OP--I read and responded in your other thread too, but wanted to say I am really glad you're giving a new therapist a shot. The biggest problem is definitely your DH needing to learn its okay to set boundaries. Unlike most of the other posters though, I would actually hang on to the letter. I wouldn't send it today, but the information from your other thread and the fact that your DH has a history of not stepping up to set the boundaries, would make me want to keep it just in case. I am really really hoping something clicks for him in therapy and he starts understanding that boundaries are healthy. If not, I would consider at some point taking it upon myself though to set the boundaries through the letter if he decides he is not going to. You do have the right to set boundaries. This is your family and your kids. So what if your in-laws think its more of the same "antics". I don't honestly see how things could get a lot worse... Boundaries are healthy. No matter who is setting them. Yes, better for them to come from your husband, but its okay to come from you too if he is unwilling. Is your therapist considering one-on-one with your husband? Because honestly the problem is more his lack of boundaries than your marriage. Obviously your marriage is dramatically impacted, but the true issue lays with him and he is going to be the one who has to make the biggest changes. Sometimes marriage therapists focus too much on compromise when compromise is not appropriate. The benefit to one-on-one therapy is that there will be a greater focus on him instead of your relationship with him. I'm not saying there shouldn't be some compromise on your part. I am just hoping your therapist "gets" the root issue. Good luck!!