Not satisified - feel the need to change things all of the time - OCD? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 07:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel the need to move things around in my house quite often.  Move a picture over there, paint this room a certain color, change the curtains, but then turn around and hate it and then want to change it again.  Buy something that I like in the store, a few months later, I find something I like better and feel the need to have it and then change all over again.  DH feels I have a true problem not because it's costing our family money (and not a ton, but enough to notice).  I like things neat and tidy.  I like things to look fresh and clean.  Could it be just an OCD that I have?  Is it worth talking to someone about or is it a simple quirk?  But it feels like a constant unsatisified feeling and it's only with my home.  I don't feel this way about my job, appearance, things for my kids... only for the home. 

 

Does anyone else have this problem?  If so, how do you deal with it? 


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#2 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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I can relate abuot the constant disastisfaction- but for me it does not manifest in wanting to change my home around, more that I find that there is always something I can feel worried about if I think about it! I am not always worried but I do have this undercurrent of anxiety. Maybe this is totally different than what you are talking about.

 

what you are talking about doesn't sound alarming to me- it makes sense that in a world that cna be really chaotic, you are trying to have some control and order in your home. If you have someone good to talk to about it it might help you to sort out some of your feelings about it. I think there is so much that everyne has to deal with and we find ways to cope- but what you describe doens't sound alarming or anything. what do you think about it? what does it feel like it means for you?

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#3 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 01:21 PM
 
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also, from another perspective- if money were not an issue, you could see it that you are an interior decorator! Making neat and clean beautiful spaces is your art form perhaps. I think it is surely better than if you had no motivation to make your space nice. I also compulsively buy things too much, spend way too much money on things that seem essential and then lose their shine to me fairly soon. I think it is a pretty common human condition!!

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#4 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 01:28 PM
 
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I only know one person who has OCD (well who has admitted in anyway) but is on medication. She is very organized, scheduled and likes to micromanage things. She is my coworker so sometimes we have issues regarding this. She gets very upset/anxious when we have too many emails in our shared inbox, even though we have plenty of people to handle the emails or the emails themselves are not very hard. Just seeing a large number will be upsetting to her and she will suddenly start working through her breaks and lunch to answer them. She will also give some to me (even though she isn’t really supposed to do this) because she can’t deal with “seeing” so many pile up. She is also a chronic deleter of emails, documents, folders, files…. LOL

 

My understanding is that OCD is an anxiety disorder and that people with OCD feel anxiety in their lives and the behaviours we witness are stragedies to deal with the anxiety: organizationa/schedule rituals, micromanaging things, neat/tidiness, control issues, repetition….

 

I am not sure what you describe is OCD. Do you have a lot of anxiety and does your redecorating feel compulsive? Or does it correspond with an increase of stress in your life?

 

Also, what happens to the stuff that you replace? Do you hang on to it or just let it go easily (sell/donate)?

 

Just some things to consider…

 

Rhianna

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#5 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by busymama77 View Post

 

But it feels like a constant unsatisified feeling and it's only with my home.  I don't feel this way about my job, appearance, things for my kids... only for the home. 


I'm curious how intense the feeling is.

 

The thing is, if the tweaks around the house are something you can afford and this this your DH's biggest complaint with you, I don't see a reason to change (unless you just want to change).

 

however, if this is an intense, unpleasant feeling that you would like to move past, then it seems worth getting to the bottom of so you can let it go.

 

I think it's possible that there are other things in your life that you ARE unhappy about, but would be difficult to change. So your mind protects you from those bigger issues by keeping you occupied with simple things, like where a picture hangs. To me, what you describes sounds like a distraction from a problem that you have no idea how to change.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#6 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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I could use a little bit of what you have. LOL. We have moved so many times in the past 6 years that I am totally burnt out on making my house a home and the thought of it fills me with dread and just completely overwhelms me (in the process of packing up and moving even as we speak...)

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#7 of 13 Old 07-18-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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I am this way about my house too to an extent.  Not so much buying stuff, but rearranging it. I don't pour a lot of time into it.  I like the feeling of moving things around.  In your case, I would talk to someone about it if it feels like it is negatively impacting your life and your functioning.  Do you think you are using that time to escape from something you should be addressing or doing?  Is it negatively impacting your relationships?  Is it causing you to go into debt?  Are you feeling anxious or unsettled in other areas of your life and using this as one area that you can control and changl?   People have quirks.  This might be one for you or it might be a symptom of something bigger.  You are probably the only person who can answer that.  If you are unhappy about it and concerned, I'd consider that it may be a symptom of something bigger and consider talking about it with a therapist. 

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#8 of 13 Old 07-19-2011, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to everyone that replied and offered your empathies, support and advice.

 

I'm not sure if the constant rearranging is something that I'm doing to get away from another problem or not because I really don't have any outside of just the usual daily stress of being a FT WOHM, taking care of two boys with a DH that travels on occassion, and small debt (mortgage, credit cards).  I do tend to get bored easily and really don't find the time to relax and take it easy - only when I have to, I guess.  I try and wind down when I get home with the kids, but I want to spend time with them, so we play and connect.  After they go to bed is when my mind races on what I could do in certain rooms or start looking forward to the day when I can paint, buy new bedroom furniture and start over fresh.  I'm always hunting for good deals on things that I can display in my home - whether in retail or at a garage sale.

 

What I am doing isn't causing any harm on my relationship with my kids or my DH and it isn't causing us to go in to debt.  I think it's an honest quirk. I grew up in a home that was very neat and clean and my mom sort of did the same thing.  Changed the furniture around every so often in her bedroom or living room.  She liked to update and freshen up new pictures, flower arrangements, things of this nature. So maybe it's something that I picked up from her?

 

For the person that mentioned the co-woker and the email inbox?  I'm like that myself. I cannot stand having a ton of emails in my inbox at one time. I have to answer them, reply and them place them in their respective folders or I get anxious and feel overwhelmed. 


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#9 of 13 Old 07-21-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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I sort of know what you mean, but for me it is in a larger sense. I have ADD and I feel the need to have my scenery changing often. Unfortunately, now that we bought a house and have kids, I can't just up and move like I want to. I'm sure that's totally not helpful in any way. Hope you can come to some peace about it!

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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#10 of 13 Old 07-25-2011, 08:00 AM
 
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I don't think it's odd to want to change things around. If it were me, my concern would be the dissatisfaction. Surely you should reach a point where you are basically happy with your surroundings?

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#11 of 13 Old 07-25-2011, 07:22 PM
 
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Just for a different perspective - I love to rearrange things at home, totally reorganize bookshelves and other spaces, etc.  I do it a lot less now than pre-kids.  I'm also an artist - and I personally see my desire/habit of doing this as just being very visually attuned to stuff around me and I *need* visual variety and change and stimulation (I'm not a super neatnik, but am more organized than messy so that's not part of this issue).

 

 

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#12 of 13 Old 07-26-2011, 06:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofprincesses View Post

I don't think it's odd to want to change things around. If it were me, my concern would be the dissatisfaction. Surely you should reach a point where you are basically happy with your surroundings?



I agree and you would think so.  I'm just not sure how to find it.

 


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#13 of 13 Old 08-10-2012, 09:26 AM
 
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I actually feel the same way! When I was younger, I had OCD but it was for different things. Such as me counting corners, counting the stair steps, etc. I thought I then "died off it" and stopped. From time to time my mother still catches me counting.

 

I have noticed here lately and so has my family members that I am obssesed with change. When Myspace was "cool", I would change the background layout all the time. Now that Facebook is the new cool thing, I change my banner picture, display picture and the About Me info all the time. My Pinterest boards display pics change all the time. It's not just with stuff like that but even my appearance. I change my hair like crazy! As soon as I get my hair done, the same day I'm already looking for my new hair project. My boyfriend liked spending money on me to get my hair done but now he see's that I think about it all the time. So I stopped going to get my hair done. I got so desperate that I let a co worker do my hair. It wasn't even 3 days later that I was already talking to another hair dresser about what I want to do.

 

My closet is crazy. Once I go out and spend money on some clothes, not a week later I want to buy more. Not so much for the thrill or satisfaction but because I want a different style of clothes. My small check I get every other week goes on clothes or home decor. My room at the MOMENT is themed kind of Hippie I guess you could say. If I had a bigger check, I'm pretty sure that every month, my room would be a different theme. Even if I don't buy anything, I still rearrange my room a lot.

 

I feel like there is seriously something wrong with me. I hate the fact that I just cant get comfortable with something. My boyfriend and mother is really supportive of me. They try to help but I feel like I still need that change. I dont know if its if I like being in control of how things are or look, or if its I get bored with things, or if I need constant change.

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