addicted to MDC - support thread - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-12-2011, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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double post - I hit quote instead of edit. 

 

 

 

 

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Old 11-12-2011, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

I need to move on from MDC, or at a minimum lower the amount I use it.

 

Some days I really like MDC, but some I find it too snarky and too mainstream-ish (which is funny because 2 years ago I would have said I was too mainstream in some ways for MDC, lol,  and any hint of snarkiness was squashed like a bug).  I tend to engage in the snarkiness which is not the end of the world, but is hardly a productive activity, yk?

 

I tend to think I spend too much time here because I need to get a life.  

 

I work part-time, but obviously that isn't enough or I would not be here a couple of hours a day.  The library system I work (indeed libraries as a whole) are undergoing a bit of a crisis and I would actually like to be in a place where I can do something about it.  That would involve retraining, which is scary for me as it involves money - and what if I retrain but it doesn't lead to any higher up jobs?  And do I really want higher up jobs?  My supervisors job is stressing!  

 

So...bucket list of things I want to do with my times rather than argue with strangers online:

 

-train for a library position with more power

-lose weight  (50 pounds or so)

- make a more welcoming home

-socialise more IRL, but in a healthy way

-make a friggin decision on moving.

 

Any one want to join me? I do recognise the irony in a thread on MDC about trying to spend less time on MDC (and really, online in general) - but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.  

 

 

 

 



 

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Old 11-14-2011, 12:20 PM
 
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HA!  I'm addicted too.  I could be studying for my CISSP cert but I'm on here instead.  Between Fantasy Football, LunaticOutpost and MDC I spend over 2 hrs a day on the interewebs.  However I have to use it for my job no matter what, this just makes it more tolerable.

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Old 11-14-2011, 12:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

HA!  I'm addicted too.  I could be studying for my CISSP cert but I'm on here instead.  Between Fantasy Football, LunaticOutpost and MDC I spend over 2 hrs a day on the interewebs.  However I have to use it for my job no matter what, this just makes it more tolerable.



what is CISSP?  

 

I go on MDC at work too  bag.gif

 

I try to justify it that people use to take smoke breaks, and I don't take smoke breaks I take MDC breaks .  

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Old 11-14-2011, 01:10 PM
 
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Here!
I was an addict until MDC changed to the new format. Then it wasn't very compatable with my dial up internet. I literally went through emotional withdrawls when I just couldn't open many pages anymore. Now I am not on here as much as I would like to be. I do miss it because I don't really have much support in life and all you mama's here have been the best!
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Old 11-14-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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Certified Information System Security Professional.  has a crappy pass rate!  So I should be studying.  

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Old 11-14-2011, 05:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post



what is CISSP?  

 

I go on MDC at work too  bag.gif

 

I try to justify it that people use to take smoke breaks, and I don't take smoke breaks I take MDC breaks .  


OMG, who would do such a thing? (ahem) whistling.gif

 


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Old 11-14-2011, 08:48 PM
 
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I know it's bad right?  HA! 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post


OMG, who would do such a thing? (ahem) whistling.gif

 



 

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Old 11-16-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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Hmmm. Kathy, didn't you have a post similar to this several months ago?  And I responded something to the effect of, "Yeah, I need to cut back too..."

 

Regardless, I identify with all your points. 


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Old 11-16-2011, 05:52 PM
 
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I feel like its not much of an addiction, seeing as how everytime I check MDC there have been very few posts because it is just.so.freaking.slow.

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Old 11-16-2011, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

I feel like its not much of an addiction, seeing as how everytime I check MDC there have been very few posts because it is just.so.freaking.slow.

 

Well, yes.  Part of it is an addiction, but it might actually seem worse  to me (like I am blabbering in every thread) because there are so few threads.
 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

Hmmm. Kathy, didn't you have a post similar to this several months ago?  And I responded something to the effect of, "Yeah, I need to cut back too..."

 

Regardless, I identify with all your points. 



Yup, that is me.  This is not a new issue.  In some ways I am conflicted - MDC fills a need I have to debate and exchange ideas (in some ways it is better than real life in that regard).  I just need to make sure it doesn't interfere with doing the things I need to get done...or as using it as an excuse for not doing I need/want to do.

 

I also feel kind of whiny about the whole thing - Like if I want to be online less I should just woman-up and get offline.  And yet, if I cannot whine here, where else can I?  

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Old 11-16-2011, 07:00 PM
 
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do you feel addicted to being online in general or just MDC?

I think many many people (me!) are addicted to being online.

It is a very seductive way to lose oneself and forget about things for a while.

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Old 11-16-2011, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snapdragon View Post

do you feel addicted to being online in general or just MDC?

I think many many people (me!) are addicted to being online.

It is a very seductive way to lose oneself and forget about things for a while.



Mostly MDC.  I occasionally visit other places, but when I do my MDC use goes down.  The total amount of time I spend online remains constant unless i am embroiled in a heated discussion. 

 

I visit other forums occasionally (I am posting lightly on one)  and I have been known to play online games like boggle.  

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Old 11-16-2011, 07:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

Hmmm. Kathy, didn't you have a post similar to this several months ago?  And I responded something to the effect of, "Yeah, I need to cut back too..."

 

Regardless, I identify with all your points. 



Yup, that is me.  This is not a new issue.  In some ways I am conflicted - MDC fills a need I have to debate and exchange ideas (in some ways it is better than real life in that regard).  I just need to make sure it doesn't interfere with doing the things I need to get done...or as using it as an excuse for not doing I need/want to do.

 

I also feel kind of whiny about the whole thing - Like if I want to be online less I should just woman-up and get offline.  And yet, if I cannot whine here, where else can I?  


I completely understand how the Internet or a specific forum can do this.  <Edited, as the OP was not asking for advice on how to fix the issue.>

 

If you enjoyed photography and you wanted to do it less (for the same reasons you mention above), would you tell yourself to just get over it and/or "woman up"?  Probably not.  I understand what you're saying, but I do think you have to be reasonable with yourself.  For some people, researching on the Internet or reading specific forums (MDC) is their hobby and/or outlet.

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Old 11-16-2011, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mulvah View Post

 

 

 

If you enjoyed photography and you wanted to do it less (for the same reasons you mention above), would you tell yourself to just get over it and/or "woman up"?  Probably not.  I understand what you're saying, but I do think you have to be reasonable with yourself.  For some people, researching on the Internet or reading specific forums (MDC) is their hobby and/or outlet.


No, I probably would not tell myself to woman-up over photography.

 

I seem to judge online use more harshly than I would judge other pastimes. Maybe I need to evaluate that.

 

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Old 11-17-2011, 10:15 AM
 
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It's always about balance.  What do we get out of MDC?  I get:

 

A huge amount of relevant information for my career as a mother.  In that regard MDC is like a trade journal.  No one faults an engineer for reading a few trade journals through-out the month. 

 

Community that I cannot find elsewhere.  I'm trying to think where in Real Life I could find such a large group of moms that I could meet with regularly and just talk, and talk and talk.  There are some preschool moms groups.  Church and bible study groups.  Sometimes PTA-type groups grow close.  But none of those allow me to sit in my sweats and carefully compose my responses to various arguments.

 

I was in a Moms Offering Moms Support group when my youngest was a baby.  And it was pretty nice to hang once a week with a handful of other moms and get to know each other.  It was also uncomfortable and stressful.  Here were these moms who I had a lot in common with simply because our babies were the same age. On the other hand our differences were highlighted in bold relief. I was acutely aware that most of these women were much better off than I.  Thinner, better educated, seemingly more together than I.  

 

And we could never get into the frank and intimate conversations we have here.  No soul-baring conversations about the despair of new parenthood.  Nothing about libido!  And because they're all from my suburban white neighborhood I wasn't learning about and interacting with single mamas, dready mamas, hairy mamas, mamas of color, urban mamas, rural off the grid mamas, cook everything from scratch mamas. Home school mamas.  And certainly no one from Canada! winky.gif Or anywhere else in the world. 

 

I really, really appreciate that we can and do call each other on our BS here at MDC.  You can't do that as directly in RL.  I've said it before: I knew very little about single moms and divorced moms before I came here, and I had some fantastically oppressive opinions.  I really value the eye-opening I got. 

 

I started this post to point out how all these good things got out of balance, but I haven't had my breakfast or coffee yet and my brain is melting.  So I'm just going to have to finish later.

 

bag.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 11-18-2011, 09:01 AM
 
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I was an MDC addict and now... well I still spend some time here, but I feel differently about it, it's just something I enjoy, not something I *NEED*...

Honestly, what did it for me was pinterest.com. I realize that sounds weird -- like I just got addicted to something else instead -- but pinterest really inspired me & started me moving my life in a more positive direction. For one thing, my real-life friends are on pinterest, so it's become a way for us to stay connected and share ideas. For another, I needed a vision of where I wanted to go, and pinterest helped me find it (wow, that sounds corny, I should be their official spokesperson). I have a fitness board and every day I force myself to do something from it. Some days it's only a 3-minute workout, but other days I'm up to a good 15mins or so, which is huge for me (chronic illness = hard to do physical stuff). I have lost some weight already & feel stronger & more energized. I have a projects board and I've done a few things from it, and a kid's activity board which I've really taken off with, doing new things with DS almost every day (and he desperately needs that!) And then there are boards with ideas for my home, my style, quotes, recipes, photography, things like that, which give me a vision of where I want to be & some direction & also satisfy the need to share more of myself with my friends. It's weird and I probably sound like a crazy person ranting on about this, but the site has literally changed my life. I had vague goals, but no actual vision of what it would look like to meet them, so I wasn't able to move toward them, and I was so uninspired. I am finding out what I love to do, and now I still spend a lot of time online (I'm a web designer, after all, it's in my nature!) but I am also spending lots of time outside, or reading, or doing projects, or doing activities with DS.

I'm not saying you need to go on pinterest (though I think it works for me especially BECAUSE it's online & therefore utilizes my internet addiction, this time for the better)... there are lots of other websites, books, systems, etc. that can help you reach your goals. But I think the key is you need to have those goals, and then flesh them out so you can see in your head what it looks like & what it means for you. Come up with baby steps to reach those goals (not "lose 50lbs" but small, specific things like "drink 2 glasses of water by 10am" or "do 10 jumping jacks a day") and look for inspiration to meet & expand on those mini-goals. Create some kind of checklist so you can have the satisfaction of checking off those mini-goals (for me, that means a whole board on pinterest where I move the 'pins' accomplished, and a couple of lists on tadalists.com). Don't try to make big changes in your life, just little ones. Email or call a real-life friend. Get flowers for your dining room table. Find out how long retraining will take & what it will cost. Every little tiny step you take will add up -- don't let the big, overwhelming goals & decisions prevent you from taking little tiny steps. The good thing about small steps is, if you change your mind or run out of energy, you don't have far to get back to where you started.

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Old 11-18-2011, 10:56 AM
 
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Crunchy Mommy, one thing that strikes me is that you've been inspired to move and create. 


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 11-18-2011, 11:17 AM
 
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Quote:
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Crunchy Mommy, one thing that strikes me is that you've been inspired to move and create. 

Yes!

I don't think getting off of MDC is really about getting off... it's about what you want to get ON instead. And I think spending so much time on MDC narrowed my vision so much that I couldn't see what those things were. I was always an active, creative person... and I just lost sight of that. Figure out what inspires you...

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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Old 11-18-2011, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I checked out pinterest - it looks pretty cool.  Some of the recipes are drool worthy, lol  I had to ask for an invite - and it seems to be facebook or twitter linked???  I have been avoiding facebook - but DH has an account, so I may just use his.

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Old 11-18-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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I have a fake facebook account so I linked it to that (though now I have some real-life friends on FB too, less than 10 though since I'm anonymous). I think there is also a way to sign up without linking to FB/Twitter now.

Oh yes, some of the recipes will destroy your diet efforts lol. But then you'll run across a dozen workout tips to compensate. wink1.gif

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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Old 11-21-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am still waiting for an invite from pinterest. They said I was on a waitlist, lol.  I have never been on a waitlist on the internet before!

 

I do enjoy looking at the board though - it is very cool!

 

I have started making myself a to-do list and posting it on the computer on the desktop.  It is working - Hope I keep it up!

 

I have also starting walking to the store - it is a baby step in getting more fit.  

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Old 11-21-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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If you want an invite, PM me your email address and I'll invite you.


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Old 11-21-2011, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You're sweet.  Thanks.  I will pm you - maybe it will speed up the process.

 

 

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Old 11-21-2011, 07:16 PM
 
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Well, I've been gone all day redoing my floor.  And painting my walls.  DH painted a wall then started decorating with pictures... so easily side tracked.  We're about 1/3 done.  Paperbag flooring.  Looks pretty cool so far.  So I stayed off all day.  Now off to watch football and hope to god Tom Brady plays terribly ish... Gronskowski has to play well enough to though.  Fantasy Football!!!

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Old 11-22-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

I feel like its not much of an addiction, seeing as how everytime I check MDC there have been very few posts because it is just.so.freaking.slow.


yes, the fact that this board is slowly dying is helping me beat my addiction. It's like a smoker who the universe conspired to take away all the cigarets in the universe and make only nicotine patches available. The new mothering.com come is a just a nicotine patch -- we have no more cigarettes available.

 

The rest on the internet isn't a problem for me -- just this one site.

 

It's been a consistent source of support and friendship and human contact during all our many, many moves. But I use it in a negative way to bypass connection with 3D humans because I find it safer and easier. I'm working on it.

 

I'm working on connecting with other women I know irl more while tracking and cutting back on my on-line time.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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Old 11-22-2011, 11:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post


It's been a consistent source of support and friendship and human contact during all our many, many moves. But I use it in a negative way to bypass connection with 3D humans because I find it safer and easier. I'm working on it.

 

I'm working on connecting with other women I know irl more while tracking and cutting back on my on-line time.



Yes, and this is why I have a hard time equating it to a hobby.  Hanging at MDC for 3 hours straight isn't the same as scrapbooking or even knitting for 3 hours straight. 

 

 


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 11-22-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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Quote:
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yes, the fact that this board is slowly dying is helping me beat my addiction. It's like a smoker who the universe conspired to take away all the cigarets in the universe and make only nicotine patches available. The new mothering.com come is a just a nicotine patch -- we have no more cigarettes available.

LOL that's a great analogy!


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Old 11-27-2011, 06:48 PM
 
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Hey.

 

I came to this subforum with the intention of finding support for email addiction/connecting online rather than irl. I had no idea I would find this thread which is so specific to my situation! Unlike the rest of you, I haven't used this particular place as the focus of my 'emotional online reliance', mostly just emails and facebook (yuck). 

Like Linda on the move, we have also moved a ton in the past 10 years or so. I feel like that's possibly why I've struggled finding meaningful connections in real life. But even when did spend a longer stretch of time in the same metro area, I still struggled. I love human interaction, and especially when I find someone to share my deepest thoughts with. In realf life, I suspect that most people are put off by that. Like someone else stated, those mommy groups are nice yet very stressful. I want to connect with genuine real moms. 

Now I've moved back to Sweden (where I'm from) and I have basically no friends at all. I do have a family for once, so that's nice, but they live a few hours away. 

 

I'm afraid I've completely lost my ability to first of all *find* like minded friends, but also making friends. I think I come across as a bit of a weird person, cause I like to discuss things and talk openly. And people shy away. But then I don't think I'd even want those kind of friends. I'm not by any means super exciting myself, but I like a bit of warmth and honesty in human relations, not just small talking and on the surface connection. 

 

As far as internet addiction goes, I feel like it's literally draining my energy to be online as much as I am. It's definitely a form of escape for me since I struggle with some health issues, I rather just be numbed by a computer screen sometimes. 

 

I've been home for many years with my kids and now that the youngest is 4 I'm feeling a sense of urgency to start working. Preferably my own business, but I fear I won't have what it takes. Both physically and mentally.

 

Well, it was good to see this thread and hopefully it hasn't died already.  

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Old 11-27-2011, 07:01 PM
 
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I went computer free for 4 years,.... It did not take me long to get hooked on MDC again. And it is not as happening as it was years ago but I still find myself staring at the computer.

And....

Ignoring my kids.

HELP!

Really. It is an issue here to and one I am trying to work on


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