Grieving and processing DS's first friend moving away - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-21-2011, 12:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sigh... This is really more of a personal growth rather than grief thread. I just need help processing and making peace with the situation.
Here goes...
DS is 16 month, he started daycare at 5 months and made a friend with a baby boy 5 days older. Even when they seemed way too young to be friends the boys very obviously liked each other. They are now toddlers together in the same room and are still partial to each other. (they also look alike - so everyone calls them "the twins") The other boy's family grew very close to ours and we have so much in common. It almost feels like we became extended family with the children all enjoying each other (the other boy also has an older sister who really likes DS as well).
This family are scientists like DH and I, and the husband's postdoc position is ending so he is job hunting. Just a few weeks ago he got 2 great job offers in his field in the area near their family. I'm so happy for him, I know how stressed he was and how scary it was to consider career change. It is a great opportunity for him but now they have to move away and it will happen in a month.
I'm going to miss them so much. gloomy.gif I'll miss seeing our children play, and hearing stories from the daycare about their exploits (they used to make each other laugh in the infant room when they were 8 months old) I'm going to miss our playdates and walks and times to hang out with the other parents (I love spending time with the other mama). Most of all, I think I'm grieving what could have been - our boys growing up together, hopefully all of us staying close in this parenting journey.
This morning as we were heading to work after dropping DS off at daycare the other boy ran up to me and gave me a big hug. The teacher told me that she's sad he'll be leaving and I almost cried.
I know that we can still stay long distance friends and we can still see each other sometimes, but realistically it's going to be hard with busy lives, work, and kids. I'm happy for them as they start the new chapter in their life, but I am so selfishly sad. greensad.gif
Somebody smack me upside the head and tell me to snap out of it and cherish the time we have left together. crap.gif

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Old 05-21-2011, 04:16 AM
 
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Sorry- no smack upside the head from me. Take the time to grieve the loss of someone that you like. You will only suppress the grief if you try to focus on the positive. This is a terribly sad situation- but the good news is that they are only moving! It's still a loss for you though, and the positive is for THEM, not you :(  So sorry.


Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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Old 05-21-2011, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yarngoddess, thank you for your kind words. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard, I've had friends move away before (it's the norm in academia) and it was never this hard. Maybe it's because this time our children are involved as well and we literally see them every day.
I really am so happy for them too. So conflicted. wild.gif

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Old 05-22-2011, 08:17 PM
 
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Change is so hard sometimes and being left behind is hardest. It's difficult to imagine life without them but the actual reality will be a lot easier to deal with. It is the waiting for the change that is so painful!

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