Learning to let go of my dream of a supportive family. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 12-11-2012, 06:24 AM - Thread Starter
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My husband and I are rock solid and I'm so grateful for that.  We've been together for 12 years and have 2 home schooled boys, both of whom with some specific learning differences.  


My father has always bullied me and at the beginning of the summer I'd had enough and cried when he started on me.  He was telling me I was disgusting for breast feeding among other things.  Basically trying to make me feel bad.  It's the first time in 40 years that I've shown any emotion about this and it took him by surprise.  I think my emotion made him realise what he'd done over the years and he felt bad.  So bad that he lost his temper and frightened me and my children.  I had to hide them behind me and I was begging him to stop and leave us alone - that he was scaring me and my children.  Eventually he told me that I was dead to him and I stood up to him, at last, and thanked him.  I said that would be great.  Goodbye.


And so he left and I'm free.


But my family seem to have taken his 'side' and are cutting us out too.  No-one wants to talk about what happened.  My son tried and my mother physically turned her back on him.  We've always been the outcasts of the family.  They would go on holiday together, have birthday parties without inviting us - a 60th birthday party weekend away for my father that we weren't invited to, we'd turn up at my parents' house and there would be stuff all over for the other grandchildren but we would only go there when i asked if we could - we were never invited etc etc etc.


So although it's a relief that they're cutting us out, it hurts too.  I'm hoping my sister in law will stay in touch but I've not heard back for a while.  I hoped my mum would listen to me but she won't.  


I'd like to move on without feeling so lost and hurt.


Does anyone have a similar experience?  My husband's parents are truly wonderful and so I can hardly complain that I have no family, as I have them, but all the links to my childhood seem to have gone but they're just out of reach.  It's very confusing and hurtful.

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#2 of 2 Old 01-06-2013, 03:09 PM
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I haven't had a similar experience but wanted to give you a cyber hug and say how nice it must be to at least have your own family and the support of your inlaws. hug2.gif

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