Processing A Bad Situation - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Something happened to my best friend's dd and it has really scared me. I can't give details, since this is a very private matter but it is on the list of scariest things that could happen to a child.

 How do I process this so I can be there for her? I have moments of panic, thinking about it. I have known her and her family since I was 5. I have had sleepovers at her house. Her Mom has alzheimers, and while she is capable of caring for herself at the moment, it may mean a move for her Mom. The whole thing is horribly, sad, and life changing. I don't know what to do to help her.

 I felt so sick yesterday and today I have had some anxiety on and off. 

 

Any advice on processing this for myself, so I can help her?


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#2 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 12:30 PM
 
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Care for yourself in the same ways that you would if you had experienced a trauma, because you are experiencing this as a personal trauma. Different things for work different people, but talking to a counselor, doing yoga, journaling, etc. are useful tools.

 

I'm sorry so for what you, your friend, and her child are going through.

 

peace

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 03:15 PM
 
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I think, given the gravity of the situation and your relationship with the mom, I would offer to bring over some meals, help clean- anything that might lighten the load on mom. She needs a friend- she may not want to talk, but just knowing that you are there for HER will give her some support. A good friend can be there to wipe the tears, provide a much needed laugh, or just to Be there with her. Ya know?  I don't think that there's ever a "Right" thing you can do- just be yourself and let her know that you are there if she has a need of you- cooking, cleaning, helping with her mom, laundry, driving errands. 

 

Also, remember to take care of you. I know that when something happens to my friends it feels very much like it's happened to me :(  You are a wonderful woman that clearly loves your friend. I think that alone will be a huge support and source of love for her.  You all will be in my thoughts.


Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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#4 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 03:24 PM
 
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I agree, helping out with regular day to day stuff would be very helpful to your friend. I would also seek counseling for yourself.


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