Turns out I DO have a backbone! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I tend to be a people-pleaser, and I avoid conflict like the plague.  Because of this, I've spent a long time being walked on. 

 

This morning though, my neighbor took it on himself to wait until the kids and I went out and he set up a fence line inside of our property (by about 20 feet.)  He then mowed down my daughter's little wild area (a science experiment named 'bugland') she's been visiting daily all summer and broke her scooter- I suspect he ran over it with the mower or threw it across the yard- I found it in two pieces. 

 

When confronted, he started yelling and claiming he had every right.  I called the Sheriff.  For me, that's HUGE.  I was once assaulted by someone impersonating a police officer.  When reported, the police dismissed me as lying.  Since then I've been terrified of police involvement- I don't even drive a mile over the speed limit- ever!

 

The Sheriff agreed with me, and made the neighbor take down the line.  If he wants to contest it he has to hire (at his expense) a survey company.  The GPS the sheriff was carrying agreed with the established line- obviously, only a legal survey can tell for sure.  

 

I filed a separate claim for the property destruction (DD's scooter) and the neighbor was charged with trespassing.   It helped that he claimed she'd never ridden her scooter all summer and on the front page of last week's newspaper was a picture of DD and her best friend at the park using the scooter.  On her knee was the scab healing from a fall she took that day- and the reason she'd put the scooter away (carefully near a tree at 'bugland' .)  The Sheriff pointed out that if they wanted to lie, they probably shouldn't do so to him when the proof is a front page picture in the newspaper.

 

The sad thing though is that if he'd simply been civil and knocked on the door to say he believed the line was in a different place, I wouldn't have argued, I would simply have looked into it when I was able to.  Because he decided to sneak and lie, I decided not to be walked on. 

insidevoice is offline  
#2 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 04:29 PM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 9,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

thumb.gif  Good job!   You know he messed with your daughter's stuff and brought out the mama bear in you!  Nothing like having children to encourage you to do something brave. 

rainbow_mandala likes this.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
#3 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 04:43 PM
 
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WooHoo to you for standing up for you and your daughter. Poor bugland greensad.gif

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#4 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Stephenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Washingtonian lost in DWF TX
Posts: 1,155
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow! Good job sticking up for your family! I am so sorry about your past experience with the police hug2.gif

 

And what a jerk! Who breaks a child's toy? 


Stephenie, Wife to Nick partners.gif 9/3/05 Mama to Keagan treehugger.gif autismribbon.gif 4/12/07, Eden dust.gifhomebirth.jpg3/29/09  3rdtri.gif Someone new coming in July and two angels 6/06 and 10/10. Check out my blog! blogging.jpg

 
 
 
  

Stephenie is offline  
#5 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 06:38 PM
 
kawa kamuri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,867
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

what a great example you've set for your daughter!

 

joy.gif


Boys: 12/94, 1/99, 11/03, 6/11. Girls: 11/06, 10/09, 12/12 2ndtri.gif

 
       

kawa kamuri is offline  
#6 of 17 Old 07-09-2011, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am pretty happy with myself.  Of course- I went out for my son's birthday dinner tonight and when I came home, the neighbors had put blankets up to block all their windows from view and have parked their travel trailer in between their place and ours as well.  Clearly I am one scary five foot one inch tall woman!  It's kind of creepy, but whatever works for them, I guess.  

 

I was good until I checked the violent offender registry and found this guy listed.  Sadly, his sentence has expired so no details.. 

 

 

insidevoice is offline  
#7 of 17 Old 07-10-2011, 10:20 AM
 
hibiscus mum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 236
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

You're awesome.  :)  I'm a people-pleaser myself and don't normally have the guts to confront people, but it always feels good when I gather up the courage to do so.


Mama to Sunshine (9/06), the Duke (4/09), and little chickadee (9/12).
hibiscus mum is offline  
#8 of 17 Old 07-10-2011, 09:01 PM
 
ElliesMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

the sheriff probably already knows he's on the violent offenders list, they probably have past infractions on their computers. teach your daughter (and any other kids you might have) how to stay safe and what to do if the neighbor tries to talk to them or otherwise engage with them.


ElliesMomma is offline  
#9 of 17 Old 07-11-2011, 11:09 AM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 9,804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

 

Quote:
Clearly I am one scary five foot one inch tall woman!

 

 

Sadly MDC doesn't sell member title gifts anymore, otherwise this morning you would have wakened to your new title,

 

One Scary Little Mama With a Back Bone  orngbiggrin.gif


Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
#10 of 17 Old 07-11-2011, 11:19 AM
 
McGucks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: among the wildflowers
Posts: 1,250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Good for you!

 

candle.gif Bugland.


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

McGucks is offline  
#11 of 17 Old 07-11-2011, 07:51 PM
 
Thing1Thing2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

thumbsup.gif


familybed2.gif Wife to dh_malesling.GIF -  Mama to kid.gif DS 6/08 and DS babyboy.gif 9/11  homebirth.jpg

A tad socially awkward redface.gif

Thing1Thing2 is offline  
#12 of 17 Old 07-19-2011, 11:58 AM
 
IwannaBanRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belgrade, MT
Posts: 2,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

GOOD FOR YOU!!! That is awesome! And how APALLING, the things he did. He sounds like a miserable person, and someone who doesn't deserve a good neighbor like you. I would have been so livid. I had a neighbor once that backed into my car and broke my tail light and dented my bumper and tried to deny it was her when the same exact paint on her car was on my car and where her car hit mine she had paint scratched off. Nice try! So I filed for her to pay for my damages and she did just that and I got nothing but dirty looks from her from then on, but I didn't care. If she had told me the truth to begin with, I probably wouldn't have worried about filing any reports or anything. She did this even after I helped her get HER car out of the snowbank, and after I helped her file a report of police brutality when they were unnecessarily rough on her partner when they arrested her wrongfully. Some people are just jerks because they lead miserable lives and all you have to do is live better than them and keep on smiling.

IwannaBanRN is offline  
#13 of 17 Old 07-23-2011, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh my gosh- I went out this morning and came back to wooden stakes with flagging ape up in my yard.  Clearly this guy doesn't Get It.  I'm waiting until Monday morning  to  go to the county records building to pull any and all surveys conducted (so he can't claim he had one done) then will be asking the Sheriff to deal with him again.  

 

The really bizarre thing is that he is watching my house- and watching patterns in when we come and go.  Saturday mornings we usually go over to visit my family, and that's when he's doing these things.  Creepy to know how closely he's watching though! 

insidevoice is offline  
#14 of 17 Old 07-23-2011, 02:04 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,610
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

Blimey. That's just bizarre. Does he really think you'll go "Oh, my bad, shouldn't have gone out... I guess we'll just let you steal 20 feet of our property"? I mean, he KNOWS you're aware of the issue!


If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is offline  
#15 of 17 Old 07-23-2011, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh my- now it's even MORE fun.  Having been ordered to take the fenceposts etc down two weeks ago by law enforcement, he put up the wooden stakes with flagging tape today.  Next, he mowed the lawn- including part of my property he wants to claim as his.  After that, he came and knocked on my door to tell me that he had 'measured again' and these were the lot  lines.  He states he refuses to pay $1500 for a survey but needs this figured out as he's about to build.  He wanted to know why *I* haven't paid for a survey.  I pulled out the map that I kept in the front of my car and SHOWED HIM where his property lines are- including the one that ends out in the street on his lot and he was annoyed. Since I refused to rise to his behavior, he finally stomped off saying he's "got a lawyer" on this thing (sure you do, the retainer would be more than the survey...)   He also claimed to have talked to the Sheriff about it, not knowing that said Sheriff serves on a committee with me, and a couple committees with my mother- we asked him about it last week when we all happened to be at a meeting together and told he us information in direct conflict with what this gentleman was claiming he'd said.  Ah, the fun. 

 

I was firm, and completely unemotional (not having been caught off guard this time, that was easier) and was civil and firm.  He walked off with a flip of his hand and finger. 

 

Soo..  Monday morning I'll wander down and file for a restraining order to be put in place until this guy has a survey done.  :)

 

 

insidevoice is offline  
#16 of 17 Old 07-23-2011, 03:48 PM
 
IwannaBanRN's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belgrade, MT
Posts: 2,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

eyesroll.gifFun! This dude seems like a controlling  wild.gif  and he needs to leave you alone. Hope you get the restraining order.

IwannaBanRN is offline  
#17 of 17 Old 07-23-2011, 06:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh, I'm sure I'll get it, the situation meets the criteria, and with the violent offender status it will be pretty easy to say there is a need for it.  It's just crazy that it needs to go to that point over a foolish imaginary line on the ground. 

 

 

 

insidevoice is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off