How to stop being annoyed all the time... - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-07-2013, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am probably going to sound like such a child after writing this, but I'm feeling a little out of control with this, and just need a place to vent. I feel like I am constantly annoyed and angry at myself, at others, at the things around me. A big part of it is that my husband and I and now our little girl have been living with my parents for a few years as we saved for a house. We've paid them rent, we have privacy, all that is fine. There have been some great moments, and I'm so glad our little girl has been so close to her grandparents, but it is time for us to be on our own as a family.

 

We are now getting ready to move and we have another month or so until then and I feel like I just cannot stand being around my parents any longer and I just cannot wait to get out of here. I am really starting to resent them and I don't want to feel that way. I already know what I should do: I need to keep my mouth shut and just try to relax and make this last month enjoyable between us, but I'm failing at that. I find myself getting snappy and irritated very easily by their comments. I don't think my parents particularly like where we are moving so they make negative comments about different things and they never say anything nice about what we're doing. My mom constantly talks about things we better make sure we do or buy or whatever. 


All those things are normal and there is nothing terribly wrong with what they are doing, it is just terribly irritating and unhelpful. I really need some inspiration of how to not make it worse. I really want to keep my mouth shut and be able to ignore, ignore, ignore, and just keep a happy face and do what I want to do without feeling guilty, etc. Sometimes I think my dad would like us to stay with them forever. 

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Old 09-08-2013, 08:57 AM
 
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I sounds like a difficult situation. They don't want you to go. They have loved their time with you there and are having trouble letting go.

Can you give yourself a little extra TLC? Extra sleep if you are lacking sleep will help a lot with the stress. Moving is stressful even if it is exciting and welcomed.

I wonder if there is a project you can give them? My mom is similar. You know she is just trying to be helpful. Can she help you locate furniture? Track down the best paint? Find something special to put in the new house to make it exciting for your daughter?

As you said it is only a short time before you leave. However you don't want it to hurt your long term relationship with them. So finding a way to smooth things over, even if only in your mind, is important.

Is there any chance you could talk with them and ask them to support the move and stop saying negative things?
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Old 09-08-2013, 08:42 PM
 
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give them extra babysitting time with your daughter while you and your husband spend extra time away from home. seems like this is a great time to do this anyway, since no doubt you have lots of details to attend to, and your daughter considers your parents' house to be her home already. this gets you out of their house more and more, keeps you busy, and gets things done... and your folks get more time to dote on your daughter. 

 

then, tell your parents how much time they will have with your daughter once you do move. give them something to "count on" to ease the worry and not-knowing. set up a weekly get together that they can count on as a regular thing.

 

take your mother's suggestions kindly, and then choose to ignore the ones you don't like. you MIGHT find that she really does have some good ones, and you might not be able to appreciate them at this moment.

 

good luck!

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Old 09-11-2013, 07:59 AM
 
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The first thing that comes to mind is to write a daily gratitude list. It can change your perspective dramatically.

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Old 09-22-2013, 02:56 AM
 
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Sometimes before a big change or separation, people will start to pick at and fight with each other, to make the separation easier somehow. I had a college friend who seemed to almost always have a fight with mother on the way to the airport when returning to school.

 

So, in addition to some of the other helpful suggestions (gratitude list, letting your parents know how often they will baby-sit, etc.) I think that acknowledging that you all will be grieving a certain amount over the change in your relationships brought about by the move may help.

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