate it, then I am the one who is 'looking for a fight.' Arghhh........

 

I feel like wrting much more but I can't find the words.

Thanks again for this article.


Don't worry, I TOTALLY relate to the "you're picking a fight, not me" bit. It's part of how they operate. When you keep track of what happened to start the fight, 99% of the time, it's them. One night, I kept all the texts on my computer of a few fights we had and then SHOWED him and told him that I knew the tactic and that it would not work on me. He also uses the "You don't want me because I'm garbage, so I may as well not be in this world anymore" type of quote, which USED to make me feel horrible, but I know now that it's a tactic to keep me and to try not to upset him.
 

 

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#10 of 11 Old 08-04-2011, 10:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN View Post
 


I won't quote you in case you don't want quoted but I saw that you posted about 2 weeks ago and was coming by to wish you strength.  That is how it works, they do try to come back.  If you recognize this type of pattern, just keep reading this article every few days.  Be strong!


"When the external begins to define the internal, instead of the internal defining the external, one begins living as a mortal rather than as a universal being." ~ unknown
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#11 of 11 Old 08-05-2011, 02:26 AM
 
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I'm being strong. He's actually seeing a therapist, but from alot of things I read, emotionally abusive people are very hard to help because their behavior is very sociopathic(and sociopaths do not grow a conscience, they are born the way they are and there's no changing them). I don't want to fall into that trap and I know how persuasive he can be. Im glad I saw this thread pop back up because I was starting to put myself in a trap where I kept talking to him everyday. Thank you for reminding me!

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