Oh heck yeah that's a form of abuse. Those "jokes" aren't funny; they are meant to mess with your mind.
Whose family are you staying with, yours or his? If it's his family, you might want to start making contingency plans for what you would do if he left. I wouldn't leave your son alone with him either.
Al-Anon is a good resource for family members of problem drinkers and I would check them out too.
I would definitely call that abuse. I agree that Al-Anon may be a great place to get some support.
Wife to one amazing husband , SAHM to DS 10/09, DS 10/19, one furbaby , and lots of !
Whether they are truly "jokes" or not (I'm thinking "not"), when someone knows that something hurts her or his partner, he or she is supposed to quit doing it because it's not cool to keep doing something that hurts someone. Especially not your partner.
I agree with the other posters, the threats are not okay.
Do you have a strategy for what you would do if he did leave, or if you decide you need to leave him? I think it's healthy for every partnered parent to have some sort of plan for what they would do if they were suddenly single, no matter how unlikely it is to happen.
He's saying it to hurt you. It is sooo hurtful, and I've experienced it a lot in my past relationship. You no longer feel any security in the relationship and constantly wonder if your wanted at all. Be strong