MIL only sees our other kids when we/he brings them over. She has nothing to do with them except for holidays and birthdays. Hubbys not particularly close to her.
Hubby and I had a new baby girl 2 weeks ago.
MIL refused to come see her because I didnt give her MIL's middle name.
(2 other grandkids have MIL's middle name..wont come here b/c I'm here.)
Hubby told MIL that he'd try to bring our baby to her house next weekend.
Im feeling betrayed. It feels like hubby is condoning his mothers nasty behavior against me.
Powerless. Hubby TOLD me he was going to bring my daughter over there, regardless of how I feel. I feel like he's choosing to honor her feelings over mine.
I know Im super emotional right now and that MIL in general is a very loaded topic between us. I cant help but feeling like, "If seeing baby is important enough to you, you need to suck up your feelings about me and come here to see her."
I wouldnt be bitchy to her, Id be just as civil as always.
Am I overreacting? Too emotional about this? Is it a smaller issue than it feels to me right now?
I think 2 weeks is way way too early to have an "Away from mom" visit period. Whether you were on good terms or not. There is a reason the recover time is 6 weeks and it is to protect the baby as much as you. He should not be taking her anywhere. I guess it depends on the dynamic you have with MIL. I would not allow it, and he is for sure letting her know that he will overrule you for her. Which kind of sucks.
Thank you for the replies. Hubby agreed to wait til baby is 6 weeks old before bringing her out, which is great, but Im still feeling stuck emotionally.
He thinks Im being petty and immature and playing power games with wanting MIL to suck it up and come here. (I even said Id stay upstairs and take a bath while she visits) He feels like Im nt seeing the situation objectively and am going on feelings..
Whats the difference between feeling strongly based on the principle of a thing and wanting something out of spite?
I know I cant control how husband feels and certainly cant change it, but just having him feel the way he does breaks my heart.
He has no right to take your baby away from you without your consent. Stand up to him for your daughter's sake. Maybe she'll be okay during the visit, maybe she won't. Why risk it? Just to please this snotty, petty old woman who acts like she can sit in her house like a queen and make others wait on her. Its clear from what you describe that she doesnt give a damn about her grandkids, she is just acting out like a small child. Honor yourself and you will be honoring your child. Dont let your daughter become another pawn for your MIL's stupid games.