Do you feel like you fit in anywhere? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-08-2011, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering where you have found you fit in? if you feel like you do. Maybe with a certain group of parents or at a church? I don't feel like I fit in anywhere, and I know that is quite common....but it sucks. Just wondering people's thoughts on this sort of thing I guess.


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Old 07-08-2011, 07:57 PM
 
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I often feel like I don't fit in anywhere, although many people would be surprised to hear that I think that about myself, since I seem to act as though I'm comfortable in almost any group situation. I think growing up, I played the role as "pleaser" so I am often on alert to social cues and trying to say/do the right thing. Fortunately, my DH is the same as me, so we commisserate on how we often feel like "imposters" in a group setting.   One-on-one is where I feel like I can truly connect with people, and I have some great relationships that way.

 

As I've gotten a little older, this doesn't bother me anymore as much as it used to, as I've come to understand that this is just the way I am... BUT... now that I'm having my first baby soon, I am worried again about fitting in with other new moms. I'm not sure how it's going to play out.


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Old 07-08-2011, 08:54 PM
 
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no i don't fit in, never have ,but it is worse now that i am grown up and more natural minded. i drove home have crying realizing my family doesn't even know the real me as i can't let them know all the alternative things i do especially parenting wise. They don't even know ds bfed until almost 2 1/2.. they don't know i stopped vaxing, and all my natural 'beliefs' i hate it so much. Dh knows, i havea friend who knows and understands but her deep baptist faith puts a wedge in our friendship so i can't completely be free with her, but it is probably as close as i can get i suppose at least now...


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Old 07-09-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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I don't fit in much, but I don't really try to either. Maybe it will change once I have kids, but at this point in my life, I don't care much for socializing. Other than my DP, I only have two friends, who are holdovers from elementary school and whom I no longer have much in common with; if I wanted more friends I'd have no idea where to start.

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Old 09-01-2011, 08:13 PM
 
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i dont fit it and never have felt like i really have in life so i keep to myself.


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Old 09-10-2011, 12:37 AM
 
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yes and no.

 

in certain areas i find people i do fit in with. we have a particular issue in common - like EBF. but then in certain areas i am way too serious about eating locally. they just dont get why i cant eat a tomato from a grocery store any more. 

 

when dd was younger it was hard to find parents to fit in with, since our children were such a huge part of the deal - or at least our parenting was. as dd got older i found i connected with lots of other parents who i wouldnt have been able to do so a few years back.

 

it would be nice if i found a little group of people with whom i could connect on various things. havent found that yet. 


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Old 09-10-2011, 05:14 PM
 
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I used to fit in.  Once upon I was married, I was a stay at home mom, homeschooling. evangelical christian...living the dream.  It was easy to find like minded friends with as much time on their hands as I had.

 

Then my husband had an affair my world fell apart, I got divorced, I work two jobs, my kids are in school and I don't even have the time to meet their teachers.    We have no money, the house is always a wreck.  
 

I don't fit in with single people or married people.  I don't fit in with my old SAHM, homeschooling friends.  They stopped calling almost instantly.  I am not even protestant anymore.  My church is great and everyone is loving and sweet but I don't feel like i fit in really well with any of them.  

 

I wish I just had a natural sort of community around me but I don't.  I enjoy peoples company but as far as fitting in....I am always the odd man out.


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Old 09-11-2011, 05:44 AM
 
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I have found more and more that I fit in.  Not with people I don't care to fit in with but with my cousins that I haven't talked to in years.  I said something on FB the other day that drew a bit of a backlash from some other mamas.  Anyway I got a call from to of me female cousins, one in florida and one in Ohio two days apart both agreeing with me and happy to know we're like minded.  I've never fit in with people around me and I'm ok with that.  I don't want to fit in.  I don't want to be part of them.  By the way there are far too many of them.  As in those whose beliefs are so far from mine.  But I fit in with my DH and we're both a couple of nuts!

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Old 09-11-2011, 02:07 PM
 
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I don't have any place where I feel like I belong.  It grieves me. 


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