Processing A Bad Situation - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
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Something happened to my best friend's dd and it has really scared me. I can't give details, since this is a very private matter but it is on the list of scariest things that could happen to a child.

 How do I process this so I can be there for her? I have moments of panic, thinking about it. I have known her and her family since I was 5. I have had sleepovers at her house. Her Mom has alzheimers, and while she is capable of caring for herself at the moment, it may mean a move for her Mom. The whole thing is horribly, sad, and life changing. I don't know what to do to help her.

 I felt so sick yesterday and today I have had some anxiety on and off. 


Any advice on processing this for myself, so I can help her?

Dhjammin.gif, Me knit.gif, DD 10 REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, DD 7 cat.gif, DD 4 joy.gif

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#2 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 12:30 PM
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Care for yourself in the same ways that you would if you had experienced a trauma, because you are experiencing this as a personal trauma. Different things for work different people, but talking to a counselor, doing yoga, journaling, etc. are useful tools.


I'm sorry so for what you, your friend, and her child are going through.




but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#3 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 03:15 PM
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I think, given the gravity of the situation and your relationship with the mom, I would offer to bring over some meals, help clean- anything that might lighten the load on mom. She needs a friend- she may not want to talk, but just knowing that you are there for HER will give her some support. A good friend can be there to wipe the tears, provide a much needed laugh, or just to Be there with her. Ya know?  I don't think that there's ever a "Right" thing you can do- just be yourself and let her know that you are there if she has a need of you- cooking, cleaning, helping with her mom, laundry, driving errands. 


Also, remember to take care of you. I know that when something happens to my friends it feels very much like it's happened to me :(  You are a wonderful woman that clearly loves your friend. I think that alone will be a huge support and source of love for her.  You all will be in my thoughts.

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 14, Jillianne 11, Jensen 9, Jacen 8 & my dog Kota 3
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#4 of 4 Old 05-06-2011, 03:24 PM
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I agree, helping out with regular day to day stuff would be very helpful to your friend. I would also seek counseling for yourself.


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